A letter to my Infertile Friends

Dear Infertile Friend,

I am sorry I started this letter with “Dear ‘Infertile’ Friend”.  I am sorry I labelled you ‘Infertile’, because if there is any one single wish I had in the world, it wouldn’t be ‘I wish I was pregnant with my child’, it would be ‘I wish there was no such thing as infertility’.  I do not wish infertility upon even my worst enemy.  Infertility is not a label, and it doesn’t define you, so I am so so sorry I started this letter in this way.  But….I am differentiating you from my non-infertile friends because you have given me something my non-fertile friends are unable to.  This letter is to say thank you.  Thank you for helping me get to where I am today, yes I am still empty arms, but I am stronger now than I was when I started this winding, mountainous path called infertility.

It doesn’t matter where you are in your infertility journey, you have given me something that has made me stronger.  Whether you have just discovered you are less than fertile, going through medicated treatment, IUIs, IVF, surrogacy, donor eggs/sperm/embryos, adoption, child-free living, pregnant after treatment or living with your rainbow baby – you have amazed me.

To those who have shared with me their intimate stories of struggles, pain and, most importantly – light, you have inspired me to stay strong on my path.  Whether you shared just a brief snapshot into your life or have shared every minute of every step of the way – it has all added up to how I feel today.  Stronger with you in my life.

My friend, you have layed open your heart on the table, exposed it, allowed it to be vulnerable just so you could help me understand what lay ahead of me – so I could prepare for the good, the bad and the damn right ugly.

Please do not underestimate the power of your voice and how it has touched me.  I can’t measure it – but just know that it has.

Thank you,

Your Infertile Friend X

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