In our pack of homework there was a little article from our fertility clinic’s resident psychologist. I am sure she wouldn’t mind me copying it to my blog to share with everyone else if it helps anyone else. Thank you Dr Barbara Kersey for your wise words….
1. Lower your expectations of yourself at this time. Infertility treatment is stressful. Learn to say “no” to other commitments that are not absolutely necessary. Chris and I both agreed we need to do this more.
2. Don’t listen to “horror stories” from other patients or friends. Keep your own counsel in the waiting room. Exchange only helpful, positive suggestions with others. I haven’t heard too many horror stories on the blogs. I don’t go to forums too much because this is where I have come across horror stories. I’ll be honest, I tend to find bloggers a bit more educated in their opinions compared to those who may be posting on forums. That doesn’t mean all people on forums are not educated, I just find that sometimes forums can be a little laisez faire behind posts. So far we have not spoken to anyone in the waiting room, and we probably won’t; it’s quite a daunting place, but you never know if someone there has just had a miscarriage or just found out they are pregnant. I’m not inclined to start any conversations here.
3. Make it your business to be as calm as possible when you are here for treatment. This won’t guarantee that you will get pregnant, but it can only help. Whenever I have an appointment I have had my blood pressure taken – there is definitely a correlation behind the type of appointment and my increased blood pressure! But I have noticed that it was lower for my third IUI. Hopefully that is because I am relaxing a bit more.
4. To help develop your sense of calm, try yoga, meditation, full body massage, journaling, walking etc. ANYTHING that helps keep your balance. I love yoga, blogging, walking – I think one can always add in a massage or two here or there!
5. Recogonise that the staff is here to help you. Anxiety and anger are natural feelings, but won’t help you (or anyone else) to let staff bet the recipient of these feelings. We spoke with a nurse once about this issue. I said that they must have a very difficult job when dealing with such sensitive patients. The nurse said she finds it hard and there are very difficult days, but equally a number of rewarding days. She never knows how a patient will react so tends to keep very reserved. My hats go off to the doctors and nurses working in this industry for the challenges they face everyday.
6. Get outside support. Try Resolve, the national support group for couples who deal with infertility. For information go to www.resolve.org. Once softball league is finished next week, we might go to one of our local meetings. We both agree it might be a good idea to meet some others and get some support.
7. Recognise that infertility is a COUPLES’ issue. Keep the lines of communication open with your partner. Infertility is a huge stress on marriage. Get outside help if needed. Well Chris wrote a blog post about this the other day…so I won’t say much more other than he is a great rock to me, I hope I am to him too. I hope we can keep doing this all the way until we have a little F. (Obviously keeping the whole marriage thing up afterwards too 😉 )
Happy Friday Y’all!!! (Check me out with my American speak!!!)