When you see your doctor’s phone number appear on your screen….in that instant your brain racks in an instant through all the possible reasons she is calling…you pause, take a breath and answer nervously.

This is what happened this morning at 9AM. My doctor tells me she is reconsidering her position, she wanted me to come in sooner for a beta blood test, in fact right this instant if I could make it. Luckily, I’ve taken the day off work and I decided to get up and get ready with Chris rather than laze around in my PJs. So I was out of the house in less than 3 minutes, making the 25 minute car journey to my clinic. All I could think is what if my hCG levels aren’t falling? What will this mean? Am in danger? Have I made the wrong decision.

I have lost so much blood now, probably about 3 times the amount of my heaviest period…let’s not even count the number of vials of blood I’ve given to the nurse for various tests!

My doctor popped her head in whilst my nurse was drawing my blood. She just wanted to check on me and assure me she thinks this is a miscarriage but she wants to do her due diligence and be certain. I understand her worry and appreciate their observation of me. But what a roller coaster.

I’m going to mention now just how much I dislike forums and some facebook groups. I joined a couple last week relating to ectopic pregnancy, one was for those who were misdiagnosed and one for those who were suffering/suffered ectopic. In this latter group there was a lady who was going through almost exactly the same as me, except one week behind. I commented with my story because everyone who had commented thus far was singing doom and gloom. I explained what my doc had said yesterday, and then one women replied to my comment “that’s what happened to me, I too was passing huge clots, they thought I was miscarrying, but actually it was ectopic”. Oh for craps sake, way to freak out a girl!!!

So now I wait….please….please hCG be lowering. I’m tired of this 😒