Letrozole all gone – waiting for the Ultrasound CD11

February 10, 2015February 10, 2015Leave a comment

I took my last two Letrozole tablets today. I haven’t had tiredness today like I had last week, but I do have some abdominal pains so I am sat here with a hot water bottle. Maybe its a psychological thing, but I think the hot water bottle helps. I don’t really know if it is my Irritable Bowel Syndrome or a side effect of the Letrozole that is causing it. Either way, it sucks and wish it would go away.

The abdominal pains started today after lunch, just as I was about to lead a workshop for the afternoon. I thought about all the possible excuses I could come up with as people arrived. I looked around the room filled with men all over the age of forty five I decided that I would only end up embarrassing one of them with the truth. So I stuck it out. But as soon as I got into the workshop I forgot about the pain. It was only when I stopped thinking and took a breather for a minute that I realised the pain was still there.

I’ll start my ovulation predictor tests tomorrow, a couple of days sooner than when the nurse suggested. But I have paranoia that I will have a short cycle this month and miss out on IUI! I’m not sure the nurse was aware that I sometimes have short cycles of 22 days. It was only after I got home and read the information pack I thought perhaps I should start the tests a bit sooner. Yey! Holding my pee in the mornings to pee in a cup time. Trying to do it in the dark can be fun when I don’t want to wake Chris up too early.

Chris took this photo yesterday – It says so much more about him than a blog post possibly could

I asked Chris to guest blog for me this week. He wants to, he is just not sure what to write. He is a good writer. He has a published book already and has been writing a novel in his spare time over the last few years, so he knows how to write well. Unlike me! He has some ideas what to write about, but is nervous sharing his thoughts. I said he should read some of the blogs from other men, perhaps it will help him see from a different perspective how blogging can be a bit of therapy for the mind. I hope he does write something, but I am not going to pressure him or make him feel bad. Blogging is not everyone’s cup of tea and I am certainly still learning – so far it tastes pretty good and I can see it fitting into my daily routine. Let’s see how addictive it can get 🙂

When to tell work that you are having fertility treatment?

February 7, 2015February 7, 2015Leave a comment

Should I tell work about our troubles with fertility? I had so many questions about this, playing out many scenarios. Who should I tell? When is an appropriate time to talk about? How do you get onto the subject? What my colleagues would think? Would they treat me differently? Would they see me differently? Would they even care?

We had our big team meeting to discuss our annual programme of work two weeks ago, just after our doctor diagnosed ‘unexplained infertility’. At the time, my head was spinning with all these big questions. Knowing that we were going to be talking about the coming year and which project each person would be assigned to, I thought perhaps my team should be aware that I had a good reason for why I was less keen to travel for work. But I chickened out of telling anyone. It was too difficult to bring up the subject and I had no idea how to raise it. So I left it at that, I said nothing We planned our programme of work, and agreed when I would travel.

This year, so far, I have work travel plans to go to Paris, Washington DC, Toronto and Bavaria. I’m not going to be racking up the air miles gold status like I did in 2014, but it’s enough to be starting with. It’s enough to probably mess up a few chances to conceive – or if I were to fall pregnant, then I would need to be cautious about how much I fly. Last year we were very lucky. Despite my many trips to other side of the pond, there was only really one time where my work travel reduced our chances of success. It really was quite amazing!

Back to the question of when to tell work? Well, a good opportunity came along when I had a one to one with my line manager to discuss annual personal objectives. I struggled to get the words out, but eventually managed to explain that Chris and I were going through fertility treatment. My boss is very nice and has always joked with me ‘wait ’til you have little Chris and Dani’s running around!!’. So as you can imagine, he provided some comforting words – mostly focusing about what would happen when I do get pregnant, how much support I would get and not to worry about anything. I felt very comforted, but I could not really talk about what my biggest concern was – taking time off work for appointments and treatment. I have plenty of leave I can take, but a lot of my work requires advance planning, so with treatments based around my irregular cycles, this may have an impact.

Once I get a bit more comfortable talking about it, I know I will be able to easily talk to him about it. I am very lucky. It’s actually myself who is the biggest hurdle in all this. I have great colleagues who I know will definitely be very supportive and understanding, but it’s knowing how to initiate that discussion I can’t quite get over. Maybe next week, if I’m feeling brave!

Soooo sleepy but still managed to dodge a few balls

February 6, 2015February 8, 2015Leave a comment

Today I started the letrozole. 2 teeny 2.5mg tablets a day for five days. This small prescription should result in ‘super ovulation’; hopefully this should stimulate development of multiple follicles and eggs being released, therefore increasing the chances of pregnancy. The nurse provided me with an info sheet and described some of the side effects. The only strange feeling I had today was sudden extreme tiredness, when I was driving!! That was very bizarre, so much so I almost skipped dodgeball this evening. I checked the pharmacists long list of side effects, tiredness was on there. But so was almost every other side effect known to man! Has anyone had this with letrozole too?

Although I was glad I got out the house, I wish I had skipped dodgeball. whilst playing I pulled a tendon in my thigh. It kills! Being on letrozole means that I can only really take Tylenol as a pain killer (which I have none of in the house! Doh!). So it’s going to be an uncomfortable nights sleep. Why can’t I be sleepy now???!!!

I wasn’t sure how much my prescription was going to cost, but the nurse showed me a good website www.goodrx.com that gives you coupons for prescriptions. She told me I should pay no more than $10 for the letrozole. So I printed the coupon and discovered my insurance covers it, and I payed just 0.26c for it. I’m so happy!!!

These ten pills can cost over $150 :-s but if you find a coupon they can be about $15

Mild Insurance Panic!

February 5, 2015February 5, 20153 Comments

This evening I was helping Chris with filing his taxes and was searching through our medical paperwork. I pulled out our insurance policy booklet and flicked through it to read about infertility treatment coverage. I already knew we were 100% covered, but what I caught sight of was that we needed prior approval for certain procedures – such as IUI! Whoops…!!

We are learning a lot about medical insurance, policies, bills, coverage, approval, pharmacies – the lot! But there is so much to keep tabs of that I am not used to. This was one of them.

After mildly panicking that I had screwed up, I called up my insurance company, and phew, I discovered that I did not need prior approval for this. Panic over. These insurance booklets can be very confusing. Especially when our insurance is worldwide cover, so depending on which country you are in, depends on the process. Grrrrrrr. However, I am entirely grateful that I do have amazing insurance.

I appreciate the NHS – I really do, particularly when it comes to the complicated billing system we have here. However, if we were in the UK right now things would be different. NHS guidelines used to be that IUI treatment was offered on the NHS if:

a man has mild fertility problems
a woman has mild endometriosis
a couple has unexplained infertility

However, new guidelines released in 2013 state that IUI is no longer offered in these circumstances. Instead, we would probably have been advised to keep trying to conceive through regular unprotected sexual intercourse for a total of two years. Only after this time we may be offered in vitro fertilisation (IVF). So if we were in the UK right now we would be 10 months and counting, then going straight to IVF. That would be pretty scary. I’m kind of glad we are where we are right now in the US!!

It can all get a little confusing sometimes

IUI beginnings & Chocolate Pudding

February 4, 2015February 4, 2015Leave a comment

Last night my period started, a day earlier than expected. I cried with Chris. He is so good at helping me see the brighter side of life. But this only really meant one thing for us – we are going to start IUI. Everything I have read about is now becoming real. I had already picked up the Letrozole last week. It didn’t seem real then because there was still a chance I wouldn’t need to take it. Now it is real. I start the Letrozole on Thursday for five days. I have scheduled in my first ultrasound for Friday 13th. Talk about an ominous date. I guess the rest will happen as it happens…

In the mean time, I’m going to chill out here with my chocolate pudding and try to forget about all of this. Well until Thursday at least.

Sporting activities during the two week wait – stupid to do it or stupid to not do it?

February 2, 2015February 2, 20152 Comments

Day 12 of the two week wait – and on day 11 I did something which might be stupid.

Chris and I are both keep active and we like to try new sports. Here is a list of sports we have done over the last few years or so…

Rock climbing
Hiking
Skiing & Snowboarding
Yoga
Insanity exercise programme
P90X3 exercise programme
Dodgeball
Volleyball
Softball

Our favourite sport is anything which involves being outdoors – particularly if it is quiet and remote (much to my mother’s horror!). We have had discussions about whether or not putting myself at risk from a big fall on a climb was worth it, and we decided to give climbing a break and spend more of our free time travelling to cities and taking the opportunity to do some siteseeing around Virginia.

We have missed climbing a lot over the last year. We also skipped a couple of ski trips last year too, similarly, not wanting to put myself into a risky situation with a big fall. But after the last year we looked back and realised that you can’t put your life on hold just because you are trying to conceive. Although I didn’t wrap myself in cotton wool during the two week wait, I was very conscious about doing something silly in case I was pregnant.

So this weekend we headed west on a ski trip with a few friends. I decided to ski the easier runs and not put myself in potential danger on the black runs this time round. This was so much fun, I was in my element, enjoying being outside on the mountain. The second day, Chris and I decided we would keep going with our lessons to learn each other’s sport. I took a snow board lesson (my third one) and Chris took a ski lesson.

As I am a beginner on a board I knew I would be sticking to the bunny slopes – little chance of big falls here! Perhaps a few bruises and bit of hurt pride, but other than that – safe as houses. This was all until the very last run of the day. I had two lessons that day, and suddenly snow boarding began to click (hooray! at last!!!!). Well…..so I thought! I felt comfortable picking up some speed (but not quite as fast as I ski, so I know what stupidly fast is), and as I came into the flat, I caught an edge and landed heavily on my backside – I was winded. When Chris hurried over to me, I could barely breathe. I cried. I cried because it was such a stupid thing for me to do. Also, my stomach and back was writhing with pain. I can deal with bruises – but my abdomen just throbbed like hell, as if I had been punched in the stomach.

I know it is highly unlikely that this fall could cause a failed pregnancy this time – but why would I risk it for my selfish desire to do these dangerous sports??!! When you try to look at other people’s experiences with these sports, I have not found consistent guidance on whether they should be avoided completely. The only common guidance I found was to seek advice from your doctor, I suppose because each individual is different. And this is exactly what I shall do next time I see her. But I have read that after IUI, strenuous exercise should be avoided, so this could be a mute point if this month is a failure and we proceed with IUI next month.

When I am pregnant then I want to keep doing as much as is thought to be reasonable. But what is reasonable? I like this lady’s story about rock climbing when she was pregnant: Anonymous mom – I was a pregnant rock climber (www.mommyish.com) She talks about how she felt during her pregnancy and how people made hurtful comments (unintentionally sometimes). You have to be a strong person to do this. I’m not sure I can.

I found two books which I have seen a good few reviews about, these are going on my to read list:

Exercising Through Pregnancy by Dr James Clapp

Fit & Healthy Pregnancy: How to stay strong and in shape for you and your baby by Kristina Pinto