Tag: IUI

Work in Progress…ARTApp

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I successfully completed another module in my Data Science course! Woohoo!! Eight modules down, one to go. Now I have one week off of study, then onto the home straight.  I can’t wait to finish it.

Part of my final project was to develop an online web App; I decided to develop an App that uses the data provided by the CDC on Assisted Reproductive Technology and presents the data in more user friendly way.  I bit off more than I could chew for this project because the data the CDC provides is a bit messy and required some cleaning up in order that I could manipulate it easily.  Now I have ‘cleaned’ the data, I need to spend a bit more time making the visualisation useful.  I got 100% for my project so I passed with flying colours, but I have a lot more to do before I share it with a wider online community.  You can have a sneak preview!

You can see my ARTapp here.  It was supposed to look a bit more like this…

Screen shot of my ARTApp

Screen shot of my ARTApp so far

My idea is that someone can select a state they are interested in, it shows all the fertility clinics in that given state, then the user can select a fertility statistic they are interested in comparing their clinic against the state wide average.  There is also a map of the states that shows the statistic average for each state. This is just a prototype for now, I will keep working at it and include all data available from CDC, not just data for fresh embryos.  Also add in some more interactive charts for looking at ART data over time.

Now, wouldn’t it be good to know what the IUI stats are like too?

View the latest U.S. Fertility Clinic Data

Third time’s a……

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Three Times a Charm

I think I am getting the hang of this IUI thing now.  I understand exactly what is going to happen each day, what drugs to take, what side effect will happen and when, who to speak to on the phone, who NOT to speak to on phone, how to ask for what I want, how to make myself understood, how to refill my various prescriptions, what bills to expect, even what emotions I am probably going to feel on this roller coaster of a cycle.  For example, I am on Cycle Day 4, and having taken two 2.5mg of Letrozole last night at 7pm, I knew at approximately 4pm Today I was going to be mega sleepy.  And I was! Where I work, if you have done something more than twice you are considered an expert, so I’m going to declare myself “IUI Subject Matter Expert” on my “CV of life”.  I’m feeling quite chilled out about it all, that is except for one, teeny, tiny, annoying thing.

INSURANCE.

The thorn in my side right now.  Needles have nothing compared to this pain in the….

You may recall before we started IUI that my insurance company wrongly stated that I did not need pre-approval for IUI treatment.  It was only after I started my first cycle all became apparent that we needed pre-approval before any fertility treatment.  Since then, we have been trying to get things straight with our insurance company.  I am not entirely blaming the insurance company here.  I am blaming ‘the system’.

It seemed so simple, our insurance company required copies of our medical records to determine pre-approval for our IUI treatment.  Well that’s easy! No? Fertility clinic – please provide our insurance company with our medical records.  “No problem, we will get the nurse right on that” they said.  Well each week we chased them, they claimed no knowledge of this request, but wait, what is this? …oh there is a note in our records to do this.  Hmmmmmm.  At our last appointment 2.5 weeks ago, the nurse promised us the request to send the medical files was with their business team and they were going to action it that day.  Well it turned out that was all bull.  No medical records were ever sent because we had to fill out a release ‘form’.  And after the number of people we spoke to try to make this happen, not one person mentioned a form.  Things also got complicated when the fertility clinic realised that our insurance’s medical office is located in Belgium.  This would be impossible! Sending medical records abroad – there are different laws for this. They were not quite sure how they are going to do it,  come on, surely there is a form for that too!  How about I google it, I bet google knows the answer.

So after we hit this road block, Chris tried a different approach.  He has given the half completed ‘pre-approval’ forms to our insurance company to chase up with our fertility clinic.  When my insurance company emailed me this morning to say could I please provide them with a contact number for my doctor, oh, by the way we would need approval for each round of IVF….I flipped!  As you can imagine we had dutifully and carefully provided a contact number and address, but most importantly, it clearly stated on the form the treatment was IUI.  I even provided them with a breakdown of all the costs for each procedure and medication.  Aghhhhhhhhh!

I have no idea what is going on right now, but it is all now in the hands of the insurance company and our fertility clinic to figure our laws, methods of handling medical records, procedures, money and what not.  Why couldn’t we have got to this stage two months ago?  At this rate we will probably get our “pre-approval” for IUI after we have finished all three rounds of IUI!

Without pre-approval we have paid for our first round of IUI out of our pockets and hoping we will be able to claim some money back.  Soon the bills will be coming in for the second round of treatment.  It would be nice if they figured it out before then.  My worst nightmare is that they deny the claim because there was a small test we had to do or form we had to complete before we started with the IUI.  There is little advice the insurance company can provide us on whether we are covered or not until they have our medical records.  Similarly, they can’t answer if we are covered for IVF until they see our medical records.  This makes financial planning for the future a little challenging.  But we are planning for the worst, just to be safe.

I should point out that we do have a rather strange insurance arrangement – because my organisation is international, Allianz, our insurance company, provides coverage for all staff across the various countries.  Allianz uses United Healthcare as their service provider in the US to purely deal with admin for claims made in the USA and negotiate in network deals with providers.  This makes things complicated for medical providers here in the US when we try to explain that they have to provide medical records to Allianz, not United Healthcare.  I hope I didn’t lose you there!

Third time...

Third time…

So to sum up today’s post – Insurance sucks and starting IUI cycle 3 is going to be a breeze.  As the saying goes….third time lucky!  Or….third time a charm!  Let’s hope it’s not like the other google search term on the list above – third time out :-s

Lost: one unopened clear blue digital pregnancy test

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Today was meant to be the day that I unwrapped the ‘highly Gyn/Ob recommended’ Clear Blue Digital pregnancy test.  But it’s currently ‘Missing In Action’, I couldn’t find it…I know it’s in the house somewhere, I just can’t remember where I hid it from myself.  Incidentally, I bought it about 7 months ago.  Do these things go out of date?  Oh well…it doesn’t matter because Aunt Flo arrived anyway.

I would like to thank Aunt Flo for the big glass of Wine I shall enjoy this evening and the trip to Busch Gardens now planned for tomorrow – and I am going to go on ALL the rides, many times over, probably until I am sick and dizzy.

Infertility, you sure do suck, but today I am not pregnant and I am going to enjoy this short time of drug free freedom (except the good good Ibuprofen to help alleviate my period pains).  Yes I cried with Chris early this morning, but now I am more determined than ever – whatever is stopping us from getting pregnant – we will overcome it, together.  Round 3 – Ding Ding!

TTFN X

(TaTah For Now)

Can your cat tell if you are pregnant before you do?

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Several months ago I googled ‘can cats tell if you are pregnant?’.  My female 3 year old cat, Sushi, was being overly affectionate just around the time I was coming close to pregnancy testing time.  It turned out I wasn’t pregnant that month, so I kind of forgot about it and didn’t think much more of it.  But two nights ago I had BOTH of my cats on my bed snuggling up to me.  This is very unusual because Diesel, my male 9 month old kitten, tends to push Sushi off the bed as soon as he realises she is on the bed with me.  So as it is close to pregnancy testing time again, I wondered about this question again and decided to research a bit more into it.  So what did I discover? Can cats tell if you are pregnant?

The Research is thin.  It is evident that cats can detect smells and vapours that are invisible to humans, after all they have 10 to 20 times more sensory receptors in their noses than humans (but not quite as many as dogs, who are far superior in this respect).  But I have yet to find any evidence that associates a cat’s ability to detect pregnancy – I could not find anything that even looks vaguely scientific.  I even tried google scholar, but found little of significance.  There is, however, a lot of discussion online about the subject, and is well discussed in forums and pregnancy related websites, the evidence is purely anecdotal.

Cats detecting cancer.  So what can cats sniff out?  Apparently, cats can detect cancer.  It turns out that there has been some research into understanding dogs’ talents in sniffing out cancer, but evidence for cats’ ability to sniff out cancer is again, anecdotal.  This is mostly because you can train a dog, but it’s a lot harder to train a cat!  So research can be difficult to undertake with cats in this respect.  However, there are stories about cats who have detected cancer before the owner even knew about it. For example, Fidge the cat constantly lay on her owner’s right breast for two weeks.  When her owner went to the doctor, they found a pea sized lump in her breast, which may have killed her if it had not been for Fidge.

Amazing stories of heroic cats using their nose.  On my scavange for evidence I came across some other lovely stories of cats who have saved their owner’s lives with the use of their ‘spidey senses noses’.

Oscar.  In time, staff at the nursing home began to rely on Oscar as an “early warning system” announcing to those present that it was time to notify family and increase hospice services for those close to death (More about Oscar here).

Basil.  As gas fumes leaked from the kitchen stove top, Basil began to swat his owner’s face as she lay in bed, trying to get her to get up and recognise the problem.  After an hour of his persistent behaviour, Basil’s nose saved the day.

Tee Cee.  This cat can detect when his owner is about to have an epileptic seizure attack.  Tee Cee sits next to his owner and stares at his face, indicating an episode is about to occur, allowing him and his partner to prepare for the attack in time.

So, my dear cats – are you clever enough to detect pregnancy before my pee stick does?  Just a couple more days to find out for sure…Watch this space!

Diesel - the 'Terrorquisitive kittie'

Diesel – the ‘Terrorquisitive kittie’

Sushi AKA 'lady muck'

Sushi AKA ‘lady muck’

Reflections upon being pregnant in a war zone – what scares me

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The big question: why did I write about something that happened way back in 2007?  Why did I open up some old wounds by writing and thinking about when I was pregnant in Iraq? For the most part, it’s because I drove for four hours on my own, so I had plenty of time to think.  Very dangerous, I know!  Thinking AND driving!  But actually, it is because I have a fear, a fear of being pregnant again.  It sounds rather silly writing it down on an infertility blog. But of course I want to be pregnant more than anything in the world, but this fear is about suffering the ‘side effects’ of severe morning sickness like I did before in 2007.

Hypermesis Education & Research Foundation

Hyperemesis Education & Research Foundation

Last time I was pregnant I suffered severe morning sickness (also known as Hyperemesis gravidarum) and horrific abdominal pains (compared to my normal Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) pains, these were what I considered to be horrific anyway!)  The worst of the symptoms lasted for over three weeks and the nausea continued until the end of my pregnancy of 10 weeks.  There was no way I could have worked during this period.  But to what extent were those symptoms as a result of the environment and conditions I was experiencing at the time – heat, exhaustion, stress, poor food quality and choice?

When Chris and I first met with our Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE), Chris asked her if my previous pregnancy could be a clue as to why we were not pregnant yet.  I didn’t think it would be so I hadn’t mentioned the severe morning sickness in my questionnaire.  The RE did confirm that it was not likely to be associated.  But, now that I think about it, perhaps it wasn’t such a silly question after all.  Because quite frankly, any explanation to our fertility troubles would be nice right now.  I’m quite bored of asking ‘Why me??’

Today I am 12 Days Past IUI number 2 (12DPIUI#2), and so far potential symptoms of pregnancy:

  • Short sharp cramps just around both sides of my ovaries
  • Sharp cramp like pains under the left side and right side of my ribs.
  • Sore boobs, but not tender to touch, just achey.
  • Today I have felt a little nauseous, but Chris has had a funny tummy today, so potentially we ate something funny.

And that is it, not much to go by, but the sharp pains reminded me of my previous pregnancy so I have been more positive about this cycle so far.  Just two more days to go til the big test.

I am afraid to be pregnant but want to be pregnant more than anything.

And that sums up my emotional roller coaster right now 🙂 /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/——

IUI #2 off to a better start than #1

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Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) round 2 is off to a better start than the first one – we think anyway.

A matter of timing

The first round of IUI was, of course, all new to us.  I had taken an ultrasound on the Friday (Cycle Day 11), took an Ovidrel Shot to stimulate ovulation on Saturday evening, and had IUI on Monday (CD 14).  At the time we wondered whether the IUI procedure too late because my clinic are not open on Sundays we could not do IUI that day, the Doctor had indicated that I needed the IUI procedure early on Monday, rather than later as my follicles were rather large.  I had a positive result from my ovulation predictor kit on the Sunday morning, the day BEFORE the IUI.  I simply thought that this was the Ovidrel in action, and the doctor had everything timed well.  But now we are suspicious that all this meant is that the IUI was too late….

THIS time around for cycle 2 it was a slightly different story.  I had my ultrasound on the Thursday (Cycle Day 11) and I had slightly smaller follicles, but big enough to go ahead with the IUI.  I took the Ovidrel shot on the Thursday evening, and had IUI on Saturday (CD 13).  This time, I got a positive result from my ovulation predictor kit on the morning of the IUI, Saturday morning.  This makes me believe that we were too late last time around as it seems that the Ovidrel doesn’t interfere with ovulation predictor kits.  This cycle I decided to monitor my Basal Body Temperature (BBT) for the first time ever.  Today, Sunday (CD 14) I got a spike in my temperature confirming my suspicions that I most likely ovulated yesterday.  Woohooooo!  This cycle, it feels that the IUI procedure was better timed.  I was also having horrible ovulation pains on the way to the clinic and all day yesterday.  A good sign?

The sperm stats low down

Another excellent sperm sample Mr C!

  • semen volume: 1.2mL
  • Sperm Concentration: 129 million per mL
  • Percent motile: 51.9%
  • Number of motile sperm: 80.3 million
  • After washing (centrifugation)
  • Number of motile sperm in vial: 72.5 million
  • Motility:  86.8%
  • volume of vial: 5mL
  • recovery rate for processes sample: 90.2%

The IUI procedure

As we were a bit more knowledgeable about the whole procedure this time around so the whole appointment took about 20 minutes, of which 15 minutes I was laying down on my back resting whilst the sperm figure out which direction they need to swim in. Chris joked we knew that about 15% of the sperm were just swimming around in circles, confused, not knowing what to do with themselves.

The doctor was a new one for me – a sweet lady who seemed very happy for an early Saturday morning!  I asked Chris later if I had just been treated for the first time by someone younger than me.  Eeeek we are getting old! But he believed she was actually in her mid thirties, so not much older than us.  The doctor was very kind and kept apologizing for any pain she might cause.  She told me she would use the smallest speculum and the smallest catheter possible so it wouldn’t hurt.  This made me wonder whether all this time other doctors purposefully use big speculums and catheters out of choice!  She was good at explaining everything she was doing.  She put the (smallest!) speculum into my vagina (No lubricant because this kills sperm).  She told me she was going to open the speculum up and I might feel some pressure.  Which I did, but it did not hurt.  After this she inserted the catheter into my uterus via the cervix and the sperm was injected via the catheter directly into my uterus. I barely felt a thing and it was over with in less than 2 minutes.  I had no cramping until later in the day.

Here is a short 2 minute 3D animation of how IUI works.

The nurse set a 15 minute timer and I lay down on the bed feeling a bit surreal. This time the 15 minutes went much quicker than last time because we spent it talking about our next holiday – a road trip to the West (Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Santa Fe etc).  We have been planning on going in October, but have been waiting for the last 4 months to see if we were pregnant before we book anything.  This will be the last cycle we wait before we book it.  No more holding off!

Naughty Gift – no not that kind of naughty

The morning of the IUI I decided to give Chris a gift I bought him a few weeks ago.  I have declared before that I believe it is unlucky to buy baby name books, pregnancy books, baby clothes etc before actually conceiving.  But seeing as we have been unlucky so far I thought we cant possibly have any more bad luck so what the hell, I bought a pregnancy book for men.  It’s a slightly funny book with interesting facts about pregnancy.  I couldn’t resist!  But I won’t buy anything else.  I just wanted to get him something we can share together along this journey.

My naughty gift to Chris

My naughty gift to Chris

2 Week Wait and greasy progesterone suppositories here we come!

When using the counting method…

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If you use then counting method with your partner when injecting you with your hormone of choice…you should agree in advance at what number you are finishing the injection at! Especially if you choose not to watch.

Last night was Ovidrel shot time.  As Chris counted down, I moved away at 3, he was planning on going to 4, as I wasn’t looking – ouch!! I moved away just as he was pulling the needle out of my abdomen.  I Was a tad sore afterwards and still am 😦

By the way. I decided to read the bumpf that comes with the ovidrel injection. Under the section about how ovidrel is made it says…

The production process involves expansion of genetically modified Chinese Hamster Ovary (CHO) cells from an extensively characterized cell bank into large scale cell culture processing…

This tickled me, does it have to be from the Ovaries of a Chinese Hamster? Could it be from the ovaries of a Russian Hamster? But they are fluffier so maybe not…

Cycle Day 11 Ultrasound – its’s go go go for IUI #2

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Today I went in for my Cycle Day 11 Ultrasound to check my uterine lining and follicle maturation.  The doctor was a little more smiley today than the last time she performed the ultrasound.  I felt a little more at ease this time around.

So here are the results from my ultrasound:

8mm Uterine lining – that’s apparently very good

3 follicles in total: 2 in the left ovary, 23mm & 16mm in size and 1 in the right ovary, 25mm.  All three looked good.  So more of a chance of multiples than last time :-s, but it is a risk we agreed to take.

Chris asked the doctor about the last cycle where two of my follicles were a bit bigger, were we too late and missed our chance?  But the doctor said that with letrozole, follicle size can be up to 28mm.

Tonight we get to do the ovidrel injection and then IUI is scheduled for 0800 Saturday morning. Woohoo!!! (but not woohoo to the injection though, that stuff is just mean).

French women don’t get fat, even the pregnant ones

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There is a saying that you won’t find a fat woman in Paris. In my two day work trip to Paris, it’s something I observed to be absolutely true. Even the pregnant ones are slim; they just have a big round protruding tummy, doing what it should do, providing a cosy home for a baby to grow and develop in – but not an ounce of fat to be seen. I want to know their secrets. I need to know their secrets! This got me thinking about jealousy and pregnant women.

The past week has been one of those weeks where I have met three pregnant women. It’s kind of like buses in London – you never just get one bus at a time, three always arrive together after you have been waiting an hour. I like talking to pregnant women about their experiences and how they feel because I like to hear it from the horse’s mouth what this pregnancy thing is going to be like! I can read all about it, but it’s so much more interesting listening to my pregnant friends and family. Sure, there is a part of me that feels a teeny bit sad that I’m not pregnant right now, but my feelings are far more consumed with excitement and nervousness about what is to come. If it is a close friend or family member who is pregnant, my excitement for them is a gazillion times more because at the end of their pregnancy a beautiful baby is born waiting to be loved and I want to share that love with them, I look forward to falling in love with them.

I read an interesting blog article about being a ‘child-full’ couple rather than a ‘child-less’ couple; parts of the article I related to for how I feel when I find out my close friends and family are pregnant. Whatever happens in the future, I want us to be a ‘child-full’ couple. But there is one difficulty I have when it comes to being around pregnant women. When it is an acquaintance or colleague who is pregnant I feel less inclined to be excited for them, and I find them hard to talk about their pregnancy.  My jealousy far outweighs my interest in their pregnancy and their baby. Wow, how mean does that sound? But it is the truth and this is how I honestly feel right now.

This week I found out a friend of ours was 22 weeks pregnant, we had not seen her since before Christmas, and she had not announced it officially, so it came as a surprise when she visited our house for dinner with a big bump!! When she pulled up in our drive in her new car, I joked that she must have some exciting news to tell us because she has bought a brand new ‘soccer mom car’. Quickly our other friend who was unaware that we did not know our friend was pregnant quickly updated us that she was having twins! And wham bam without any digestion of this awesome new news our friend walked in with a huge bump! Last time we saw her before Christmas she was pregnant, but not noticeably and obviously not sharing the news because it was her first trimester. I had a lot of happiness for her because we had talked before Christmas about her plans to expand their family (I must not have been reading the ‘I’m pregnant’ subtle signals back then!!!). Our friend explained her recent shock of discovering at 20 weeks that she was having twins, there had been no indication at her 10 week scan. What a big surprise!! I had a variety of feelings for her when she talked about her pregnancy so far – nervousness for her, twins are a risky business – excitement that she will have two adorable babies to love – fearful for her sanity and how she will manage if her husband is posted the other side of the country, – general happiness that her family plan as going, well, to plan! So this pregnant lady was news where my excitement far outweighed any jealousy I might have.

Later in that week my husband and I went for dinner round his friend’s house. I have met this couple only once before, they are more my husband’s friends than mine; I hear a lot about them and what they are up to, but personally I don’t really know them. They are currently 28 weeks pregnant with their second child. As we were driving to their house for dinner, Chris mentioned that he hadn’t told his friends about our fertility treatment, and he asked if I would be happy talking about it if it came up. I agreed that it was OK to talk about it if the conversation flowed to it. The evening was lovely, and as usual I took my opportunity to quiz them about their pregnancy experiences so far (I hope I didn’t come across as annoying asking questions!). Their 2 year old daughter spent most of her time in either Chris’s or my lap, wanting to play with us or just cuddle, she was an adorable friendly girl, a little cutie indeed. We had a fun evening, some interesting topics of conversation, lots of laughter and good food. But despite this, throughout the evening I realized that I still did not know this couple well enough to talk about any fertility treatment we were having – I thought it would be awkward, for me mostly, just because they are pregnant. So any topic that headed towards our plans of trying to conceive were vehemently steered away from (well I consciously did anyway, I haven’t spoken to Chris about that yet), it just didn’t feel right. However, as my second meeting with a pregnant lady in one week, with this pregnant lady I felt a little more jealousy brewing inside of me and I am not really sure why.

Travelling for work to Europe has its ups and downs

Travelling for work to Europe has its ups and downs

The third pregnant lady I met this week in Paris was my new colleague. A couple of days ago I wrote about how I had a dilemma about what to tell my new team (who I will be working with over the next 1.5 years) regarding my departure one day earlier than planned. My plans were amended after I found out my Cycle Day 11 ultrasound would be on the day of my return from Paris. After I wrote my blog, I spent the morning travelling from Charles De Gaul airport into Paris city centre plucking up the courage to be more bold and open about why I was going to leave a day early. My new team (a virtual team) were all relatively new acquaintances, so I was nervous, but had pretty much committed myself to being open. I had little to lose. But all of that went out the window when I arrived to discover that one of my new team members was pregnant. As I did not know the lady very well I did not want to create any awkward feelings within the team. Maybe it wouldn’t have been awkward, but I didn’t want to risk that with our new team going through the forming and storming stages of working together. I made my excuses and told the leader that I was very sorry to have to leave early for an unavoidable doctor’s appointment. He didn’t ask any more questions, thankfully, and all went well. With this pregnant lady I felt immense jealousy. When we went for lunch and sushi was suggested there was that moment when everyone cared and realized their error in suggesting sushi to a pregnant lady. I wanted that to be me. When she turned down wine at dinner. I wanted that to be me. When the next meeting was discussed to meet again in 6 months’ time. I wanted that to be me, saying I probably wouldn’t be able to make it because I would be busy with my new born baby. And it wasn’t me. Despite this jealousy, I do hope that someday soon I can share those moments and experiences with my new colleague because she is very nice and we have a lot in common. So I was not jealous of her, I just wanted it to be me, and I saw that this could be me in the not so far future. And that was kind of cool.

So let’s get this TTC show on the road, IUI #2 – tomorrow I get to find out how many follicles I have grown this cycle – and the best part is that Chris will be there this time at the ultrasound, I‘m very excited!

Ps.  If you ever go to Paris – the skinny women, the free flowing good wine, flaky, buttery pastries and creamy, chocolatey tartes, rich creamy sauces – this is no place for a lady on a diet (I’m not actually on a diet, but after the last couple of days I think I’m going to need to go on one!)

Welcome and unwelcome advice

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I read a lot of other blogs and forum posts where people suffering from sub fertility have had bad experiences with unwelcome advice from friends, colleagues, families and even strangers.  I have been lucky enough to not had any unwelcome advice from people I have confided in.  In fact, I have been overwhelmed with the love and support we have been offered in return for confiding in our journey to conceive.  Am I lucky or have I just been super careful to who I tell?

I asked my husband if he had any unwelcome advice so far….he has been very open with our journey with his work colleagues, so I was intrigued if they have been helpful or unintentionally upsetting?  (My husband is tough skinned though, so he can take a lot and not take things to heart like I can quite as easily).  Apparently, he has only had one bad experience where he felt like he wanted to punch his colleague in the face, but it was surely unintentional.

We have had amazing support and advice which has been welcome so far…but to what extent do you risk putting yourself out there to get hurt by a friend’s unwelcome advice (unintentionally, of course, it’s not their fault, they don’t know)?  For example, this week I am on my work travels in Paris, but I have had to cut my trip short by one day for my CD 12 ultrasound – how do I explain this to my work colleagues?  So far only two people at my work know about our journey.  Worst of all, how do I explain it to a group of people I am just about to meet and work with for the next year and a half? I am having moments of bravery, where I fell like just coming out with straight away:

“I’m very sorry I have to leave a day early, I have an important medical appointment back in the US – oh no, nothing serious, it’s just that my husband and I are going through fertility treatment”

Hmmmmm, doesn’t sound very professional. But I don’t want to lie either. I have approximately two hours to figure this out before I meet the group.

My conundrum is not really about sounding unprofessional, but more about exposing myself to unwelcome advice from colleagues I barely know. I probably wouldn’t want to punch them in the face, but I would probably want to run away and cry. And when I cry, it takes hours for my face to return to a normal colour again!

I’ll let you know how it goes and what I decided to do!