Have you heard Alessia Cara’s song ‘Here’?  If you haven’t heard it yet, you probably haven’t switched on the radio in a while.  You can check out her video below.

As Alessia’s song has been on the radio a lot recently, for some reason, every time I hear it I sing along with some different ‘Dani’s own’ lyrics.  So I thought I’d treat you to my parody version….it reminds me of how I feel when I accidentally stray into online forums, in this case…. Trying to Conceive (TTC) forums.

———————–

I’m sorry if I seem uninterested

Or I’m not listenin’ or I’m indifferent

Truly, I ain’t got no business here

But since google took me here

I just came to check it but really

I would rather be on my blog all by myself not in this forum

With people who don’t even care about my well-being

I’m not a doctor, don’t ask, I don’t need your baby sprinkles

So you can go back, please enjoy your EW CM*

I’ll be here, somewhere in the corner under clouds of stupidity

With this girl who’s hollering with her B-F-P

Over this TTC advice I don’t listen to and I don’t wanna put my legs up over my head

So tell my IF sisters that I’ll be over here

 

Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here oh oh oh

I ask myself what am I doing here?

Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here

And I can’t wait till I can break up outta here

 

Excuse me if I seem a little unimpressed with this

An anti-social pessimist but usually I don’t mess with this

And I know you mean only the best and

Your intentions aren’t to bother me

But honestly I’d rather be

Somewhere with my blogger friends we can kick it and just write

About infertility with the struggle (like we usually do)

And we’ll discuss our big dreams

How we plan to take over the planet

So pardon my manners, I hope you’ll understand

That I’ll be here

Not there in the TTC forum with the girl

Who’s always asking questions like “Can I get Pregnant from a blow job?”

So tell them I’ll be here

Right next to the girl who’s complaining cause

She can’t figure out when her next fertile period will be

Oh God why am I here?

 

Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here oh oh oh

I ask myself what am I doing here?

Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here

And I can’t wait till we can break up outta here

 

Hours later reading all your bitchiness

Some girl’s talking bout baby dust

Well I ain’t got none

How did it ever come to this

I shoulda never come to this

So holla at me I’ll be on my wordpress when you’re done

I’m standoffish, don’t want what you’re advice

And I’m done talking

Awfully sad it had to be that way

So tell my bloggers don’t worry I’ll be back here

And I’m sitting on my laptop with my infertility in tow

Yo I’ll be over here

 

Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here oh oh oh

I ask myself what am I doing here?

Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here

And I can’t wait till we can break up outta here

 

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

———————————–

*Egg White Cervical Mucus

Thanks Alessia for the inspiration!!!