Just when you thought it was safe

If you have read my earlier post from today, you will know I was waiting for my hCG results, my doctor was expecting to see a drop or at least a similar level because I have bled so much since Monday.

I got the call at 2.15pm, my doctor said ‘Your levels have increased again to 3200 (from 2600 yesterday), I want you to take the methotrexate.  There has to be something growing somewhere other than your uterus.  When can you come in?’.

Fortunately Chris was with me because he was working from home, so we were out of the house and on the road to the fertility clinic.  We had to stop by the pharmacy to pick up the methotrexate.  The pharmacy was in a children’s hospital.  I joke with you not.  The pharmacy was having problems processing my insurance details, so we waited about 45 minutes.  Babies and children EVERYWHERE.  It was a very cruel joke.  Then to top it all off, it turns out my insurance wasn’t going to cover it.  Well – using methotrexate to effectively abort a pregnancy is an off label use of the drug.  Duh.  Of course my insurance wasn’t going to cover it.  Fortunately, the pharmacist used a coupon and it only cost us $23.

Finally we arrive at our clinic, drug in hand.  When 5 doctors are telling you to take the methotrexate, it’s time to listen.  If my hCG levels got any higher I would not have been eligible to take the drug and surgery would have been my only alternative option.  We are not completely out of the clear…the drug is effective only 90% of the time.  In 7 days time we find out if it actually worked – and of course I’m still on ‘ectopic rupture watch’ until then.

One of the doctors injected the drug into my buttock muscle…honestly, all I was thinking was – can’t a nurse do it?  Only because he asked where I would like it to be injected arm muscle or butt muscle (nice to have the choice!), we decided on butt muscle – he then turned to my doc to ask where would be a good place on the butt!  This was the point I was nervous!! But I think it had to be the doctor injecting it – I don’t really know.  It was painless compared to progesterone butt injections, the needle was a lot smaller though.

Methotrexate comes with a long list of side effects…I am already experiencing two of them (though these should only last about 24 hours and are relatively normal) – tiredness and nausea – they hit me about 3 hours after I was given the injection.  I won’t list the things I have to watch out for as a side effect, they can easily be found by googling ‘methoretexate ectopic pregnancy’.

We are truly gutted this had to be our course of action, but it seems to be the safest considering the large unknown growing inside me 😦

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31 thoughts on “Just when you thought it was safe

  1. My Perfect Breakdown says:

    I am so incredibly sorry. Remember to be kind to yourself and Chris too (I never understood what this meant when doctors said this to me, but now, I kind of get it – don’t blame yourself THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, eat ice cream if you want to, maybe book a weekend away in a few weeks to reconnect with each other, sleep in, etc.) Sending you love my friend.

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    • thegreatpuddingclubhunt says:

      Thank you – It is hard to be kind to yourself…little niggling thoughts of what if keep popping up. I don’t think those ever go away, but we are definitely working hard at eating ourselves out of this sadness 🙂 we are eating the house out of chocolate, biscuits and ice cream and we are going on hols in 2 weeks time…hopefully! So glad we have something to keep us sane for now!

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  2. lyra211 says:

    Aw, crap, I’m so sorry you had to go through this. It’s great that your doctors were playing it safe, and you’re totally right that when five doctors are telling you the same thing you should probably listen, but it still sucks. And the pharmacy wait is just the icing on the cake, isn’t it? 😦 Here’s hoping you’re part of the 90% and that you get to move on from this nightmare soon.

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    • thegreatpuddingclubhunt says:

      Although my doctor changed her mind, I am grateful that she cared enough to reconsider it. Obviously something wasn’t quite right in her mind, and she was right in the end 😦 Suppose that is why they get paid the big bucks!

      Eughhh – yes the pharmacy in the kids hospital was a killer, I think I did well to only burst into tears once when I was there. Something I didn’t mention was that Chris had words with them after we had been waiting for 40 minutes and mentioned why we were getting the drug, and suddenly all the staff got working on finding a solution to the insurance problem. AND, I must admit, the hospital was beautiful inside with an underwater sea theme – really nice for the kids, plus it wasn’t just babies and young kids, there were teenager cancer sufferers walking around, which was very grounding when everything is put in context – my life isn’t that bad.

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  3. ashleykyleanderson says:

    I can’t believe this… I am just in total shock. I’m sure that you must be feeling completely traumatized at this point, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’ll be praying that this shot does what you need it to do and also for strength and comfort for both you & Chris. All I keep thinking about is how your family must wish that they could be with you right now… I know you haven’t been here all that long but I do hope you have good friends who can come around and support you. If not (and I know this probably sounds crazy), please let me know if I can help you in some way. I can’t drive at the moment because I’m still working on getting a valid license since moving, but I should have one in a couple days and I’m within a couple hours from you. I’m sure it feels awkward to say yes (I hate asking for help), but please keep it in mind, okay? xx

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    • thegreatpuddingclubhunt says:

      You know, that is exactly what my mum said to me, and how much she wishes she could give me a big cuddle. This is definitely one of the downsides to being an expat 😐 But we are very lucky to have some lovely friends here, I will admit that we only have a couple of friends who would drop anything for us, but because I was open with this on facebook I have been overwhelmed with offers of love and support – you are a lovely selfless angel for offering to help us out 🙂 Honestly, we have hidden ourselves away for the past few days – but this weekend that ends.

      I still find the whole driving license thing here very confusing!!! We have to get our license renewed every year because of our visas, and each time we go there is some new ‘rule’ about issuing them!! Hope you get yours sorted soon, you must feel ‘trapped’ without being able to drive (well I would here because public transport is so terrible)??!

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  4. Anamarie says:

    I can’t even imagine the shock and frustration you must be experiencing. I am so, so sorry that you’re going through this nightmare. It’s so unfair, you don’t even get the opportunity to begin to process one part of this loss before something else rears back and demands your attention. I am so hoping this begins to pass more quickly and smoothly so you can start recovering physically, emotionally, psychologically. Thinking of you all the time!

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  5. notpregnantinrezza says:

    I’m really sorry that you are going through this. I hope the side-effects are bearable and you don’t have any further complications. This prolonging of your situation is so unfair. I hope that you have all that you need to grieve and heal now xx

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