It’s not always an easy subject to talk about – abortion. It’s not an easy subject to talk about in any country, but for some reason it is something I feel is even harder to talk about in the US. Why? Because it is so politically charged here. It comes up in political debates a lot, and as much as I can debate my socks off about the subject, I don’t really like confrontation. Particularly in front of strangers. Actually, I just don’t like to upset people. So my blog post yesterday about “abortion and the grey space” made me a little bit nervous….talking about abortion publicly, I was afraid I might upset someone –unintentionally of course. Not because of where my points of view on abortion lay, but just because I started a conversation about abortion.
I talked it through with Chris what I was planning on posting. He thought everything I was talking about was interesting. We ended up having our own debate against the world. (I love that we can do this together).
So in the end, I decided to press the ‘publish’ button because I promised this month I would write about things on my mind and open myself up a little…go a bit deeper.
I am now completely paranoid that I have upset someone. Not on purpose of course. But I am also paranoid about attracting haters! Have you ever used the key word ‘abortion’ to search for blog posts about the subject? Probably not, but I can tell you that there are some haters out there. I once got so emotionally upset about one post I ended up correcting someone on their blog. I immediately regretted it.
If I ever see an article about abortion on facebook I like to read all the comments because it educates me on both sides of the argument. But really, I get sickly engrossed in how intense other human beings get towards other human beings who have never met. It has heightened my awareness (or made me paranoid) of just how nasty people can get online. I have never experienced trolls on my blog or facebook page, but I know that if I did I would probably consider giving up blogging quite quickly. As I said, I’m not one for confrontation. I only meant to highlight some issues I’ve experienced as a direct result of experiencing loss and not upset anyone.
The Great Pudding Club Hunt 
Interesting – I just read your other post as I hadn’t caught up yet. I agree it is a grey area… Although to me they should be described differently. A required abortion (for medical reasons) is totally different to an elective abortion as I think about it.
I actually think the pro choice lobby has gone a bit far lately. I almost got into a discussion on FB (well, I posted on someone’s post promoting abortion but she didn’t respond, although another of her friends did)… It was the Gloria Steinem post about her book dedication to her abortion doctor. I guess I feel a bit touchy lately about people celebrating abortion. Fortunately I haven’t come across any haters on that particular subject, but I do think the Internet attracts trolls! You don’t owe anyone paranoia… You are the least offensive person out there!
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Thanks for the supportive words. I just can’t help being paranoid about being offensive! I know what I what wrote was pretty neutral….you just never know!!
I think the UK is more progressive in its choice of terms; I found a guide for UK doctors online about the subject, and the UK seemed to be the first to start formally using the word miscarriage in medical publications instead of spontaneous abortion. Then there is also a difference in the UK and US over what is actually an ‘elective’ abortion. Technically, in the UK, you can only legally elect for an abortion for maternal life, mental health, health, rape, fetal defects, and/or socioeconomic factors (which I know is pretty broad!!!), whereas ‘generally’ in the US and Canada there are no restrictions at all…except in certain states. It is incredibly confusing overall! Anyway….I digress.
I can very much understand your sensitivities about people celebrating abortion after suffering a miscarriage. Maybe it’s only a temporary feeling or may be becomes a permanent feeling. But I do know it’s pretty tough on the soul.
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Oh yes, I remember some friends ended up having to have a medical termination – it was really sad. And everyone just referred to it as they lost the baby or a miscarriage. I know it sounds weird but I think in the UK there is a perceived difference in choosing to abort because you don’t want a baby, or being forced to abort to prevent suffering (of the mother or the baby). Our friends’ baby (they were told) would have not lived very long, if at all, and they felt it would have been worse for him to live in pain. However as she was so far along, she still had to give birth. I can’t imagine calling that an “abortion”.
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Every single time I have written about this topic I’m petrified of the possible fall out. I don’t talk about it in real life, very few of our friends and family know about this part of our lives, again because I’m petrified of the fall out. Judgement is scary at the best of time. And yet, jumping into an emotionally hated contraversial topic like abortion is simply petrofying.
Maybe it will help you to know that I’ve only ever had a few trolls, and surprisingly not one negative moment about our abortion experience. I’m hoping you will have a similar experience. And if you do ever attract a troll, I hope you don’t give up. Rather, just ban them (its really simple to do) and keep sharing and education with those who love you! Your courage is remarkable my friend, please keep it up!
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Yes!! It is family and some friends I mostly worry about not understanding.
Thank you for the supportive words. I hope I never have to consider banning anybody! I actually feel sick at the thought of it. I’ve been blogging now almost a year and still get nervous about putting my heart out there. I know my post from yesterday was actually incredibly neutral and I didn’t write too much about my feelings on purpose. I am not ready for sharing that conversation about abortion just yet.
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I somehow missed the postal will go check it out but I say good on you for posting what you feel. That is always something you can do when it is your own blog and I applaud you for tackling a big issue.
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Ok I just went to read your post and there is nothing to be paranoid about it in it at all. It is clear and factual. You couldn’t ask for anything more!
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Thank you 🙂 I know it was pretty neutral and I didn’t convey much personal feelings about abortion per se, but just can’t help but feel nervous! I actually want to paste a link to that post on my facebook to raise some awareness about it all, but I think that is more nerve wracking!!!!! Still not done it yet :-s
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You better not let any trolls scare you off. I’m sure we all agree that we would really miss you if you stopped blogging!!! 🙂 And it was a great post…very well written.
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