Who am I and why am I here?

My very first blog post was written at 5AM, almost 9 months ago.  One early weekend morning I just couldn’t get back to sleep.  I had so many thoughts whirling around in my head, it hurt a lot.  You see I was facing a mountain, I was just starting my journey to join the great pudding club under difficult circumstance, my journey to overcome infertility.  After I had written my ideas down in that blog post, my head felt calmer, clearer – I felt free.  I re-read my first published post to myself over and over again.  My first post was entitled: “The Beginning?  Or the Beginning of the End?” There was something comforting about seeing the words on the screen as I felt a huge relief begin to slip off my shoulders.

It was no longer a secret that Chris and I were struggling to get pregnant.

But WHO AM I?

Starting with the basics, I am a 32 year old Brit living in Virginia, USA.  I moved here with my husband Chris after we decided we would like to try living abroad before settling down with children.  So I applied for a job with a 3 year contract, and here we are!! 2 years and 9 months later, now with the offer of a permanent contract in our hands, we have decided to stay for a little bit longer.

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We are not done with the USA just yet, Chris and I both have good jobs and we still have a lot of America to see.  A big part of our decision to stay longer is that my job offers excellent insurance coverage, including amazing infertility coverage.  If we returned back to the UK, we would have to wait a long time to receive IVF treatment with the NHS – we could probably afford one round of treatment privately, but that would require taking on debts.

I can tell you that with my blog you will see an open and honest woman, but I am not good with confrontation, so it is unlikely I will be offending anyone anytime soon.  You will read about infertility treatment, infertility research, dealing with emotions, what it is like as a Brit living in the US and maybe I might talk about what has got my goat that day.  However, I can be very emotional – although I am an analyst by profession, I apply emotion to my research – what I really mean is that, yes – I am a scientist, but I’m more of a social scientist, so I tend to challenge the statistics and look for other explanations, I don’t like to follow ‘the algorithm’.  Although I do LOVE a good chart or stat.  Seriously, I have a mug at work that says “I love Spreadsheets”, some of my military colleagues think I’m a big geek.  I also like learning and trying new things, although friends who have known us for a lot longer will tell you that we have been less adventurous over the last 2 years than we ordinarily are, but this is one of the sad effects of infertility.

Why am I here?

Blogging gives me a sense of off loading the whirlwind of thoughts that infertility brings to a couple.  But I have discovered something far more valuable – a community of like-minded bloggers who support and care for each other.  Sure you can find support in forums, but there is something longer lasting about blogging – a personal insight into an incredible journey and a deeper level of love and support.

My blog has also provided an avenue for friends and family to keep up-to-date with our journey, we have opened up a level of awareness to people who had no idea what infertility entails, and this will continue to be another goal of mine.  Infertility is not a dirty word, it is nothing to be ashamed of – yes it hurts so so much, but it can hurt a lot less with the love and understanding from those around you.  I have experienced this myself.  This is why my blog is open to everyone and anyone who wants to understand.  Please follow, and please comment – I am always open to alternative views, ideas and suggestions!

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14 thoughts on “Who am I and why am I here?

  1. ashleykyleanderson says:

    I loved reading this and looking back to your very first post. I so appreciate how open and honest you have been throughout this journey, and I have enjoyed getting to know you over these last several months. You are such a beautiful person inside & out, and your friendship and support has meant so much to me!

    I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow and hoping that you get some answers and reassurance. xx

    Like

    • thegreatpuddingclubhunt says:

      This post was part of a ‘blogging101 course’ where I had to introduce myself to the world, looking back to the beginning was kind of nice!! Thank you so much for being part of my journey 🙂 I have a few more answers now – basically I am pretty much in the clear from ectopic! Yippeeee!!! But sad news at same time that I started to miscarry last night 😦 But in context, it is all a relief.

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  2. Nara says:

    You are one of my very favourite bloggers! I think it’s the combo of no nonsense Britishness and the expat life in my favourite country. 🙂 Thanks for sharing a bit of your life with us. I love the way you always give the explanations and stats – it appeals to the scientist in me. And I think it’s awesome how you’re raising awareness of infertility. You’re right – it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I wish we talked about it more but it’s people like you who are opening up the conversations! Thinking of you and sending British hugs. 🙂

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  3. JillShakespeare says:

    You are truly one of the most inspirational people i have ever known. I think you’re utterly wonderful and totally ace (ok enough slushiness!) I dont have any great wisdom or comment since yours is the only blog i read, but i have to say its brilliant and i love reading about your life (its like getting one of those nice little army letters!) I think its fantastic how you’re raising awareness of infertility, you’re bang on hon, there’s no shame in it and we should talk about it more, but sometimes i think people feel that they dont want to mention it and upset/enrage you and equally, from my personal perspective, since i cant wave my magic wand (dammit!) and make everything perfect you feel that anything you say will be so utterly fruitless and almost patronising (which is clearly NOT the intention!) when really all I want to do is give you a big fat hug and say ‘hang in there babe’. so sending you big fat hug and hoping you get some answers soon! big huuuuge love xxx

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    • thegreatpuddingclubhunt says:

      Awww pure slush – my lovely. I understand now that some people don’t want to upset me, raise it, ask questions or just unintentionally say the wrong thing but I think this is just normal – and I’m cool with that. Thank you for understanding, and thank you for wanting to understand and be a part of our journey. Miss you lots x

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  4. Anamarie says:

    The best part about blogging is the community! Love your blog and love that you and so many others are sharing their stories and struggles, not only because it is informative to those “outside” this experience but because it serves as inspiration and comfort to those going through the same. It’s a brave thing to do, sharing.

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  5. 30yr old nothing says:

    Finally catching up on blogs. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. All the best with the upcoming appointment with your regular doctor. I don’t think you were crazy to say no.
    … and I love spreadsheets too. I’m playing in one right now 🙂

    Thinking of you! xx

    Like

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