Methotrexate Side Effects

September 14, 2015September 14, 201510 Comments

I am just over 72hrs past my first methotrexate injection. I have definitely noticed the side effects, but so far they have not been as bad as I thought.

Over the first 24hrs I felt nauseous and had a very dry mouth despite drinking lots – apparently this is very normal. My bleeding also stopped – not what I was expecting. Since those first 24 hrs, the nausea has continued 😦 I have spotted on and off (no more need for a pad, just a thin panty liner). I have been super tired, but have been sleeping deeply – a silver lining I guess. Last night I had weird pin-point pupils, Chris noticed them and so I looked in the mirror and absolutely freaked out. With a quick google, it looks like it could be the painkillers that did that, so I am not keen on taking those anymore! Pain has been bearable with pain killers – acetaminophen extra strong (NSAIDs like Ibuprofren are not good with the methotrexate), but the pain has been different to when I first started miscarrying where it felt like the worst period cramps, the pain I am experiencing now is short sharp bursts around my ovaries, but not constant. Each time I get a short sharp burst of pain I hold my breathe (not literally) as I hope there is nothing crazy going on down there with a burst tube.

Apparently with methotrexate, the deed starts to kick in after 72 hrs, so I am hoping that tomorrow morning my hCG levels have begun to drop.

Emotionally, I have only broken down in tears three times – an average of once per day I believe is not bad going. The things that upset the most is thinking about how for particular very short moments I actually believed this was a viable pregnancy and talked about the ‘may be’ and ‘what ifs’. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking like that. Having said all that, I don’t think those thoughts are going to go away anytime soon. So we have been focusing on our road trip out West, it helps a lot to re-focus the mind. I think I am ready to go back to work tomorrow – I hope so, I’ve got a meeting in Stockholm to prepare for! (that is if my doctor lets me fly :-s )

PS. I have got to the point that I am not sure what category to post this under – ectopic pregnancy, suspected ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, part of IVF vol I???? I just hate not knowing if this was actually ectopic or not, they had no visible proof of where the pregnancy was and it frustrates the hell out of me – I think I will put it under feelings for now and figure it out later. I wonder what the doctors call this?

A letter to my Infertile Friends

September 11, 20158 Comments

Dear Infertile Friend,

I am sorry I started this letter with “Dear ‘Infertile’ Friend”. I am sorry I labelled you ‘Infertile’, because if there is any one single wish I had in the world, it wouldn’t be ‘I wish I was pregnant with my child’, it would be ‘I wish there was no such thing as infertility’. I do not wish infertility upon even my worst enemy. Infertility is not a label, and it doesn’t define you, so I am so so sorry I started this letter in this way. But….I am differentiating you from my non-infertile friends because you have given me something my non-fertile friends are unable to. This letter is to say thank you. Thank you for helping me get to where I am today, yes I am still empty arms, but I am stronger now than I was when I started this winding, mountainous path called infertility.

It doesn’t matter where you are in your infertility journey, you have given me something that has made me stronger. Whether you have just discovered you are less than fertile, going through medicated treatment, IUIs, IVF, surrogacy, donor eggs/sperm/embryos, adoption, child-free living, pregnant after treatment or living with your rainbow baby – you have amazed me.

To those who have shared with me their intimate stories of struggles, pain and, most importantly – light, you have inspired me to stay strong on my path. Whether you shared just a brief snapshot into your life or have shared every minute of every step of the way – it has all added up to how I feel today. Stronger with you in my life.

My friend, you have layed open your heart on the table, exposed it, allowed it to be vulnerable just so you could help me understand what lay ahead of me – so I could prepare for the good, the bad and the damn right ugly.

Please do not underestimate the power of your voice and how it has touched me. I can’t measure it – but just know that it has.

Thank you,

Your Infertile Friend X

No results today….

August 25, 2015August 25, 201512 Comments

Before work this morning I went for my second beta test.

There was a new nurse helping out my favourite nurse.

My results have not materialised today. The chief nurse called me at 1700 to tell me she has not seen them yet and she will make sure someone calls me tomorrow.

Coincidence?

I mean, how often does this happen???

My twisted mind thought of an alternative once it had gone past 4pm and the reason that I had not yet received a phone call, was that my results have come back not good and the doctor wasn’t there to give me the news with a way ahead. Why am I so paranoid about this? Well over the last few days my symptoms have pretty much disappeared. OK so I know it is early still….but…..I took a test again last night because I was just not feeling right about it all…and the line looked much fainter than the other one BUT they are different brands so I probably shouldn’t really compare. However it was pretty faint and I would have thought my line be darker by now?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….I bet the new nurse messed it up and I am worrying all for NOTHING.

Liebster Award

August 25, 2015August 25, 201516 Comments

Many thanks to Womb for Rent for this award!!! (you can check her out here: https://healthywomb4rent.wordpress.com/)

About the Liebster Award: It is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. The meaning Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. Liebster was created to discover new bloggers and welcome them to the blogosphere.

Rules:

Once you are nominated, make a post thanking and linking the person who nominated you. Include the Liebster Award sticker in the post too.

Nominate 5-10 other bloggers who you feel are worthy of this award. Let them know they have been nominated by commenting on one of their posts. You can also nominate the person who nominated you.

Ensure all these bloggers have less than 200 followers.

Answer the eleven questions asked to you by the person who nominated you, and make eleven questions of your own or your nominees or you may use the same questions. Lastly, COPY these rules in the post.

My nominations:

The secret life of Emily Maine: https://thesecretlifeofemilymaine.wordpress.com/

I love Emily’s blog because she tells it like it is. Emily has been having a tough time of it recently, and yet she is still able to inspire me with how she deal’s with some of the crap that has been thrown her way. I imagine Emily probably has over 200 hundred followers anyway, but what the hell!

Meet the Hopefuls: http://meetthehopefuls.com/

Heather and Chris BOTH write blog posts…I love that about this blog, infertility is not always just about one person. I am so hopeful for them that this cycle & soon to be transfer will be THE one.

From Zero to Zygote: https://zerotozygote.wordpress.com/

Nara is a fabulous writer, she is another very open and honest blogger. I really enjoy her posts, they are not always about infertility. Nara is navigating the world of infertility in the UK so her points of view can be a bit different too.

Disorderly Love: https://disorderlylove.wordpress.com/

Cesilee is an absolute sweetie. Life has thrown her a whole box of lemons, and her blog shows just how she has turned them right into lemonade. She is also another woman who just tells it like it is. (I am sensing a pattern here 😉 )

My womb to rent nominated some of my favourite other bloggers already….so you should go check out their blogs too: https://healthywomb4rent.wordpress.com/2015/08/18/liebster-award/

The questions I have been given:

1. Who or what inspires you the most?

Actually, it is my husband – Chris who inspires me. He is not just my husband, but my best friend. Chris is always trying new things, sometimes even in the face of adversity (even though on occasion I wish he would finish the last thing he started!!) His desire to do things differently makes me want to follow him and push myself to new levels I wouldn’t be at today without that.

2. Who is your hero?

I don’t really have a hero, I have ‘heroes of the day’, which I will mentally note as being someone who on that day has saved my ass, or inspirationally put themselves out there in the face of danger. These are typically my friends, family and sometimes my colleagues. They don’t know that I call them my hero, but I do :-p

3. What is your proudest accomplishment?

Ummmm, OK so it is work related…but it is a personal achievement too because I faced some quite stressful times I had to overcome. I was awarded the ‘Member of the Order of the British Empire’, also known as an MBE, for my services in support of military operations (my deployments to Afghanistan). I am very privileged to have even been nominated for this honour, let alone receive it!!! My medal was ‘pinned’ by Prince Charles at Buckingham Palace…as you can see from the photo with him I was grinning ear to ear like a Cheshire cat!! My parents and Chris were allowed to watch and I met some amazing people the day I was honoured. I was probably the youngest person there at the ceremony, although it is not uncommon for young people to be awarded, I felt so lucky!!!

Not really sure what I was giggling about with the Prince at this point!!

The Official ‘pose’ with my medal! It’s quite a beautiful beast that will probably only come out of its box for parades.

4. What did you want to be (as a grown up) when you were little?

A chef!!!! Which then later turned into a food scientist….but then my school wouldn’t let me study science at A-Levels (16-18 yrs) it’s a long story, but let’s just my aspirations of this ended when I was 14 😦

5. What are your hobbies?

Being outdoors! hiking, rock climbing (I miss climbing a lot since we have been TTC-ing) I really enjoy baking when I make time for it. Some day when I am older I will own my own tea shop that will sell giant home made cakes and people will come just for the cake. I love learning new things, so I tend to have something going on where I am teaching myself something new.

6. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?

Claire Danes – she is so lovely and talented.

7. Do you collect anything?

I have a habit of keeping souvenirs, tickets, cards and brochures of places we visit which will eventually end up in my ‘memory box’….OK so I have lots of memory boxes taking up space right now. I just can’t bear to get rid of them. I like going through them may be once a year when we do a clean out.

8. What is your favorite family recipe?

I’m sorry, I don’t have one!!!

9. If you had a warning label, what would it say?

Danger – May Hiccup Unexpectedly!

Since I returned from Iraq in 2007 I have had these random little hiccups that appear from no-where. Sometimes people think I am sneezing and will ‘bless me’. I can almost control the hiccup if I am in a meeting, but it takes a lot of effort, so if I know a group of people I will just hiccup very loudly….may be only once or twice. Even Chris still laughs at my outbursts of hiccups. I don’t know why it happens, it could be a sign of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but that could just be co-incidence. The other option was brain tumour, but seeing as I am still alive today, it is probably not a brain tumour!

10. What is your favorite family tradition?

I am going to answer this as ‘What is your least favourite family tradition?’. At Christmas time, my mum has a desire to play a ‘hand bells’ game where each person is given two numbered bells to ring when their number is called out. Basically this means that a tune is played by bells. It is the worst game ever. #SorryNotSorryMum

11. What is the one thing you will never do again?

Go back to Iraq (unless I am called up in my reservist capacity then I won’t have a choice, but I will find every way to avoid going back there!!)

The questions for those I nominate are:

If a genie came along and offered you one wish to become what you ever you like to be and you were given all the relevant knowledge, training and qualifications tomorrow, what career would you choose?
What is your favourite colour and why?
What is your party trick?
What is your favourite hobby?
If I gave you a plane ticket to anywhere – where would you go?
What is your favourite film?
What helps you get out of a funk?
If you could write a letter now to your past teenage self – what piece of advice would you give to yourself?
If you could only eat one type of ood for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What three things would you take to a desert island with you?

What is cautiously optimistic?

August 20, 2015August 20, 201549 Comments

What do people mean when they say they are cautiously optimistic? According to the Macmillan dictionary it is defined as:

Hopeful about something, but recognising the problems involved.

I think to describes nicely how I have felt about trying to conceive since we decided to make the leap towards becoming parents.

I also like this image – they say a picture paints a thousand words. Sometimes it has felt like there is a storm out there and our umbrella is going to be whipped away, but most of the time it is just like this picture.

Cautious optimism represented by an image

But for me – this picture paints accurately what cautious optimism looks like for me right now…

Two pink lines

Yes, my dear friends, this is my blue sky approaching! I took a pregnancy test the night before my beta blood test. I was very spontaneous about it. Chris came home from work, he sat down and said “So…injection or test first?”. He threw me off guard because I had been so good at not thinking about using a home pregnancy test, it was just a surprise he said it so nonchalantly. I laughed nervously and exclaimed…”No! Don’t be silly you have to wait!”. And to that, I decided spontaneously to dash upstairs and pee on the one first response home pregnancy test I had left in a drawer. It took seconds for that second pink line to appear, it appeared before I even had a chance to put it down on the work surface. Well that was not what I was expecting! So I left it next to the sharps box for Chris to see when he would start preparing my injection for the evening. I dashed back downstairs (it had only been 2 minutes) Chris had no clue what I had just done. And so we started the ritual of the progesterone injection. We went upstairs with everything needed and I lay down on the bed as if preparing myself for the injection….when Chris shouted out from the bathroom – “hey there is a pregnancy test here??” in a very confused manner. After a second or two of blank face, he almost cried, hugged and kissed me. We talked about how it was not guaranteed and we will find out the next day if this was for real or not. So we decided not to tell my poor mum who was downstairs at the time – oblivious to what was going on!!!

The next morning, my mum and I went to the clinic for my beta blood test. The nurse asked me if I had taken a test yet…I looked at her and smiled…and the nurse said ‘yey!!!’. I was busted – mum had overheard the nurse ask….so I had to tell her what had happened the night before!

And so I waited for the phone call from my doctor. When I saw the number pop up on my phone I took a big breathe. It was actually not my doctor but one of the other doctors who had been doing my ultrasounds. I answered and she said “So….do you feel pregnant?” (What a weird way to start a phone call!!!) I said “maaaaaaybe…..” nervously wondering if this was a cruel joke! And she said “Yes! Yes you are pregnant!!! Your numbers are great…..you need to keep taking the progesterone and estrogen…we probably want to see you again next week for another test….blah blah blah” (-is all I heard after that!) So that was that.

We are pregnant!

Can I put my umbrella away yet? Of course not. Some people may read this and think I am ungrateful or maybe even conceited, but they probably are people who do not understand what infertility can do to the mind. I’m not sure at what point in this process I will take ‘Congratulations’ with a smile. Please understand that I appreciate your kind thoughts and sentiment, I know you are really excited for us….just don’t worry if I don’t respond with an excited smile. Getting a positive pregnancy result after IVF is an awesome step in the right direction, I feel so lucky that we have got this far, but I can’t get excited about having a baby just yet.

I am cautiously optimistic about this exciting step…I’m just hoping it isn’t a false summit.

In sickness and in health

August 14, 20151 Comment

The day before my egg retrieval we decided to culture ourselves by going to the Chrysler Museum of Art…it is a fabulous free art museum. We have been twice now and still haven’t been round the whole museum. My favourite part is the glass art. I studied art and sculpture at school up to A-Level so I like to think I have a reasonable appreciation for art forms. It was a mini exhibition in the glass section that intrigued me the most – entitled: In Sickness and In Health. Sounds like something from a set of wedding vows, right??! Hmmmm. Here is a peek at the artist’s main exhibit:

Beveryly Fishman: In Sickness and In Health at the Chrysler Museum

I was enamoured by it. Why? Because it represents the world of modern medicine very well. I didn’t take photos of the side exhibits, but they were intriguing too. It is meant to be a ‘playful yet provocative commentary on the world of modern medicine’. As I looked closer at the glass pills I began to understand what she was trying to represent…the bright colours and bold patterns of the pills are supposed to alert us to the complicated relationship between a $500 BILLION pharmaceutical industry and our yearning for good health. The exaggerated sizes of the pills aim to point towards the excess of the industry with aggressive marketing tactics to promote various medications to the sick AND healthy. I realised as I stood there with my big fat bubbling ovaries weighing me down from all the recent injections that looking into the reflection of these giant glass pills, this was part of ME.

$7700 our IVF medication cost for just one round of treatment. (I know we can buy it a whole lot cheaper…I compared it to the cost in the UK). The artist says that when you look in the reflections of certain glass pills you will see a distorted mirroring ‘evoking the complex connections between chemical substances and our own self-awareness’. I want my own biological child THIS much…I am willing to inject and consume $7700 worth of medication despite the fact that I am not actually SICK. But then again, I have a disease, it’s called infertility, I guess that makes me sick officially, I just don’t feel SICK. But the doctors don’t know what is making me SICK and so we are trying everything possible to overcome it. Do I have a distorted view of our situation?

I put a lot of trust in the doctors and the medication we are using…I mean have you seen the whole list of disclaimers on those medicines???!!! Here in the US there are lots of adverts for drugs on TV and radio, and they have to legally state what possible side effects are, and sometimes these disclaimers go on for 2 whole minutes usually ending up with – may cause every disease under the sun – oh and don’t forget death. We just don’t have this form of advertising in the UK, so it is odd and I always wonder why anyone would ever take the drugs that are being advertised if there is a chance of death. Some of the drugs I am using are known to increase the risk of various cancers, including ovarian and breast cancer. I am willing to accept those (admittedly teeny tiny) risks to have my own child. But to what extent will I keep doing this – pumping chemicals and hormones into my body? How much is too much? When do we stop? When is enough, enough?

The museum critique concludes with a poignant question about the exhibition:

Is this culture of chemistry making us healthy or is it creating an ‘Artificial Paradise’?

When is enough, enough?

IVF DIARY VOL I: 17 – 21 JULY 2015

July 22, 2015July 22, 2015Leave a comment

Medication(s) administered and dosage(s). Nil (the quiet before the storm??!)

Medical procedures undertaken. Nil

How do I feel today? Woohoo!! I took my last birth control pill yesterday, so I’m feeling excited!

I am on week 7 of my sugar and simple carbs ban. I’ve done pretty well and have allowed myself just one small treat each week which has kept me motivated (although last night we did have white pasta :-s whoops). I even bought dunkin donuts for everyone at work today and I had not one bite of them! Wow, I was drooling over their delicious smell. I have struggled over the last week or so with sugar cravings. I’ve never had cravings like this…it got to the point that I even imagined there was a tiny piece of chocolate in the sink when in fact it was just a piece of cat food. I was hallucinating about all things super sugary, in particular Krispy Kreme donuts. I was literally salivating over the cookies at my work cafe and imagining the way that they would crisp and crunch in my mouth, with the chocolate chips still slightly melted as they just came out of the oven. Was it the Birth Control Pills that did this to me? Or my addiction to sugar. I really can’t quite tell.

Work is a bit stressful as I am trying to fit a lot in so I can take time off required for the IVF appointments, plus a bunch of other factors that are out of my hands are probably contributing to the stress. I probably have piled a lot of that stress on myself, but I can’t help but be a perfectionist; sometimes I have to stop and ask myself – is anybody going to die if I don’t do this work? When I answer with no, then I remind myself to step away.

What are my symptoms? The spotting finally stopped just as it was time to stop the birth control pills. I took just 13 pills in all, and the nurse told me to stop take my last on yesterday in preparation for my first day of stimulation injectibles scheduled for this Friday 24th Jul. I am not sure if I will get a period over the next few days, so I shall await with a pad/tampon to hand just in case :-s

How does Chris feel today? Chris feels like work has distracted him from the build up to our upcoming IVF. It worries him a little bit because he thinks he might not be paying close enough attention to his true feelings. But he did tell me that he is excited to be starting, but nervous all at the same time, particularly at the notion of stabbing me with the needles. (Yep, you and me both hon ;-p !!)

Any results? Nil

What’s next? Our first appointment with the clinic to start the IVF cycle is scheduled for Friday morning, we have been told to anticipate spending about 3 hours there to get a baseline ultrasound, blood tests, fill out paper work, pay them lots of money – I hope they take my credit card (thinking of all the extra points!!!).

Weight. Overall, the Birth Control Pills did not cause me to put on weight. After tracking for 18 days straight (first time I have ever done this) I can see that I have a bit of up and down cycles as I eat more at the weekends and less during the week. But looking at my rolling average, I have not put on weight. Yippeee! But I have a good baseline set of measurements now prior to stimulation to closely monitor the effects.

Waist. NSTR

Boobs. NSTR

Hours of Sunshine 🙂 I got in several hours of sunshine this weekend, just before we had a huuuuge storm that crapped the hell out of me…the lightening, thunder and winds were extreme, I wasn’t sure we were about to face a tornado. Our neighbour’s tree fell down on their house and the neighbourhood flooded, fortunately this is the reason we all have raised houses.

My stats to date

*Notes. I take First Response Reproductive Health multi vitamin gummies (pre-natal) and CoQ10 200mg gummies daily. NSTR = Nothing Significant To Report.

Reflections on the future – using someone else’s ten lessons learned on Infertility

June 28, 2015June 28, 20154 Comments

A friend of mine recently sent me a link to a Huffington Post Article “Ten things I would tell my past self about infertility”, written by Kathryn Kefauver Goldberg (she has written other posts too). Not only was it an interesting article, but my friend told me “I can be your number 9”. Number 9 in the list of ten things was:

9. Find one person to whom you can talk uncensored. Check in with yourself about what and who feels good. This might be a friend, a counselor, a support group — anyone who can support you unconditionally and isn’t invested in the outcome.

Well of course, my friend already is my number 9 🙂 I’ve got this one nailed already! So what about the other 9 suggestions in the list of Ms Goldberg’s lessons learned?

1. Recognise that the limbo of infertility puts you in an impossible situation. This is something we are totally dealing with right now, with the added limbo on whether we stay in the US or move back to Europe. Fortunately, one of those limbos has been taken away – I have been offered an indefinite contract, so I don’t have to leave the US in December! We have choices. But we don’t have choices when it comes to whether we get pregnant or not! So we are handling it OK right now, better than last week. We will just take one to two weeks at a time. It’s pretty hard work on the abdominal muscles all this limbo business, but you get a good work out, and your muscles only get stronger as time goes on.

2. Feeling sadness will not define your path. I have had a pretty tough few weeks on this front, and I have questioned my ability at work, if I am coping. I even asked myself if I was depressed. I don’t believe I am depressed, but just sad. Being sad is OK. How do I know I am not depressed? Well I just googled it, and I am not depressed, I don’t fit the descriptions.

3. Define and honor your limits. Here Ms Goldberg talks about pressure to try everything on the medical front. It can be quiet easy to go far without questioning medical treatment, for example agreeing to ICSI, agreeing to freezing embryos, agreeing to participate in research etc. We have made sure we talk about it together, but I am not sure Chris and I have the same feelings on how far we go on our path. I think I will feel what I will feel, in the future and I can’t predict that right now, so I don’t want to put a maximum number of attempts, money or time on our path.

4. Listen to your doctor and trust your gut. I’m not very good at questioning a doctor, after all they are supposed to be the qualified ones, right? But I do get gut feelings about people and I have a positive gut feeling about our doctor, even if she seems a little crazy sometimes.

5. Have rote answers prepared for nosey questioners. I have talked about this on two occasions recently, but I think it depends on the situation. It’s a careful balance. This week I caught up with some friends I haven’t seen for a year, and I totally lied to them about what we are going through (I didn’t lie directly, I just avoided the opportune moment to talk about it) and I wish I had just been honest because I know they would have been great about it.

6. For every medical procedure you go through, find a soothing activity for your body. Ahhh a couple of massages I think might be scheduled. Maybe we need to think about this more.

7. Take care of your heart. This is more about protecting yourself from emotional overload moments, like going to baby showers. Well I have decided to tackle these head on. Infertility doesn’t define the me and the type of friend I want to be to my friends. I won’t let it, and it’s worked so far. I will take care of my heart, but I know Chris has got me on this one too. He’s like my cod liver oil or what ever is good for your heart – he is my added protection layer for my heart.

8. Invent a project. Well I have decided to take another online course starting in a week. This will be my project. It will be a useful distraction, I hope, rather than be an added stress.

…

10. It will be OK, though your definition of OK will change. I tell myself this a lot. Everything is going to be OK. And if I ever doubt this, all I need to do is listen to Chris’s playlist of movie’s all time greatest dramatic soundtracks, like the one below. And everything is going to be OK again. This is my future.

“You are so lucky you don’t have kids”

June 16, 2015June 16, 201512 Comments

Oh I have been itching to blog about this for a few days, but we have been out road tripping on a short break to Savannah, Georgia. We drove just over 1000 miles round trip and saw some wonderful things. But I will tell you a short story that really got my goat.

Our first night in Charleston, South Carolina we found ourselves a small smokehouse joint for dinner. We managed to find a relaxed type bar that had a short menu of BBQ meat, meat, oh and more meat. We ordered loaded duck fat fries and a typical Southern BBQ platter, and we were not disappointed. We were just about to roll ourselves out of the bar, when Chris bumped into another Brit, a man in his 50s. Oh not just any Brit, but a Brit who also lives where we live – 400 miles away! What were the chances of that? After the Brit introduced himself, we quickly noticed how drunk he was. He asked us many questions – where we were from, what we were doing, what did we do for a living, where we were from (wait – we already answered this one – but he was drunk so ….). He looked us over and asked if we had children. No, we both politely replied. “Oh you are lucky” he winked at us. Not cool. He then wanted us to meet his wife. So we went through the Spanish inquisition again…I was beginning to get a little annoyed at this stage. It’s nice to talk with other Brits about living in the US, but clearly it is not nice to talk to a drunk Brit, it can get a bit embarrassing when they shout across the bar all the annoying things about living in America. The Brit asked us once again if we had children, because he obviously had forgotten how ‘lucky’ we are. So once again we said we did not have children, and once again he proceeded to tell us that we were lucky. At least he was consistent in his ideas about having children. After another 5 minutes of this we attempted to make our escape….but they wanted to have dinner with us! Oh no. Just as we made our excuses, he started talking about how lucky we were to not have children again, and if he were us, we should not have them. So it was definitely time to leave.

As we left we both commented on how rude it was to say such a thing: ‘You are so lucky you don’t have kids’, especially to us, going through what we are going through right now. Even if we were not going through this, in my opinion it would still be a rude thing to say. Of course everyone is entitled to a different opinion. But the manner in which the opinion was conveyed was just plain rude.

Little did he know that later that evening I would be crying as my period started once again (unexpectedly – a very short 23 day cycle) and so no, I didn’t feel lucky in any shape or form and just felt like crap.

Reflecting upon this situation, looking past my anger at the rudeness of the Brit’s statement “You are so lucky you don’t have kids”, I just felt sad. Sad that this man would say such a thing to strangers not once, but three times, unprompted. Parenting is not easy, but I hope whatever issues he has had with his children in the past he can remember the good things about being a parent, the reward, the challenge, the sacrifice, the love and I hope the future holds something a little more positive for him.

The Cat’s Meow: Helping us through our infertility journey

June 9, 201513 Comments

I’m not sure what I would do without my two cats – Sushi and Diesel. These two feline friends have helped us along our journey through infertility. How? Well there are three main ways….

1. Stroking a cat has been scientifically proven to be therapeutic during stressful times. Although Diesel, our ‘terror-quisitive’ cat runs away if you were to approach him for strokes, but he will happily to come to you for strokes. Many strokes. In any shape or form. Very therapeutic. For both human and cat alike!

2. Cats like to help you read important books like “The IVF patient’ guide to IVF” or “It starts with the egg”. They want to make sure they are helping you every step of the way…

3. We can learn a thing or two from cats. For example, they help us to learn how to just chill out and take it easy. When things don’t go our way or we get a bit stressed, take a leaf from their book. Look – it’s easy!!! Just stretch, lay back and relax.