I am just over 72hrs past my first methotrexate injection.  I have definitely noticed the side effects, but so far they have not been as bad as I thought.

Over the first 24hrs I felt nauseous and had a very dry mouth despite drinking lots – apparently this is very normal.  My bleeding also stopped – not what I was expecting.  Since those first 24 hrs, the nausea has continued 😦  I have spotted on and off (no more need for a pad, just a thin panty liner).  I have been super tired, but have been sleeping deeply – a silver lining I guess.  Last night I had weird pin-point pupils, Chris noticed them and so I looked in the mirror and absolutely freaked out.  With a quick google, it looks like it could be the painkillers that did that, so I am not keen on taking those anymore!  Pain has been bearable with pain killers – acetaminophen extra strong (NSAIDs like Ibuprofren are not good with the methotrexate), but the pain has been different to when I first started miscarrying where it felt like the worst period cramps, the pain I am experiencing now is short sharp bursts around my ovaries, but not constant.  Each time I get a short sharp burst of pain I hold my breathe (not literally) as I hope there is nothing crazy going on down there with a burst tube.

Apparently with methotrexate, the deed starts to kick in after 72 hrs, so I am hoping that tomorrow morning my hCG levels have begun to drop.

Emotionally, I have only broken down in tears three times – an average of once per day I believe is not bad going.  The things that upset the most is thinking about how for particular very short moments I actually believed this was a viable pregnancy and talked about the ‘may be’ and ‘what ifs’.  It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking like that.  Having said all that, I don’t think those thoughts are going to go away anytime soon.  So we have been focusing on our road trip out West, it helps a lot to re-focus the mind.  I think I am ready to go back to work tomorrow – I hope so, I’ve got a meeting in Stockholm to prepare for!  (that is if my doctor lets me fly :-s )

PS.  I have got to the point that I am not sure what category to post this under – ectopic pregnancy, suspected ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, part of IVF vol I???? I just hate not knowing if this was actually ectopic or not, they had no visible proof of where the pregnancy was and it frustrates the hell out of me – I think I will put it under feelings for now and figure it out later.  I wonder what the doctors call this?