3 months post Methotrexate

Today marks the day that 3 months ago I took the methotrexate shot to terminate my suspected ectopic pregnancy.  Today is an important day for Chris and I because we are officially allowed to try to conceive again!  Woohoo!!!  We were on a ban from conceiving just in case I got pregnant and the methotrexate was still in my system causing damage to the embryo.

Three months has flown by…I have kept myself busy with work travels and finishing off various projects at work before the end of the year.  Also preparing for Christmas has been a nice distraction too.  Now all that is left to do is make some time for a few parties to see in the new year.

You cannot believe how much I am looking forward to 2016 and our next round of IVF treatment 🙂 yup….this craazy lady here is looking forward to being stabbed in the tummy with needles.

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Methotrexate Side Effects

I am just over 72hrs past my first methotrexate injection.  I have definitely noticed the side effects, but so far they have not been as bad as I thought.

Over the first 24hrs I felt nauseous and had a very dry mouth despite drinking lots – apparently this is very normal.  My bleeding also stopped – not what I was expecting.  Since those first 24 hrs, the nausea has continued 😦  I have spotted on and off (no more need for a pad, just a thin panty liner).  I have been super tired, but have been sleeping deeply – a silver lining I guess.  Last night I had weird pin-point pupils, Chris noticed them and so I looked in the mirror and absolutely freaked out.  With a quick google, it looks like it could be the painkillers that did that, so I am not keen on taking those anymore!  Pain has been bearable with pain killers – acetaminophen extra strong (NSAIDs like Ibuprofren are not good with the methotrexate), but the pain has been different to when I first started miscarrying where it felt like the worst period cramps, the pain I am experiencing now is short sharp bursts around my ovaries, but not constant.  Each time I get a short sharp burst of pain I hold my breathe (not literally) as I hope there is nothing crazy going on down there with a burst tube.

Apparently with methotrexate, the deed starts to kick in after 72 hrs, so I am hoping that tomorrow morning my hCG levels have begun to drop.

Emotionally, I have only broken down in tears three times – an average of once per day I believe is not bad going.  The things that upset the most is thinking about how for particular very short moments I actually believed this was a viable pregnancy and talked about the ‘may be’ and ‘what ifs’.  It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking like that.  Having said all that, I don’t think those thoughts are going to go away anytime soon.  So we have been focusing on our road trip out West, it helps a lot to re-focus the mind.  I think I am ready to go back to work tomorrow – I hope so, I’ve got a meeting in Stockholm to prepare for!  (that is if my doctor lets me fly :-s )

PS.  I have got to the point that I am not sure what category to post this under – ectopic pregnancy, suspected ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, part of IVF vol I???? I just hate not knowing if this was actually ectopic or not, they had no visible proof of where the pregnancy was and it frustrates the hell out of me – I think I will put it under feelings for now and figure it out later.  I wonder what the doctors call this?