IVF DIARY VOL I: 25 – 26 JULY 2015

IVF_Diary_Vol1e.pngMedication(s) administered and dosage(s). 2 injections: Gonal-F 300 iu and Menopur 75 iu.   So the injections are going well, I have a few puncture marks, but no bruises, just a bit of tenderness from the menopur.  The Gonal-F needle requires a bit of extra pressure to go in, so we are doing this one first to get it over and done with.  The menopur stings like hell when it is being injected (not from the needle, but the medication itself), even if Chris injects it really slowly.  It also immediately feels hard beneath my skin, I’m not sure whether giving it a rub is a good thing or not, so I have refrained from doing so.  But after I lie down with a heat pad on it for 10 minutes or so all is fine.  We didn’t realise that the Gonal-F 450iu box actually makes up 600iu reconstituted, so we made up a second vial yesterday when we didn’t need to.  Whoops! But we learn.

Medical procedures undertaken. Nil.

How do I feel today? Uncomfortably full after each meal – and no I’m not eating more!!! It’s a weird sensation I haven’t felt before.  I’m feeling positive!

What are my symptoms? Other than the odd occasional sharp pain, I haven’t had any other symptoms.  I have woken up in bed absolutely soaked from the night sweats over the past few nights.  In fact this has been happening a lot recently.  I assume it is from the medications.  I am just glad we bought a king size bed so that when I do wake up in the middle of the night I have somewhere dry to lie and get back to sleep!!! It’s gross! Poor Chris.

How does Chris feel today? Chris has put “Go Home” into his work diary so that he comes home every night at a reasonable time! But he tells me he is feeling good about where we are and what we are doing.  He feels a little worried about how I feel in my tummy (quote).  He did forget to take his doxycycline pill and I had to remind him, he says he feels a bit like a wally that he had one thing to do (but I think he is beating himself up for no reason because after all he is the one doing the injections).

Any results? Nil.

What’s next?  My next monitoring appointment is tomorrow before work.

Weight. Aghhhh!!! I put on 1.6lbs over night!  That is the biggest increase I have had since I’ve been monitoring my weight.  I shouldn’t be surprised, I have heard that this is inevitable, and the weight will be all the extra fluid…but seriously, if I keep up at this rate I will be over 10lbs heavier!

Waist.  I have been measuring my waistline just below my belly button and my waistline hasn’t changed yet….but believe me, when I look down, I’m like WOAH, where did that tummy come from??! I have a little sticky out tummy like I am pregnant.  I am only on day 3 of stim medication….what’s it going to be like by the end??!?!

Boobs. NSTR

Hours of Sunshine 🙂 Lots and lots of sunshine this weekend!  We spent 2.5hrs lazing on the beach on Saturday and we sat outside for lunch for 1hr.  Today we went on a kayaking trip in False Cape State park, so that was another 3hrs in the glorious sun.  Chris forgot to put suncream on his face today.  Doh.  He is a bit pink in the face this evening.  But this really will be the last time he gets out into the sun until he provides his sperm specimen.  He started taking a prescription of Doxycycline in order to prepare his sperm for ICSI.  The doxycycline helps make his sperm less sticky so they can easily select one for ICSI.

150726_IVF1_Stats

*Notes.  I take First Response Reproductive Health multi vitamin gummies (pre-natal) and CoQ10 200mg gummies daily.  NSTR = Nothing Significant To Report.

Skin – It’s tougher than you think

  • Today was injection day number 1 and the number of injections required was 2.
  • 2 injections means 2 holes in the skin.
  • The number of holes in skin for today = 5
  • It wasn’t the best of starts to the injection schedule

So today Dani and I started the injections for IVF. We have previously done 3 injections for IUI and so have had a limited amount of practice. The nurse took us through all the steps for mixing the drugs and it seemed fairly straight forward. So when it came time to do the first injection Dani pinched an area of her tummy and I moved in, needle in hand.

3 … 2 … 1 … jab

We do a count down so Dani knows when the needle goes in, only, on this occasion the needle did not go in.

(Chris) “erm ….. it wont go in”

(Dani) “What do you mean it wont go in?”

(Chris) “I mean the needle wont go in.”

(Dani) “What…”

(Chris) “I didn’t inject you. The needle wont go through your skin.”

… pause …

(Dani) “WHAT…?!?”

At this point I had started to worry that I’d somehow blunted the needle whilst extracting the drugs from the vial. I was also worried that that I was wasting some VERY expensive drugs by not getting them inside her.

Two more attempts and the needle still didn’t go through Dani’s skin. I was getting really worried at this point, the needle was making tiny pricks that bled but wouldn’t go all the way through the skin. Each time I tried to do the injection I knew it was hurting Dani, small spots of blood formed on her stomach. This was the lowest point of the entire process for me, I’m not sure how Dani kept so calm, she is perhaps even more scared of needles as I am. Dani is AMAZING!

We looked at the instructions again and decided we’d done everything right with the mixing and the syringe filling, it appears that I just needed to push harder. So with 3 holes in her tummy already we pinched the skin again and I prepared to inject harder.

In reality I probably didn’t have to push very hard but in the moment it felt like I was trying to jab the needle through her entire body. I used the ‘dart’ method, holding the syringe like a dart and jabbing it hard at the skin. This time the needle went in smoothly all the way to the ‘stopper’, the drugs were injected and the needle came out smoothly without a single drop of blood.

We disposed of the needle, tidied the mess and then we both went to lie down for a minute. I was feeling light headed and a little sick … how daft is that? Dani is the one being stabbed and having reasonable quantities of drugs pushed into her body and yet I’m the one lying down feeling woozy. I really cannot say how much I admire and love her, she is going through so much and yet still finds a way to comfort me. What an amazing girl.

After a couple of minutes snuggled together, skeptically examining the collection of puncture marks on her tummy from the first injection, we prepared for the second injection. This time things went much better. I prepped the syringe and Dani lay propped up in bed, a patch of tummy swabbed and ready. On the count of three I launched the syringe towards her with such force the skin stood no chance, parting under the extreme pressure of the assault Dani’s tummy had no choice but to accept the drugs. 10 seconds in and out and it was all over.

2 injections, 5 holes in the skin. Not a good ratio considering we have 70(ish) more injections to go, but I’m confident we’ll get better at this – hopefully by tomorrow!

IVF DIARY VOL I: 22 – 24 JULY 2015

IVF_Diary_Vol1cMedication(s) administered and dosage(s). 2 injections: Gonal-F 300 iu and Menopur 75 iu

Medical procedures undertaken. Baseline ultrasound and blood test.

How do I feel today? I think every emotion under the sun has run through me!

We knew we had to deal with the financials today, but wasn’t sure what to expect so I turned up with cheque book and credit card in hand!!! Well it was all much quicker than anticipated, my insurance company has provided a letter promising to pay everything….yes everything including the ICSI! (well, everything except for the 10% co-pay of course).  I signed something saying that I would be responsible for the $14,000 bill if my insurance decided not to cover it for any reason.  So in the end, we didn’t need to pay anything upfront and we expect to see a bill of our $1,400 co-pay in 1-2 months time.  That’s great because it gives us more time to save some more and helps me feel a little more relaxed about things.

Chris surprised me with a big Zippy hug after he had stabbed me with the needles this evening.  Hiding in Zippy’s mouth was a bar of cadbury’s chocolate! Awww it was a nice perk me up.  Of course I only had 3 squares as my weekly treat!

Zippy!!!

Zippy!!! What’s in your mouth?

What are my symptoms? Just period pains.  I am actually quite surprised how heavy my period is considering I had only a 14 day cycle!

How does Chris feel today? Chris is currently writing his own separate post today about his experience this evening after he stabbed me…4 times…..with 2 needles.  You are going to want to read this!  Let’s just say there were some comedic moments.

Any results? The way I get all my results is rather handy.  I call a secure answer phone service after 4pm the day of my monitoring appointment and the nurse leaves a message with all instructions for dosages and the date/time of my next appointment.  I can call the nurse any time I like if I have questions.  I like it this way because I won’t have to worry about missing a call.  I actually didn’t get any info about my blood test results today.  But I do have an app on my phone that tracks all my results, but it updates late in the evening, so I will be a bit behind in reporting blood test results.  My ultrasound went well – my ovaries are ‘quiet’ as the doctor explained as she wants them to be.  I have several follicles between 5-6mm in size in each ovary ready to be stimulated.  For my next diary entry I’m going to figure out a nice visual way to track my follicle growth and numbers over time.

What’s next?  My next monitoring appointment is Monday morning, until then I keep going with the 2 injections a day of gonal-f  300 iu and menopur 75 iu.

Weight. NSTR.

Waist.  NSTR

Boobs. NSTR

Hours of Sunshine 🙂 We decided to get to the doctor’s nice and early this morning so we wouldn’t get caught in rush hour traffic, so we had breakfast outside starbucks, playing crib and basking in the glorious sunshine.

150724_IVF1_Stats

*Notes.  I take First Response Reproductive Health multi vitamin gummies (pre-natal) and CoQ10 200mg gummies daily.  NSTR = Nothing Significant To Report.

Life lessons and bloody blood. For blood’s sake.

I stopped my birth control pills as instructed by the nurse on Monday (cycle day 13).  Today, 3 days later I get my period….now come on Aunt Flow…..you just stopped bleeding only 6 days ago!!! And of course the bleeding is accompanied by the usual pains 😦

Oh well, only conciliation is that tomorrow we start our first IVF cycle.  Am I nervous? Yep! Excited? A teeny bit, because we are moving forward, hopefully!

Whatever happens over the next four weeks, good or bad, we will learn something new:

  • Chris will learn how to stab me with various needles.
  • We will learn how to mix up our own drugs.
  • I will learn how good or bad my veins are for drawing blood.
  • I will learn that my vagina is no longer my own, not even during my period.  Sorry Chris.
  • We will learn about how my eggs and Chris’s sperm work, or do not work together.
  • We will learn about hope, love and strength in our marriage.
  • We will learn whether we will become parents.

Plus loads more…I like learning new things so my glass is half full right now, despite how scary that list looks 🙂

IVF DIARY VOL I: 17 – 21 JULY 2015

IVF_Diary_Vol1b.pngMedication(s) administered and dosage(s). Nil (the quiet before the storm??!)

Medical procedures undertaken. Nil

How do I feel today? Woohoo!! I took my last birth control pill yesterday, so I’m feeling excited!

I am on week 7 of my sugar and simple carbs ban.  I’ve done pretty well and have allowed myself just one small treat each week which has kept me motivated (although last night we did have white pasta :-s whoops).  I even bought dunkin donuts for everyone at work today and I had not one bite of them!  Wow, I was drooling over their delicious smell.  I have struggled over the last week or so with sugar cravings.  I’ve never had cravings like this…it got to the point that I even imagined there was a tiny piece of chocolate in the sink when in fact it was just a piece of cat food.  I was hallucinating about all things super sugary, in particular Krispy Kreme donuts.  I was  literally salivating over the cookies at my work cafe and imagining the way that they would crisp and crunch in my mouth, with the chocolate chips still slightly melted as they just came out of the oven.  Was it the Birth Control Pills that did this to me?  Or my addiction to sugar.  I really can’t quite tell.

Work is a bit stressful as I am trying to fit a lot in so I can take time off required for the IVF appointments, plus a bunch of other factors that are out of my hands are probably contributing to the stress.  I probably have piled a lot of that stress on myself, but I can’t help but be a perfectionist; sometimes I have to stop and ask myself – is anybody going to die if I don’t do this work?  When I answer with no, then I remind myself to step away.

What are my symptoms? The spotting finally stopped just as it was time to stop the birth control pills.  I took just 13 pills in all, and the nurse told me to stop take my last on yesterday in preparation for my first day of stimulation injectibles scheduled for this Friday 24th Jul.  I am not sure if I will get a period over the next few days, so I shall await with a pad/tampon to hand just in case :-s

How does Chris feel today? Chris feels like work has distracted him from the build up to our upcoming IVF.  It worries him a little bit because he thinks he might not be paying close enough attention to his true feelings.  But he did tell me that he is excited to be starting, but nervous all at the same time, particularly at the notion of stabbing me with the needles.  (Yep, you and me both hon ;-p !!)

Any results? Nil

What’s next? Our first appointment with the clinic to start the IVF cycle is scheduled for Friday morning, we have been told to anticipate spending about 3 hours there to get a baseline ultrasound, blood tests, fill out paper work, pay them lots of money – I hope they take my credit card (thinking of all the extra points!!!).

Weight. Overall, the Birth Control Pills did not cause me to put on weight.  After tracking for 18 days straight (first time I have ever done this) I can see that I have a bit of up and down cycles as I eat more at the weekends and less during the week.  But looking at my rolling average, I have not put on weight.  Yippeee!  But I have a good baseline set of measurements now prior to stimulation to closely monitor the effects.

Waist.  NSTR

Boobs. NSTR

Hours of Sunshine 🙂 I got in several hours of sunshine this weekend, just before we had a huuuuge storm that crapped the hell out of me…the lightening, thunder and winds were extreme, I wasn’t sure we were about to face a tornado.  Our neighbour’s tree fell down on their house and the neighbourhood flooded, fortunately this is the reason we all have raised houses.

My stats to date

My stats to date

*Notes.  I take First Response Reproductive Health multi vitamin gummies (pre-natal) and CoQ10 200mg gummies daily.  NSTR = Nothing Significant To Report.

It can be all a little bit confusing

Infertility treatment IS pretty darn confusing.  And I’ve spent 100s of hours researching it.  It’s confusing because there is no one single way to treat infertility.  If they had figured out a magic pill to get you pregnant we would all be taking it.  Unfortunately, there isn’t that one pill.  There are many causes of infertility and so treatment is specific to the couple being treated.  The journey each one of us take to the great pudding club will be unique.  And it can be confusing with all that medical jargon, drugs (brands and generic versions), procedures, timings…and to make things worse, it will probably be different each time we have another try to make a little one.

We have been asked many questions by friends and family about our infertility, and I am so glad they do ask – firstly, it shows that they care, and secondly, it helps spread awareness of infertility (did you know that 1 in 10 couples are infertile?).  So to this end, I have put together a page on my site that introduces some of the important terms we talk about a lot, all in one place.

(My new page: What does it all mean?)

I have also updated the ‘about me’ page to include a timeline of what we have tried so far.  We will be using these pages as a place to direct family and friends for a bit of background as we start our first IVF cycle and tell a few more people what we are going through.

My dear friends, I just wanted you to know how grateful I am that you are here with us and support us along the way.  Thank you for understanding and thank you for providing us with words of strength and comfort X

IVF DIARY VOL I: 10 – 16 JULY 2015

IVF_Diary_Vol1a.pngMedication(s) administered and dosage(s). Ovulation Control Pill (OCP) Reclipsen 0.15MG-30MCG x 1

Medical procedures undertaken. Nil

How do I feel today?  Fed up of spotting!  I haven’t felt ‘hormonal’ the last week like I thought potentially the birth control pills might do.  Overall feeling not too bad.

What are my symptoms? The first few days after I started the birth control pills I got a bit bloated and a bit constipated…which for someone with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (The diarrhea type) one would think it would make a nice change from going to poo three times a day!  Fortunately, things have got back to normal in that arena.  My boobs are a little tender and have stayed the same size since my period started (a bit bigger).  Then there is the extra bleeding also, my period lasted a couple of days longer than my normal 2-3 days…and I have been spotting since then, so wearing a panty liner is a must right now.

How does Chris feel today? Chris is still very busy at work at the moment 😦 He is trying to get as much done in prep for the when we start ‘stimming’ (aka injecting the drugs) so he can focus on us.  (Aww bless him, he’s a sweetie)  We did have that big discussion about how many embryos to transfer and what our decision will be.  It made for an interesting dinner table conversation!  We weighed up the pros and cons, but he did say that ultimately he would stick with whatever I decided because it is my body and health that would be at risk.  So we haven’t completely ruled out transferring two just yet.

Any results? NA

What’s next? Just four more days of birth control pills.  I’m looking forward to not hearing my ‘alien’ alarm on my phone that reminds me to take them at the same time every day.

Weight. Funny story and probably too much information – Now, I have been weighing myself as soon as I wake up to make it a fair comparison.  One morning, after weighing myself I went downstairs, started to prepare breakfast when I realised I needed to go to the toilet (at last hooray!!).  And as I mentioned earlier, having been constipated for a while, I did an enormous poo….so much so that in the interest of science, afterwards, I dashed back upstairs to weigh myself again.  Can you believe it?  I weighed EXACTLY the same 127.2lbs….and I got on and off I three times to be sure it wasn’t stuck.  So now I just don’t trust those scales!!

Waist.  NSTR

Boobs. NSTR

Hours of Sunshine 🙂 Seriously, still not enough….the weather has not been great recently, but last night whilst I played softball I soaked up the evening sun and it was glorious.  I hope this weekend brings us some better weather!

150716_IVF1_Stats

*Notes.  I take First Response Reproductive Health multi vitamin gummies (pre-natal) and CoQ10 200mg gummies daily.  NSTR = Nothing Significant To Report.

The pain of unexplained infertility

Unexplained infertility eats away at you, month by month, day by day, hour by hour.  The pain grows exponentially, as the odds of a successful pregnancy diminish.

At first, you thank your lucky stars (or your god), that there is nothing seriously wrong with you or your husband.  You both passed all the fertility tests with flying colours.  Your Reproductive Endocrinologist should be giving out gold stars each time you brave another fertility test because your stats are great and you are top of the class.

But you are defined as infertile, and yet at the same time, they cannot find any medical reason as to why you are unable to conceive.  This is not through any fault of the doctors; learning to accept this fact is difficult.  Beginning to understand the wonders of conception and how many stars have to be in line for a baby to be born makes it a little easier to swallow.  But that doesn’t make it any less bitter.

You beat yourself up over the seemingly small things…

  • Should I have just had that glass of wine?
  • Am I too fat? Am I too skinny?
  • I forgot to take my pre-natal multivitamin – will my eggs mature this month?
  • Will that cup of coffee harm my little bean?
  • Did I exercise too hard?  Should I exercise more?

The ambiguity of it all drags on you, it weighs heavy on your heart.  You can’t help but believe it must be something you are doing wrong.  Even with the strength of your friends and family around you holding your hands, it feels like the road is getting darker, narrower and scary as hell.

You can’t move on, you can’t stop, because you might just be at the false summit and your success story is just around the corner.  You don’t know how long your journey will be…the blisters are beginning to burn and you just can’t figure out why it’s happening.  Giving up is not an option.

You cannot lie, although your friends will give you kind encouraging words and strong hands to keep you going up that mountain, there are no words that can ever compensate for why this is happening.  God’s will…or….it is meant to be….just does not compute or make sense.  The pain will continue to grow, you will cry, you will question yourself….but you will keep swimming.

“Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.  What do we do? We swim, swim.” (Dora, Finding Nemo 2003)

Funny conversations you probably only have when suffering infertility #1

confusingThere are probably a few conversations we will only ever have as a direct result of suffering from infertility.  This particular conversation ended up to be completely random as I feel more comfortable talking about my period with my husband now, so here is how it went….

(Scene – In car on way home from Softball game)

Dani (nonchalantly and randomly not expecting a response from Chris) : “I hate my period, why does my period have to be so sucky?”

Chris: “Does your retroverted uterus effect your period?  If it wasn’t upside down, would that mean your period will happen faster?”

Dani: “Hmmmm well I already suffer from twice as much blood as the daily average, but in half the amount of time, so I don’t think gravity has much of an impact on my blood flow!  But it is a good point…I wonder if gravity impacts periods and whether an upside down uterus means that blood has to be squeezed out rather than gravitationally slowly falling out as it de-lines.  Is this potentially why my period is twice as heavy each day but over and done with in 2 or 3 days?”

Dani picks up iPhone and asks Siri: “Does gravity affect menses?”

Siri replies with several websites, mostly focusing on women in space travel.  It is FASCINATING!!!! So what do you think?  How does a woman have a period in space?

Here is an article from www.thestraightdope.com that fully answered our question and more…EVERY DAY IS A SCHOOL DAY!!!!!

Dear Cecil:

Without gravity, how do female astronauts menstruate while in space?

Cecil replies:

For a while there, Gayle, the question wasn’t how women would menstruate in space but whether it was too risky to find out.

Although the first female cosmonaut, Valentina Tereshkova, had flown inVostok 6 in 1963, women were excluded from the U.S. space program during its early years. The official reason for this was that, as a matter of policy, U.S. astronauts were drawn from the ranks of military test pilots, and all the test pilots were men. If you ask me, though, the real reason was American male panic about women and their mysterious inner workings. Several plane crashes in the 1930s had involved menstruating female pilots, and experts — male experts, of course — suggested that putting a woman with “menstrual disturbances” in the cockpit was an invitation to disaster. Eventually the more hysterical fears receded, but some space medics still harbored serious concerns about menstruation when NASA began planning to put women in space in the 1970s.

From a certain point of view, I suppose, these concerns weren’t completely crazy. When a woman has her period, normally the menstrual flow is forcibly expelled from the cervix. However, given the low-gravity environment of space, some scientists wondered about the possibility of “retrograde menstruation,” the backward flow of menstrual blood up into the fallopian tubes. This occurs sometimes on earth and is thought to lead to endometriosis, a disorder in which tissue that normally lines the uterus grows where it shouldn’t. Prior to the 1983 space shuttle flight by Sally Ride, the first U.S. woman to exit our atmosphere, consultants told NASA that female astronauts should take hormones to manage their menstrual cycles to reduce flow volume and ideally avoid having a period while in space.

Unsurprisingly, to women anyway, most of the anticipated problems never materialized. There’s no evidence retrograde menstruation occurs in space, and even if it did, it probably wouldn’t cause endometriosis: reverse flow seems to trigger this condition only in those who experience it chronically. Returning women astronauts who’ve menstruated in space report that everything worked the way it usually does. The mechanics of a zero-G period haven’t been fully explicated in the scientific literature, but according toPrinciples of Clinical Medicine for Space Flight (2008), astronauts have “access to multiple sanitary products for menstruation, including pads, mini-pads, and tampons in plain and deodorant versions,” and presumably capillary attraction accomplishes what the lack of gravity can’t. (We might have predicted as much, since bedridden women usually menstruate OK.) Incidentally, for times when going to the bathroom is impossible for an extended period, such as launches, spacewalks, and landings, “crewmembers of both sexes have available a maximum absorbency garment (MAG) that can retain up to 2000 ml of urine, blood, or feces.” Not your ideal working conditions, but a small sacrifice to make for the world’s coolest job.

Female astronauts do face some challenges in space. Internal medicine specialist and space buff William Rowe notes that women are more likely to develop decompression sickness during their periods. That’s a problem mostly during space walks, so he suggests any excursion by a woman be timed for a different part of her cycle. Before you peg Rowe as a chauvinist scumbucket, note that he also thinks women are, on the whole, better suited than men to a low-gravity environment. In a 2004 article in the Journal of Men’s Health and Gender, he argues that for long-term space exploration an all-female crew might be the best bet. His reasons:

(1) Menstruation rids the body of iron. That’s a good thing, because space flight can reduce one’s production of a protein that normally sops up excess iron, and “increased free iron can be extremely toxic.”

(2) Women produce a lot more estrogen than men, and they also have lower epinephrine levels. For reasons we needn’t get into, these factors reduce the likelihood of heart attacks and other cardiovascular problems while in space.

(3) Some of the Apollo 15 astronauts experienced pain and swelling of their fingertips while on the surface of the moon. Rowe hypothesizes that this is less likely to happen to women because “estrogen reduces vascular smooth muscle tone.”

It might also be pointed out that women on average take up less room in cramped spacecraft cabins, consume fewer resources, and are more inclined to ask for directions when lost. Finally, to be blunt, who would you rather have up there: female astronauts who, worst case, are hormonally challenged on a fairly predictable schedule once a month, or male astronauts subject to random testosterone attacks any time at all?

We have a start date for IVF!

Today the nurse called me with our IVF schedule…wooohooo!

It looks roughly like this:

Our rough schedule

Our rough schedule

So our first day of stimulation injectibles will be Friday 24 July.  Chris and I both go in to the clinic to fill out the rest of the paper work, pay the $$$, get a lesson on how to do injectibles, receive our medication plan and I will have my first monitoring appointment with ultrasound/ blood work.

I also asked the nurse about the vivelle dot (estrogen patches) and why insurance only covers 8 patches and not the whole 24.   Apparently the use of the patches is “off label” so it is not covered under infertility coverage, therefore I would need to pay for the rest out of pocket.  BUT she did say that usually insurance will cover 8 every 30 days, so I can refill the prescription in 2.5 weeks and the insurance will cover 8 more patches, then I maybe lucky that by the time I need the last 8 it might be another 30 days.  But either way, now we know why and will expect to pay out of pocket for the patches if needs be!

So….just another 11 days of Birth Control Pills! I really hope these don’t mess my hormones up too much :-s