When logging on to catch up on my daily dose of the blogging world, I get a little bit excited. I am excited because I love to see that announcement I myself long to write. Seeing those beautiful two pink lines. I am inspired by women who have stayed strong through their battles against infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, they are unaware what their blogs have helped to overcome in the last few months.
But excitement is rarely straight forward in the infertility community. Parties, ‘champagne’, phone calls, hugs, kisses, messages from loved ones are not always immediately possible. I get nervous when I log on almost as much as I get excited. I get nervous for those who the bitter sweet of the two pink lines can be several weeks down the line, who may experience the greatest sadness of their lives. The happiness, cruelly taken away. The punch in the stomach. The pain and headaches from sadness and sometimes even a depressive hole. I am nervous for them.
There is nothing more I can say about these feelings other than how I find some days to be simply bitter sweet. I know the old saying ‘When life throws you lemons, make lemonade’, but sometimes life is just not like that. Those lemons suck. Really suck.