I never finished my story of ‘Don’t panic Mr Mainwaring‘. Not long after I wrote my blog post, Chris called me back. He could not make it home to give me my injection because he had a meeting in less than an hour. Rather begrudgingly I agreed to meet him at his work for him to administer the Ovidrel I needed. Just as I was leaving,Chris called me again. He had read my blog post and felt guilty, so was going to come home. But I missed his call as I got in the car, so at his work it was to be! Unfortunately, his work place does not have any ‘private’ meeting rooms we could use, they are all glass walled, so we decided to just do it in the car park (AKA parking lot for my American friends).
Yup, this is where it was going to go down! I got out of the car and handed him the equipment. He could tell I was in a grump; I said I didn’t want to talk about it, rather to just get it over and done with. I held up my shirt so he could wipe my belly down with an antiseptic wipe, he got the air bubbles out of the pre-filled needle, took the cap off, and whilst I squeezed my belly, he injected the needle into me subcutaneously. He didn’t even count this time, I just held my breathe, closed my eyes and didn’t move until he told me it was over. He threw away the needle in the mini bio-hazard bin that the pharmacy had provided me with. And that was it….within seconds I felt dizzy, as usual. I sat back down in my car, I didn’t think driving to work would be a good idea for a little while. Chris went back to work, and so I sat there in my car eating the sour jelly beans I had brought along as a treat to myself. These were the only things holding back the tears. I think it is actually impossible to cry whilst stuffing your face with jelly beans.
I was upset at myself for being so pathetic! Why couldn’t I have just done the injection myself? I was psychologically torturing myself. I hope that is the last time I ever have to do it, otherwise next time I am going to have to get the nurse to coach me through it. All you ladies that have managed to inject yourself – kudos to you. Kudos.
The Great Pudding Club Hunt 
I’m glad you guys made it work in the end, and I love the your treat is jelly beans – what a wonderful idea. I hope all of this pays off in the end!
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Thanks! It will definitely make a funny story to tell our child one day in the future if this one is successful!!
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Aw, don’t beat yourself up over it; this is hard enough without torturing ourselves for weak moments. Hopefully you won’t have to do this again (for many reasons, including not wanting to inject yourself), but look how far you’ve come on this journey! I’m sure you have already done things you were afraid of or didn’t believe you could do. If anything, this process shows us how strong we all really are. In the meantime, try not to worry about what you don’t have to yet. Just enjoy those sour jelly beans, and thanks for the tip– next time I feel like crying I’ll stuff myself with a handful of jelly beans! 😉
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I know I’m probably being too harsh on myself especially as I see that this needle thing should be one of the smaller hurdles in the journey in comparison!!! The mind-it’s a funny old place!
I hear on blogs from some strong ladies who inspire me, we can’t be strong at everything, so we can help each other. I’m so glad I’ve found blogging- I would probably be dwelling in my own insanity right now if I hadn’t found it!
Ps. Maybe they have to specifically be sour jelly beans, as the sourness creates the added distraction 😉
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There are lots of people who can’t give themselves injections, and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I did it because the nurse was basically forcing me to, but I really, really hope I never have to do it by myself. I’m not sure I could. Enjoy the jelly beans, and I’ll keep my fingers crossed that this is it for you. It sounds like you’re OVing possibly earlier than me! Are you on letrozole too?
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I think that’s what I need, is someone to ‘force’ me to do it myself. I wonder if it’s the initial thought of doing, once you’ve done it once it gets easier? Anyway, we shall not think of the next one for either of us I hope there won’t be.
I OVd CD 12 (IUI day fortunately worked out!) even on letrozole which I thought was supposed to help control it! But I can easily have 22 day cycles, so I guess the Letrozole has done well last 3 times to be almost ‘normal’!
Here’s to our dreaded 2WW (toasting you with my non alcoholic sparkling beverage :-))
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If it’s any consolation, I’m nowhere near needle-phobic and I had a massive meltdown before mine. On the first night of my injection starting, I sat hysterically between crying and laughing; that uncomfortable mid-ground where you’re not quite doing either and you have those confused tears coming out your eyes!! Husband flat out had refused to inject me, and at the time of being given the kit, I wasn’t bothered because I inject kids with diabetes with their insulin quite regularly as part of my job. So I was somewhat caught out really and how suddenly impossible it seemed. I ended up having to stab myself repeatedly with a hair pin with no plastic protective end, with the logic that well, it can’t be any worse than this. Weird, I know. Then I put the needle in without looking, once it was in, I looked and just left the needle there for a good minute. Once I’d stopped freaking the hell out about the needle being in my skin, the rest was ok. I totally get your angst about it, 100%, but one positive: when you can do it yourself, it sounds pretty awesome: ‘yeah, I can inject myself daily, it’s a big needle thing, so what of it?!’ and all the while fertiles sitting listening recoil in horror!! 😉
I’m glad you managed to get it all done though, and the jelly bean bit made me laugh out loud – the times I’ve tried bawling whilst stuffing my mouth with McDonalds or Haribo or sour apple Chewits…you’re right, it doesn’t work!!! 😀
Good luck 🙂 xx
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Oh I totally did that whole routine too my first time, the difference being after 40 minutes of it Chris just did it for me. Did your husband refuse because he isn’t good with needles or because he thought you should do it and be brave??
Oh sour mix Haribo, how I miss that good stuff! They only do gummy bears and cherries haribo here in the states! Not even starmix. I’m trying to educate my american friends in the happy world of haribo. One by one 🙂
Thanks for the luck.
I hope today’s positive result for you is the one, I’m pretty excited for you 😀
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It’s hard!! Just seems so unnatural doing it!!! He refused because he isn’t good with needles; ok having them done by a nurse, but injecting other people is a no-no! Pahaha!
AMERICA DOESN’T HAVE SOUR HARIBO?!! I feel like I should post emergency packs to you to help you prove the utter wondrousness of it all.
Thank you, I’ve done another test same as yesterday’s type and it seems more defined but am remaining cautious because last time I miscarried 3 days after
IF steals any joy, really!
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I imagine I will be just like you and won’t be able to inject myself with the needles and I’m ok with that. You should be, too. Don’t beat yourself up over it, you are doing the best you can. Glad that you had a handful of jelly beans to help you through it. 🙂
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Aw, sorry you had such a rough day of it. It’s a funny scene to imagine — what might other people have thought if they saw you pull up in the parking lot, had a man come up to your car to inject you with something, and then you sat there eating jelly beans?! Would anyone guess? 🙂 I hope the rest of your cycle is easier!
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