Yesterday I talked in quite some depth about our goal to become parents and how we are struggling with infertility with someone who lives child free by choice. He is a very direct and to the point person (He is German after all and told me that there is no word in German for ‘Polite’ – he’s a funny guy). So, I tried not to be offended by his probing about why we want children. He wasn’t trying to convince me that we shouldn’t have children like him and his wife, but he was pointing everything out about the benefits of being child free.
And now as I write this, although he was probing, blunt and direct about his thoughts and questions, I wonder if actually he was ultimately being kind and thoughtful to me. He was trying to tell me why being child free is a good thing, he was telling me it’s OK if we don’t succeed at this. Life without a son or daughter of our own is not going to be the end of the world. He explained to me how their decisions have ebbed and flowed over time. Although at first I was pretty uncomfortable talking about why Chris and I are ‘chasing’ fertility treatment, it was refreshing to listen to a different point of view.
He hasn’t changed my mind, but I thought it came at an interesting time, particularly after some of my recent blog posts have mentioned living child free (The childless analyst, The Uncertain Future of the World, Sorry, but being a mother is not the most important job in the world).