Two week wait fun times planning

After two years of trying to conceive unsuccessfully I reckon I am getting quite good at this two week wait malarky.  Admittedly, I’m a bit rusty at it.  So in light of my previous post where I declared my new year’s resolution: I will embrace time, I decided to start thinking about my next two week wait for IVF cycle 2.  Now, I know that I will not be doing anything ‘extreme’ or ‘partying like it’s 1999’….but that doesn’t mean I can’t plan for some fun! right??!

Evening Fun Activities (i.e. post work)

Self-Pampering – Mud mask, jacuzzi bubbles bath, trashy magazine, a bar of chocolate (something fancy like) cosy pyjamas and early to bed.

New food (2 nights) – Cook or bake something outrageously random for dinner that requires some new cooking skill!  Like working with pastry or something equally different.  Glug it down with a random new TV programme from Netflix or Amazon Prime. Sadly no alcohol to glug.

Fun with friends – hang out with friends, either invite them over for take-away (take-out) dinner or try somewhere new together.

Fun with family – I can’t really do this well, but I will spend some time writing a couple of letters to my family back in the UK.

Meet some new people – go to one of my local social and sports club nights, make an effort to be sociable!!!

Crafty and creative (2 nights) – do some knitting (including teach myself a new stitch and practice it), start/continue my new painting (it’s a secret what I am planning to paint!!!)

Date night with hubby – Trip to cinema or rent a DVD with lots and lots of popcorn and some BIG SNUGGLES.

Blog focus night – discover some new blogs and write a new blog post (perhaps from my collection of ideas I have left over from NaBloPoMo 15).

Weekend Fun Activities

Well there is potentially only one weekend I will need to keep busy for!

Road trip to Charlotte, North Carolina (to include going to a Basketball game, a walking tour, perhaps a nice meal out and a trip to Lemur Land on way back!!!!).  I am pretty excited about this road trip.  My Birthday present was tickets to see the Charlotte Hornets play the Washington Wanderers.  I don’t support any particular team, I just really wanted to see basketball game!!! It was perfectly planned by Chris.

I looked back at all my previous blog posts that were tagged with the 2 week wait (2WW)…I think the key for me is to keep myself busy, even if it means I am just ‘planning’ to relax and pamper 🙂

Ohhhh I should also mention that I have ZERO home pregnancy tests in the house!  I used them all up last time and did not replace them.  So no sneaky testing will be happening this time around!!!

Do you have any other tips for the 2WW?

IVF Diary Vol II: 29 Dec 15 – 3 Jan 16

Medication(s) administered and dosage(s). Ovulation Control Pill (OCP) Reclipsen 0.15MG-30MCG x 1 per day

Medical procedures undertaken. Nil

What are my symptoms? As per last time I took the Birth Control Pills, my period lasted a few days longer and I am still spotting.  It’s no biggy.  Especially as I know now that this is exactly what happened last time.  I also appreciate what some women go through who have more than 3 or 4 days of menstrual bleeding…I feel bad for you ladies!  I consider myself lucky that I don’t bleed for 7 days normally.  Today I had quite a heavy ‘spotting’ and had some sharp pains around my right ovary that I would ordinarily feel around ovulation time.  But a hot water bottle fixed that pain and now all is back to normal.

How do I feel today?  Chilled and relaxed.  That could be something to do with the fact that I have been off work for over a week!  With no travels this festive period, it had been true relaxation, probably more laziness more than anything.  But it’s back to work tomorrow, and despite the unknowns about what the year ahead will look like for me, I feel a bit excited to be starting with a fresh mind, ready for the start of my stim injections 15th Jan!  I am also really pleased I kept a diary from my first cycle….I can look back and read what happened so I have some kind of ‘objective’ truth to what happened.  I think it’s useful because it removes some of my anxieties about what to expect next!

My medication arrived on time…I decided to see how high I could stack up the boxes for this photograph 😉  It looks like a terrifying amount of medication!

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My meds for IVF cycle 2: Gonal-F, menopur, cetrotide, Ovidrel, progesterone in oil (generic), doxycycline

There are a couple more boxes extra compared to last time because they plan on upping the dosages a little.  It was interesting to see the differences in prices in the medication.  Not much, but some of them have gone up a few cents.  And every penny counts.  The lady at Freedom Fertility Pharmacy was very kind to ask if I needed to split my order or wait to the new year for my insurance in case it changed or I had reached my limit.  Fortunately, my insurance limit is ‘lifetime’ rather than a fixed time like every calendar year so it makes things very simple.    (I have also updated my ‘The $$ Lowdown’ page. – counting my blessings I have great insurance coverage for all of this)

Any results? NSTR*.

What’s next? Another week of Birth Control Pills, first baseline appointment is 14th Jan, so it’s all quiet until then.

Weight. I am 10lbs heavier than when I started my first IVF cycle.  Most of that extra weight is from after my miscarriage and Christmas.  I am going to be doing some more exercise, I am not getting too het up about it, I can still fit into my clothes, there are perhaps a few pairs of trousers I won’t be able to wear when it comes to the stimulation phase of IVF!  I will start tracking my weight like last time, but I haven’t bothered with a baseline weight prior to birth control pill.

Waist.  NSTR

Boobs. NSTR

Hours of Sunshine 🙂 For my first IVF cycle I recorded the amount of sunshine I soaked up.  It was summer.  This time, it is the deepest darkest time of winter, so getting sunshine is pretty difficult!  Having said that, we did get out onto the water to see some humpback whales.  The sunshine was glorious although the photo below you can’t quite tell how blue the sky was!

*Notes.  I take First Response Reproductive Health multi vitamin gummies (pre-natal) and CoQ10 200mg gummies daily.  NSTR = Nothing Significant To Report.

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A humpback whale blowing – at the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay

Time

Today I am reflecting on time.

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This week I turned 33 years old, and so I decided to celebrate all the threes, 33!  I had a few friends over for an afternoon tea party and we learned how to knit.  Yup….you may have been mistaken into thinking that I was actually having my 65th Birthday Party.  But haven’t you heard?  Knitting is totally hipster.

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This is how I imagined my friends and I to be like at my Birthday party.  Very Cool.

Thinking about turning 33 I realise that I am quickly heading towards 35.  Yeh, yeh, that is two years away.  But 35 is the age that women apparently ‘may find it more difficult to get pregnant’…note – it can be difficult, not impossible.  And that is to be said for a woman who was supposedly more fertile than myself.  So, if the next round of IVF is successful and we do decide to have a second child I would definitely be past 35 if we ever tried to conceive again.  Not exactly what I had in mind!   But time is never going to be on my side and I can’t cheat it!

Today as I did a bit of early spring cleaning, I took down our four photo frames Chris and I put together for our Wedding day.  They were starting to curl and look a bit raggedy.

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Our photo collage we put together for our wedding day…we look so young!

I peeled the photos off the frame and I noticed the lack of wrinkles on my face in some of the photos.  A couple were from over eight years ago when Chris and I first met.  As I look in the mirror today I see my slightly more pronounced furrow lines and wonder how much my life experience impacts these lines.  Often we associate wrinkles with ‘wisdom in life’, and I sure feel like that.  Since I met Chris we have done incredible things in our lives.  If I were to die today I would think I had led a pretty amazing life and would go with a smile.  But experience and wisdom doesn’t simply come from the good things in life, it’s also the bad things.  I think it’s difficult to truly appreciate the good things without experiencing some pain.  So when I see those furrow lines in the mirror I don’t just see time fading, I see time enriching me.

“The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.” – Jean Paul Sartre

With infertility, I want time to pass quickly, I’m always waiting. The dreaded two week wait (How many of those have I written about on this blog now??!), waiting to start treatment or waiting to end treatment!  But I don’t want it to pass so quickly that my furrows grow deeper and I realise too late that infertility made me accidentally press the pause button on gaining that life experience and wisdom – the good, bad and ugly.

So as I move forward into 2016, my new year’s resolution is to embrace time and make every bit of sand in that hourglass of life count for something.

IVF Vol 2 begins!

Yesterday my period arrived, just one day later than anticipated, but that’s all good.  I called my nurse and started with the Birth Control Pills (Reclipsen).

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Birth Control Pills (BCPs) – YEY!!!!

I will be on Birth Control Pills for 14 days (1 day longer than last time), then 3 days later we go into the Clinic for my Cycle Day 3 baseline ultrasound and blood tests – this time we won’t need to have all the lessons on injections – but we will need to sign some paperwork and sort out the finances.  Then the next day I get my instructions for injections…and we are off on IVF/ICSI cycle 2!  Here is a calendar of our cycle…

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Planned Dates for IVF Cycle 2.

It is all happening a week later than I expected, which puts me in a conundrum about work travels.  This would mean travelling for work almost the day after I take my first beta blood test.  If it is positive, then I will be flying transatlantic to the UK just 4 weeks pregnant, and have to figure out how I’m going to do these progesterone injections.  Or if it is negative and I am not pregnant, then I will be away from Chris at a sad time. Either way, it kind of sucks.  If I don’t go on this work trip then I will be a real let down to my team.  I’m hoping Chris might be able to come with me on this trip, but it is really hard for him to get the time off work.

Anyway, I am genuinely excited to be starting this cycle, but I had a little cry yesterday.  I think it was all the period hormones running around.  I cried because of the whole situation of fitting everything in life around this IVF cycle.  I’m trying to make it easier for myself by taking some leave off work, but it is a busy month for my team, there is lots of work to be done, I have already had to pull out of one work event (in Switzerland :-|) and so I feel guilty.  Despite feeling like this….I still have hope for 2016 🙂

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2016 is the year I will be stronger, braver, kinder and unstoppable.  This year I will be fierce!!!

For those of you who are new to the whole IVF process or want a reminder of how IVF works you can find a summary on my “What does it all mean?” page here.  Currently I am in Step 1 of the process!

 

Preparations for IVF Round 2

This week My nurse ordered my medications in preparation for IVF round 2.    Our doctor did tell us that she might up the stimulation drugs…but I didn’t know it might be DOUBLE 😦 Last cycle I took 300iu Gonal-F and 75iu Menopur.  This cycle I will be starting off with 400iu Gonal-F and 150iu Menopur.

Menopur is the one that frigging burns too 😦  The nurse said to me “Don’t worry, it’s still one injection.”  Well, I guess in that case I should count my blessings!

When I spoke to Freedom Fertility Pharmacy (my favourite people – not!) after telling them I am likely to be starting stims on 7th Jan, the lady on the phone said….”Great, should I schedule a delivery for your medication to arrive the 5th Jan?”.  Ummmm no, that is way too close for my comfort, and after your previous perfomances, I just don’t trust you!! (OK, so I didn’t tell her it quite like that!!).  I don’t need that stress again!

Now….just to wait for my period to start next week!  Fingers crossed all goes to plan.  But for now, this is me signing off the great pudding club hunt for a week of festivities.

Have a very merry and peaceful Christmas everybody!!! XXX

 

How to make big decisions when dealing with infertility

Throughout infertility we are often faced with the kind of decisions that are life changing.  Life changing decisions for the more fertilely inclined will probably involve: whether or not to get married, which house to buy, where their next holiday destination will be, what career to choose, whether to stay or quit a job, and of course, the classic – whether they should tell their best friend that their partner is cheating on them.

For us infertiles it might also include whether or not to re-mortgage the house to pay for another round of IVF treatment, adoption, surrogacy or a.n.other expensive treatment, whether to undertake genetic testing of embryos, which body part to sell for the exuberantly priced hormonal medications we have to buy or whether to terminate a pregnancy to save our own lives.

Ok so I might have trivialised the decisions fertile people make (Please don’t take offense!), but I think you get my point.  Making decisions throughout the process is tough.  Fortunately for me, this is my line of business…I help the military make tough decisions, whether it is on operations or in peace time, I help them to see the wood for the trees.

So there are a few of the more simple techniques that I can show you that you might be able to use to help you when you get stuck in a rutt.  They are also useful to work through with your partner.  In-fact, it is is even better if you do work them through with your partner (or your BFF, sister or other close relative).  Getting an outsider’s perspective from someone who you trust can be helpful (obviously you don’t have to listen to them :-)).

I’ll order the techniques in difficulty, starting with the easiest first…

PLUSSES, MINUSES, INTERESTING (+, -, ?)

  1. Take out a large blank piece of paper and write at the top of your paper the dilemma you are trying to resolve.  For example. Take methotrexate treatment to terminate suspected ectopic pregnancy.
  2. Draw three columns down the page, each with the heading: Plusses, Minuses, Interesting.
  3. Start with the Plusses column.  Think about what the likely positive outcomes would be if you took the action.  Write each point down with a plus sign”+”.
  4. Next think about the likely negative consequences if you took the action. Write each point down with a negative sign “-“.
  5. You may also write down things that are interesting about taking this action – these might be outcomes that you are simply unsure of what the future might hold.  Write each of these down with a question mark “?”.
  6. Simultaneously get your partner to follow the exact same process.  Make sure they write what they feel, not what they think you want them to write!!!  This is a time for honesty.
  7. Now compare your lists and talk about the differences you might have and why.  If you don’t understand something on each other’s list then use the couple’s validation technique (described here) to help you explore each other’s feelings.  It is important to explore your differences and understand why they might exist.
  8. Hopefully a conclusion will fall out of this list writing.  If it doesn’t, then the dilemma you are facing is probably too complex for this technique, you may want to try another approach.

6 THINKING HATS

This is one of my favourite techniques!  You can do this on your own or with your partner, or as many other people as you like (ideally no more than 6 people otherwise it gets a bit chaotic!)  This technique makes you think with 6 different perspectives and helps you to organise your thoughts.  Edward De Bono who created this technique says:

“The main difficulty of thinking is confusion”.

He is quite right, and this technique helps to overcome a lot of the confusion in our minds.

debono

  1. I like to have 6 separate blank pieces of paper ready. 1 for each of the 6 hats.
  2. Take your first sheet of paper, and write at the top: THE WHITE HAT – FACTS & INFORMATION.  The white hat makes you think about data and information.  It is used to record information that is currently available and to identify information that may be needed to help with your decision.  I.e. questions you may need to ask your medical practitioners.  Now think about all the facts you have about the problem you are facing.  For example, costs $$, available budget $$, dates, times, who is involved, who is not involved – any other facts or information you may have.  Write all these down.  Don’t forget to add any questions you may have that you simply do not know the facts of at that very moment – this is important!  Once you have run out of facts and information…move onto the next step.
  3. Take your second sheet of paper, and write at the top:  THE RED HAT – FEELINGS.  The red hat is associated with feelings, intuition and emotion.  this hat allows people to put forward their gut feelings without justification or prejudice.  Now write down your gut feelings you may have.  For example: “This drug is going to kill my immune system so I know I’m going to be sick for a long time after I take this injection. I don’t want to be sick anymore, I’m sick of being sick”.  Once you captured your feelings move onto the next step.
  4. Take your third sheet of paper, and write at the top: THE YELLOW HAT – BENEFITS.  The yellow hat is for a positive view of things.  It looks for benefits in a situation.  This hat encourages positivity even with people who tend to be more critical.  Now write down all the benefits you can think of.  Try to see the positive light when ‘wearing’ this yellow hat.  Once you have run out of positivity (!!) move onto the next step.
  5. Take your fourth piece of paper, and write at the top: THE BLACK HAT – CAUTIONS.  The black hat relates to caution.  It is used for critical judgement.  Sometimes it is easy to spend a lot of time focusing on this hat.  Now write down all the issues or downsides you can think of.  It is often easy to be the critic.  So for every negative, try to match it with a positive (using the yellow hat list and add to the yellow hat list if you need to).  Once you have finished being negative, move onto the next step.
  6. Take your fifth piece of paper, and write at the top: THE GREEN HAT – CREATIVITY.  The green hat is for creative thinking and generating new ideas.  This is your creative thinking cap.  Review your list so far.  Try to think about how you might want to overcome some of the negatives on your list – think creatively!!  You could try writing something crazy or wacky down to start with, then try to turn that crazy idea to something more realistic.  This can be difficult to do on your own!  Get some thoughts from other people!!  It is important at this stage to not immediately put down any idea your partner may make.  All ideas are good ideas when ‘wearing’ the green hat.  When you are ready move onto the final step.
  7. Take your sixth and final piece of paper, and write at the top: THE BLUE HAT – CONTROL.  The blue hat is the time to think some more about the thinking you have just done!  The blue hat reviews, summarises, concludes and makes decisions.  Now is the time to review your other 5 sheets of paper, add any last final ideas (it is OK to go back and look for any gaps in any of your 5 hats)…and time to discuss with your partner, similarly to the +, -, ? technique resolve differences in opinions and make some decisions.

Hopefully this technique will help you consider all sides of an argument and help you find some alternate points to your specific dilemma you may never have considered before.  The thing I love about this technique is that you can do this with your partner without worrying about ending up arguing.  Only negative things can be said when wearing the black hat…!!!  Use that to help you get things out on the table.  You can download a blank template here: http://www.slideshare.net/zhigangfang/six-thinking-hats-worksheet But I would highly recommend doing the YELLOW HAT BEFORE THE BLACK HAT!!! Sometimes you can do the BLACK HAT before the YELLOW HAT, but it really is up to you 🙂

It is simple once you have done it once, and after you remember the 6 hats, you can apply this as a mental model to any decision you want to make.

MAKE A DECISION!!!

This isn’t really a formal technique per se, but it is something I came across a while ago when I was making a decision about whether or not to take methotrexate to terminate my suspected ectopic pregnancy.

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I used this notepad to help me make a decision whether or not to take methotrexate

I bought a pad of paper that had blank lines to fill in anytime you want to make a decision.

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It nicely mixes up the two techniques I have already explained, and it is quite funny.  You can buy these ‘Knock Knock’ notepads from amazon here.

OK this post is long enough already….I’ll write about some more decision making techniques another day 🙂

3 months post Methotrexate

Today marks the day that 3 months ago I took the methotrexate shot to terminate my suspected ectopic pregnancy.  Today is an important day for Chris and I because we are officially allowed to try to conceive again!  Woohoo!!!  We were on a ban from conceiving just in case I got pregnant and the methotrexate was still in my system causing damage to the embryo.

Three months has flown by…I have kept myself busy with work travels and finishing off various projects at work before the end of the year.  Also preparing for Christmas has been a nice distraction too.  Now all that is left to do is make some time for a few parties to see in the new year.

You cannot believe how much I am looking forward to 2016 and our next round of IVF treatment 🙂 yup….this craazy lady here is looking forward to being stabbed in the tummy with needles.

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Effects of flying and jet lag on fertility pt 2.

In my previous post I described some research that indicates fertility may be effected by the disruption to the body clock as a result of travelling across time zones (or any other job that requires shift work).  There is one hormone that may be taken as a supplement to help overcome and regulate the problems our bodies face as we fly in to different time zones – melatonin.

Melatonin is not new to me.  Some of my US colleagues have told me about the use of Melatonin to help them overcome their jet lag quickly when they are in Europe.

Last year I landed in Germany with a terrible headache that had lasted more than two days, pain killers just didn’t touch it, and I couldn’t sleep – which was probably perpetuating my headache.  So my US colleague suggested I took some melatonin to help me sleep and kick start my body into a natural rhythm.  He warned me that melatonin can have side effects, such as vivid dreams.  I already dream a lot normally, and I had problems in Afghanistan with Anti-Malerial drugs causing vivid dreams and hallucinations; so I was very cautious of taking melatonin.  But I was willing to give it a try as by my third night in Germany I was consistently unable to fall asleep until about 5AM, then working all day with this awful headache.  So I took two of the little melatonin pills, and they helped me to fall asleep before midnight.  Bliss.  I did have some vivid dreams, actually they were more like nightmares, but at least I got some shut eye!  My headache didn’t disappear though, so I decided not to take any more melatonin. I was more afraid of my dreams than my headache.

I didn’t know much about melatonin at that time; I didn’t really look into it.  But since suffering from infertility I have been educated more into melatonin and its purpose.  I came across it in the book “It starts with the Egg” by Rebecca Fett, but I didn’t pay it much attention.

So what is melatonin?  It is a hormone that helps regulate many other hormones in the body and helps to maintain our body clocks (or circadian rhythms).  During light hours of the day, our natural melatonin production drops and when it is dark, the body produces more melatonin.  If we are not exposed to enough light during the day or too bright artificial light in the evening this can disrupt the body’s natural melatonin cycle.

What does melatonin have to do with fertility?  Melatonin is produced by the pineal gland in the brain, but it is also produced by the follicles within an ovary, the mass of cells that surround the follicles, and in the immature follicle itself.  It is here where melatonin acts as an antioxidant which supports cellular health and protection of the immature egg from oxidative stress, especially at the time of ovulation.  Melatonin has beneficial effects not just on eggs but also on embryos.  Mouse embryos grown in a lab with melatonin showed an increased rate of forming bastocyst-stage embryos [1].  As a result of this success, clinical trials were undertaken.   A study of 115 women showed that melatonin may increase egg quality by reducing the level of one oxidising agent called 8-0HdG in the ovum, which is a natural product of DNA oxidation [2].  Women who were given melatonin had a fertilisation rate much higher than their previous cycle and nearly 20% of the melatonin treated women became pregnant.  Whereas only 10% of the non-melatonin group became pregnant.

Melatonin also helps to control body temperature, the timing and release of female reproductive hormones and possibly egg quality.

Finally, melatonin is known to act as an antioxidant during early pregnancy.  In addition, melatonin in the mother’s blood passes through the placenta to aid the creation of the fetal suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN) where the central circadian regulatory system is located.

Melatonin levels decline with age, and as a result the ovaries lose their natural protector against oxidative stress; hence could be an additional contributor to age-related infertility.

If you are going to consider taking melatonin as a supplement when trying to conceive you need to be careful and should ask your doctor, because the melatonin supplement may disrupt the natural hormone balance and interfere with ovulation.  If you are going through a controlled hormone cycle with IVF this is less of a concern.  In addition, melatonin can cause side effects, such as daytime droziness, dizziness, and irritability and may worsen depression.  Melatonin can also interact with other drugs, so this is why it is important to check with your doctor before taking it.

If you are going to take melatonin as a supplement whilst travelling it is also important to know what time to take it.  You should take the supplement after dark the day you travel and after dark for a few days after arriving at your destination.  In addition, taking melatonin in the evening a few days before you fly if flying eastward.  Again, there is caution to be made here because the long term effects of taking the supplement are unknown.  Therefore this is not overly helpful for airline attendants or shift workers, and only for those who travel infrequently.

For me, personally, I am undecided as to whether or not I will take melatonin as a supplement for either my next IVF cycle or when I am on my next international trip.  But I will certainly be asking my doctor next time we speak.

Have you taken melatonin as a supplement? What are your experiences with it?

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[1] The effect of melatonin on in vitro fertilization and embryo development in mice.  Available here: http://hera.ugr.es/doi/15015646.pdf

[2].  The role of melatonin as an antioxidant in the follicle.  Available here: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3296634/

Period after HSG and miscarriage

If you are not into reading about periods and period blood you should stop reading this now and come back tomorrow when I will be talking about less gross things in life 🙂

This is my first period since my recent Hysterosalpingogram – HSG – test.  This is also (probably) my second period since my miscarriage.  And it’s a weird one!!  It is on schedule – for which I am truly grateful for (isn’t it funny how we celebrate the little wins on this journey!!).  But this period is weird so far.  The pains are different, I cannot explain what is different about them, they don’t hurt so much, but the pain ‘rumbles’ inside me rather than the typical’radiating’ and ‘sharp’ pains I get from my normal period.  The blood is a heavy watery-pinky-mucusy mix.  Normally I get dark brown or red, thick and clotty blood.

So I got onto my friend google (like you do in a situation when weird stuff happens to your body).  I extensively searched for possible causes and whether this is normal or something I should call the nurse about.  My biggest concern is that my uterus lining won’t be up to scratch in preparation for our next round of IVF.

The best and corroborated explanation for this unexpected weirdness is that it may be an indicator of anemia or low iron stores and/or unbalanced diet/suffer from poor digestion.  Both of these things are plausible in my case, but can be easily resolved with some supplements.

I was worried it could be associated with the HSG procedure or the miscarriage, but it seems to not be the case.  So nothing to  worry about or to call the nurse about specifically, but I will mention it when I speak to her next.

Crisis averted, thank you google!  Now….pass me the liver and spinach 🙂

November: My blog therapy month #NaBloPoMo15

I challenged myself to write a post every day in November as part of National Blog Posting Month 2015.  Well, I certainly wrote more posts than I thought I would, but I didn’t quite manage to post every day.  I managed  22 posts out of a possible 30 :-s  If you posted every day, kudos to you my friend!!! It isn’t easy.  The thanksgiving holiday and travelling to Europe for work has limited my success in posting every day/  The days I didn’t blog were the days I yearned to write; just had little physical time to sit down and write it.  I got withdrawal symptoms when I didn’t write.  And I still have a long list of things I want to write about.  Fortunately, I never experienced writers block, I always had something to talk about.  Which is surprising, because I am not much of a big talker in real life!

I have written about some things that perhaps have given you more insight to my ways of thinking – an insight to the inner Dani!   If you are still here reading – Thank you for sticking with me!!!!

I have written about infertility related issues, and explored some broader topics about becoming a parent.  I have written about things that have bothered me and simply writing about them has helped me get over them.

I have also killed some time; time until our next cycle of IVF cycle.  I now have a new countdown – Christmas!!!! And I even have an amazing 3D Christmas Tree advent calendar that my granny gave me which will help.  I bought Chris a Birthday present – a daily lesson of couple’s massage for a month.  Basically he gets to be the stooge whilst I learn how to massage properly. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!!!! Not only does Chris get a mini massage on a daily basis (assuming I don’t hurt him whilst learning the massage techniques!), it brings us closer together through the power of relaxation – AND this daily lesson will be another count down to Christmas!  Then, after Christmas it is only 3 days until my Birthday, which will also most likely be the start of my IVF Diary Vol. 2.  Whoop whoop!

Time has flown this month, NaBloPoMo15 has signified a lot more to me than just exploring my ability to write and blog.  I have discovered that writing is therapeutic, something very much needed.  It has helped in my recovery to positivity.  I am feeling ready to start afresh.  January 2016 is going to be a rollercoaster ride.  But I have a feeling that we are going to have a great start to the year.
NaBloPoMo November 2015