My very first blog post was written at 5AM, almost 9 months ago. One early weekend morning I just couldn’t get back to sleep. I had so many thoughts whirling around in my head, it hurt a lot. You see I was facing a mountain, I was just starting my journey to join the great pudding club under difficult circumstance, my journey to overcome infertility. After I had written my ideas down in that blog post, my head felt calmer, clearer – I felt free. I re-read my first published post to myself over and over again. My first post was entitled: “The Beginning? Or the Beginning of the End?” There was something comforting about seeing the words on the screen as I felt a huge relief begin to slip off my shoulders.
It was no longer a secret that Chris and I were struggling to get pregnant.
But WHO AM I?
Starting with the basics, I am a 32 year old Brit living in Virginia, USA. I moved here with my husband Chris after we decided we would like to try living abroad before settling down with children. So I applied for a job with a 3 year contract, and here we are!! 2 years and 9 months later, now with the offer of a permanent contract in our hands, we have decided to stay for a little bit longer.
We are not done with the USA just yet, Chris and I both have good jobs and we still have a lot of America to see. A big part of our decision to stay longer is that my job offers excellent insurance coverage, including amazing infertility coverage. If we returned back to the UK, we would have to wait a long time to receive IVF treatment with the NHS – we could probably afford one round of treatment privately, but that would require taking on debts.
I can tell you that with my blog you will see an open and honest woman, but I am not good with confrontation, so it is unlikely I will be offending anyone anytime soon. You will read about infertility treatment, infertility research, dealing with emotions, what it is like as a Brit living in the US and maybe I might talk about what has got my goat that day. However, I can be very emotional – although I am an analyst by profession, I apply emotion to my research – what I really mean is that, yes – I am a scientist, but I’m more of a social scientist, so I tend to challenge the statistics and look for other explanations, I don’t like to follow ‘the algorithm’. Although I do LOVE a good chart or stat. Seriously, I have a mug at work that says “I love Spreadsheets”, some of my military colleagues think I’m a big geek. I also like learning and trying new things, although friends who have known us for a lot longer will tell you that we have been less adventurous over the last 2 years than we ordinarily are, but this is one of the sad effects of infertility.
Why am I here?
Blogging gives me a sense of off loading the whirlwind of thoughts that infertility brings to a couple. But I have discovered something far more valuable – a community of like-minded bloggers who support and care for each other. Sure you can find support in forums, but there is something longer lasting about blogging – a personal insight into an incredible journey and a deeper level of love and support.
My blog has also provided an avenue for friends and family to keep up-to-date with our journey, we have opened up a level of awareness to people who had no idea what infertility entails, and this will continue to be another goal of mine. Infertility is not a dirty word, it is nothing to be ashamed of – yes it hurts so so much, but it can hurt a lot less with the love and understanding from those around you. I have experienced this myself. This is why my blog is open to everyone and anyone who wants to understand. Please follow, and please comment – I am always open to alternative views, ideas and suggestions!