I am insanely missing my blog right now!  I have been so busy with work and other things that my blogging has suffered, and I am constantly thinking about things I want to write about and get out of my head, I just haven’t been able to.  There is definitely a truth in writing being a form of therapy…a therapy I’ve come to rely on and when it’s not there I start to get itchy.  Anyway, I am here!  Briefly albeit 😦

Today I woke up at 4AM and could not get back to sleep, I won’t lie, I was a little anxious about the hysteroscopy procedure today.  We got up at 5AM so I could shower before inserting the cytotec pills into my vagina!  Nice.  We arrived at the clinic at 6:30AM and the nurses were great as usual.  I was first on the surgery list, a few other ladies were there for their egg retrievals after me.  I got changed into my beautiful one size fits all, modesty covering gown and climbed into a bed with freshly warmed sheets and a couple of extra because I get so so cold in that prep/recovery room!  I signed my life away and took the obligatory pregnancy test.  It would be miraculous if I was pregnant and we all joked about how we all would be happy if I had to be sent home because it turned out to be positive.  No such luck.

The nurse prepared the back of my right hand for the IV needle.  I have wonderful veins, but the nurse managed to bust it and it started swelling up like a balloon.  I started to feel faint like I was about to pass out.  I’m not a needle fan so watching this made me feel sick.  So she tried again but on the inside of my forearm.  She got the needle in, but it felt really, really weird.  She wasn’t happy with it, so she called another nurse to come take a look and try on my other hand. I was feeling really light headed at this point, so she lay me down almost completely.  The other nurse had done my IVs both times previously, so I started to feel a little better when she attempted to insert the needle in the back of my left hand.  She also used lidocaine to numb the area first so I was instantly less nervous because I couldn’t feel the needle jabbing around inside me!  Finally, the IV was in!

Chris came back to keep me company whilst we waited for my doctor to arrive.  After about 20 minutes she arrived and asked if I had any questions; I may have mentioned this before but she has a real awkward bed side manner, it is actually now growing on me!  Then the anesthesiologist gave me a cocktail of drugs through my IV, and I started to feel like I had 4 or 5 strong margaritas (apparently margaritas was what he was putting through my IV!).  I was wheeled on my bed through to the operating room, and I concentrated really hard on looking around the room to see what it was like.  But that lasted 30 seconds and I was out.  Next thing I knew, I was waking up with Chris next to me, and everyone was laughing and joking at me because I had apparently been dancing to Elton John music in the surgery. Hmmmm.  OK, if that’s what you say!  I think it might actually be credible thing I’d do!

I vaguely remember them also saying that everything looked good on the camera and they had taken a biopsy to be sure.  I had to ask Chris later if I imagined this conversation because I wasn’t sure if I had dreamed it!

I was really, really sleepy coming out of this cocktail of sedation drugs compared to my egg retrievals. I struggled to wake up and felt very woozy. I asked the nurse if the drugs were different, but she said they were the same, they may have given me a little more this time, or just being tired and stressed can make recovery time longer.  Well, both of those things are true so I guess that explained it.  After an hour of coming out of the operating room, I was ready to be driven home.  We stopped off at Panera bread to buy some breakfast treats.  I also ordered a decaf caramel latte and when I took a sip of it I was convinced it had no coffee in it at all!  It just tasted like steamed milk to me.  Chris tried it and said that it definitely had coffee in it.  I didn’t believe him, miffed,  I didn’t drink anymore of it until I got home, when this time I took a sip it definitely had coffee in it!  So something weird was going on with my taste buds!  I attempted to eat my giant cinnamon roll, but my mouth was sooooooooooo dry I could barely swallow a mouthful.  My throat is sore and my mouth dry now still!  Well at least this time I don’t have a drippy nose!  Ah well, I think I would rather have been sedated than have none, so I can’t complain in the grander scheme of things.

So once again, everything looks normal.  We still have no explanation as to what may be wrong.  I  am pleased that there is nothing obviously wrong with my uterus (well, I am still waiting for the results of the endometrieal biopsy they took whilst they were in there today!).

Tomorrow I will phone and see what the plan is for starting IVF round 3 because my period is due to start 3 days before my results appointment, so I need to see if they will start me on down regulation before the results.  I also don’t really know much about their lupron down regulation protocol and how long they do it for.

For now I have a very busy week ahead of me, but I have a quieter weekend coming, so I hope to catch up with the blogging then and get me some blog therapy in!