The pudding club

May 22, 201636 Comments

It’s been almost a week since I was on here…that’s not like me. I have been hiding from the world a little bit. It’s been a really hard week to get through. My first scan looming over my head. Would there be a baby? Would there be a heartbeat? I’ve had lots of lovely messages wishing me luck – but all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep, avoid polite conversation, time to fly.

Thursday morning I felt numb to the world. Fortunately I was busy at work so the afternoon appointment came around quickly. Chris met me at the clinic, he was already there in the waiting room, patiently waiting for me. I felt sick to my stomach. This was it! We didn’t have to wait long before we were called back. The nurse took my vitals (weight and blood pressure), then we went into the ultrasound room together. I sat up on the bed and before I had to time to wonder more about the possibilities my doctor walked in. I don’t really remember what she said to me, but like I had been all week I’d had enough with the small talk.

As soon as the ultrasound wand was in me we could see my extremely hyper stimulated ovaries….I had many huge follicles still – like two times the size of the ones I am used to seeing during stimulation phase. My doctor exclaimed my ‘hyper’ situation, and I said, yes, I have been feeling them 😦 And then she found a sac, zoomed in and there was a little blob on the screen! I was holding my breath as she found the heart beat – and there it was 144 beats per minute (BPM). I just cried. She measured the size of it and it was measuring 2 days behind at 7 weeks 2 days, I was technically 7 weeks 4 days, but she said that was close enough!

As I sobbed, Chris asked what happens next and my Doctor said we now graduate to my OBGYN! Oh…I don’t have one since we moved to the US and went straight from our family doctor to the fertility clinic. Then Chris said we need to find one near our new house…to which I corrected him and he said – “no, we got the house today!” I couldn’t believe it, he was telling me right there that we got the house we wanted and he had the call from our realtor an hour or so before the appointment. Cue even more tears from me and excited happy doctors & nurse in the room. What a day for good big news. I hugged my doctor and nurse and thanked them with tears running down my face! It was surreal as I walked out into the waiting room with my face red from tears, I am sure people couldn’t tell if it was good or bad news I just received!! And that was it…we left our clinic realising we wouldn’t be back too soon.

Finally I’m in the pudding club – for real! I’ve been in a bit of shock, but I am embracing the pregnancy now. I believe it is happening. This is our time. We have even agreed to give the blob a nickname – Rocky – our little fighter. It also looked a bit rock like on the scan 😉

I realised I needed to find an OBGYN quick that works with the hospital we wanted to give birth at, so I did my research and made my first pre-natal appointment in the ‘normal’ world. My first appointment and next scan will be at 10w2d – a little later than they like, but it was the earliest they could fit me in. I’ve also been allowed to switch to progesterone oral capsules (but taken transvaginally) – these little things cost over $380 for 1 month’s worth! Completely different to the progesterone in oil which cost only about $90!!! But I am sure it will be worth it so I don’t have to inject myself whilst travelling again (I’m off to Turkey tomorrow – not looking forward to this trip at all).

This week has been such an emotional roller coaster – and yet on the face of it, it has been easy…we have no complications. Just when we thought this was the end…

IVF Diary Vol III: 29 Apr 16 – Stage 1 complete

April 29, 201669 Comments

Medication(s) administered and dosage(s). 13DP5DT (13 days past 5 Day Transfer) Prove time! PM Progesterone in Oil 1ml Intra-muscular injection, vivelle dot estrogen patches 0.1mg x2.

Medical procedures undertaken. Beta hCG blood test – AKA THE PREGNANCY TEST!

Any results? We are pregnant! Last night I got back from DC, Chris was already at home, I asked him – “Are you ready to do this?”. He nodded nervously. So we went to the toilet together and I peed on the stick, turning it the wrong way round so I couldn’t see the window. I left it on the counter top for a minute or so, and we turned it over together. 2 lines! Woohoo!!! Except it was kind of a weird experience. It wasn’t quite like last time when I was really excited. It was like….OK, this is a good step forward….but now we have to wait and see what my levels come back tomorrow.

the test line was darker than the control line!

Today the doctor called with my results (it wasn’t my doctor who called) – he is a straight talking kind of man. There is absolutely no beating around the bush with him, he tells it like it is (he gave me the news that our first pregnancy was not viable and he was pretty blunt with us). He said he had positive news! OK I like positive news! He then mumbled something about my hCG levels, I asked him to repeat what he said because he wasn’t clear (he has a foreign accent), he said it was a nice high level that they like to see of 485! My progesterone and estrogen levels were good too. When I got of the phone I was a little disappointed, I was hoping for a little higher being 13DP5DT….but then after a while I reminded myself that this first number doesn’t matter so much (it’s higher than last time so that’s good!), it will be the next number that tells us the likelihood of this pregnancy having a chance!

What are my symptoms? So I have pretty much been certain I am pregnant since the return of my OHSS symptoms earlier this week. My belly sticks out ridiculously – I have put on 7″ round my belly. The area beneath my ribs and belly button are painful if I bend over, or try to get in and out of bed. I am feeling nauseous – not sure if that is pregnancy related or OHSS related. I couldn’t eat more than 5 spoonfuls of my porridge this morning. I have had lots of sharp pains. I’ve also had period type pains. I have an unquenchable thirst. I am peeing about 30 times a day.

How do I feel today? I am excited to be moving onto the next stage! But having some reflections back to IVF cycle 1. We lived in this ignorant bliss for 5 days last time. This time is a whole lot different. We are definitely in a better position than cycle 1 so I am trying to keep positive, it’s just hard not to think about what happened to my body last time we saw those two pink lines.

What’s next? Wednesday is beta #2! Is it Wednesday yet?

The Final Countdown!!!

*Notes. I take First Response Reproductive Health multi vitamin gummies (pre-natal), 5mg Melatonin at bed time and CoQ10 200mg gummies, and Pur-absorb iron supplements daily. NSTR = Nothing Significant To Report.

Reblog: Be your own advocate. Listen to your gut. Know your body —

April 26, 20162 Comments

Day 3 of the Bloggers Unite Conference and Bri from dreamingofdiapers.com explains the importance of being our own advocates and asking questions to our OBGYNs and Reproductive Endocrinologists. For me I certainly have learned that Doctors can get into their set ways of thinking and have certain biases (I wrote about this a while ago), sometimes they simply forget you are first time IVF patient, generally forget things, or apply a ‘catch all model’ to your infertility treatment. So asking the right questions can help us all move forward on our path to our long desired babies. Bri is currently pregnant with her sister as a gestational carrier/surrogate, she has some amazingly interesting perspectives… so you should go check out her blog! But first read her post for National Infertility Awareness Week link below….

There are so many topics that we could talk about with the hashtag #StartAsking but my focus will be about being an advocate for yourself and asking questions to your ObGyn or Reproductive Endocrinologist. When you are trying to have a child, many questions go through your mind. Some of you ask and some […]

continue to read more here…. #niaw Day 3, Be your own advocate. Listen to your gut. Know your body —

Reblog: Bloggers Unite Conference, Day 2 – Lawmakers and Legislators

April 25, 2016Leave a comment

Day 2 of the Bloggers Unite conference! Whoop Whoop!! Here are my thoughts on today’s blog!

Denise blogs for National Infertility Awareness Week about how we should #StartAsking our lawmakers, legislators and researchers to spend more time, money and effort to find ways to improve infertility care. She makes some really interesting points in her blog post – currently only 10 clinical trials related to infertility are listed on www.clintrials.gov in comparison to 4126 trials related to breast cancer (BTW – the statistics for breast cancer is 1 in 8 women will develop it at some point in their life time. Yes – I know infertility doesn’t kill! But in terms of trying to understand a disease it is an interesting comparison of levels of research). Denise also struggles with unexplained infertility – great minds think alike! (See my post from yesterday) Take a look at her post below….

Three years, three surgeries, two doctors, four donors, one biospy, eight IUIs, one fresh IVF cycle and one frozen embryo transfer later and we are still on the road to parenthood. We knew this was not going to be easy but never in my life did I believe it would be this difficult. As we […]

…continue reading…. #niaw Bloggers Unite Conference, Day 2 – Lawmakers and Legislators —

Thank you to Chiemi at www.misconceptioncoach.com for organising the conference! It’s been great to meet other like minded bloggers 🙂

Why can’t we make a baby? #NIAW

April 24, 20165 Comments

Why? Why me? Why can’t I make a baby like all my other friends and family? I have so many questions about why after almost 2.5 years of trying to conceive and failing miserably, month after month. What have I done to cause this? Why won’t my body just get pregnant? What am I doing wrong?

It’s human nature to want to know why things happen. But these are the type of questions that run through my head round and round, continuously ever since we decided to grow our family. I have yet to answer any of these questions. It is exhausting.

Chris and I are 1 in 8 couples of child bearing age in the US that struggle with the disease that is infertility. We tried the good old fashioned way – sex – for 11 months before we went to seek specialist help from a reproductive endocrinologist doctor after we discovered that Chris’s testosterone levels were “below normal”. It turned out for us that testosterone levels do not actually matter that much when it comes to fertility. Chris actually had super sperm, and lots of them! But it did lead us to start the typical tests for diagnosing infertility.

We thanked our lucky stars that all our test results came back normal – there was nothing seriously wrong with either of us. In fact, we passed all our tests with flying colours, we were top of the class! But this put us into the category that 20% of infertile couples are diagnosed with – unexplained infertility. This meant that the doctors could not tell us why we hadn’t been successful so far in trying to conceive the way they teach you at school. We were about to embark on a journey that was going to take us beyond what they taught us at school – we were going to try to get pregnant with medical assistance. We were heading into the world of the unknown. We knew little to nothing about infertility.

At first it was difficult to explain to our friends and family why we were seeking treatment, because there was nothing ‘technically’ wrong with us. The infertility was inexplicable! It was embarrassing, it was awkward to explain. So this is why I started this blog, to help us get over this difficulty in explaining what we were doing and why, as well as helping to explain our feelings about our disease in general.

Unexplained infertility in someways has been a good thing – there is always hope that this treatment will work. But ultimately it is difficult to accept that there is just no known reason that this isn’t working for us. In some cases, going through medically assisted treatment for infertility can reveal the explanation of a couple’s infertility. But in our case, after 3 IUIs (Artificial Insemination) and 3 cycles of IVF (In-Vitro Fertilisation), 1 suspected ectopic pregnancy, and over $90k of medical bills we are none the wiser as to why we do not have a baby in our arms yet.

Conception is a wondrous act of nature, but it is also an incredibly complex process – there have to be many stars in line for a healthy baby to be born. For something that is the very basis of our human race’s existence, we still know very little about the disease that prevents us from growing our families. It’s incredible, right?

I am currently in the dreaded two week wait of our third (and final) IVF cycle. If this cycle fails, apart from being devastated, I do not know how we will ever be able to move forward without knowing why this has happened, why medical treatment didn’t work for us. Our infertility will never leave us.

For National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), the national non-profit infertility organisation Resolve is promoting this year’s theme #StartAsking. The theme is about promoting the questions that we want to be answered, whether this is asking for our Employers to provide insurance coverage, asking for legislation that supports family building options or asking our friends and family to support us. For me, the one question I have and want to raise more awareness about is to:

#StartAsking for more targeted research on unexplained infertility.

Perhaps if we can understand more about how or why some couples are infertile, then better focused medical interventions can be developed to defeat infertility.

I want answers!!!! But we won’t ever get answers if we don’t talk about infertility and unexplained infertility. It shouldn’t be a secret. We can do this by speaking openly about infertility, by getting organisations like Resolve to help raise our community’s voice and build awareness.

If you would like to know more about infertility, please visit Resolve.org.

If you would like to help, you can contribute by fundraising or donating for Resolve. Or just comment below with your questions and thoughts to join in the discussion!

IVF Diary Vol III: 20-24 Apr 16

April 24, 2016April 24, 201610 Comments

Medication(s) administered and dosage(s). 8DP5DT (8 days past 5 Day Transfer) PM Progesterone in Oil 1ml Intra-muscular injection, vivelle dot estrogen patches 0.1mg x2.

These injections do not get any easier!! Fortunately (for me) the past two evenings Chris has been doing the injecting part. Kudos to him. It doesn’t get any easier for him. He had a nervous laughing fit the other night after he pierced my skin and was starting to inject, and I was trying hard not to laugh at him (I didn’t want my muscles to tense up or to shake the needle around as it was inside me!!!). Nope, it doesn’t get easier.

Medical procedures undertaken. Nil!

Any results? Apart from finding out I needed to be taking iron supplements, I wrote a post about that and had a brief ‘freak out’ moment of feeling like maybe I had a chance to improve my egg quality. But that was silly, and I realise that now. I did go out and buy some iron supplements. I bought it in liquid form because I find the majority of pills hard to stomach (there is something about the pill lining they use that makes me puke them back up). Basically the supplement tastes like I am swallowing a tablespoon of blood. BLEUGHHHHHHH.

What are my symptoms? Yesterday I struggled with my OHSS symptoms. We had a nice day out watching a parade and going to a festival that celebrates NATO. But it’s really the first time I have been out and about for a significant amount of time not sitting down. We then went to the shops and after about an hour my stomach was in pain. I just needed to sit! I was also incredibly thirsty all day, nothing could quench my thirst!!! Last night I got up to pee FIVE times!!!! I also found it hard to get in and out of bed each time because of my hugely bloated painful tummy. I am a little worried that my OHSS has done a U turn and rather than getting better is now getting worse. This could mean I am pregnant though because OHSS can get worse as my body starts to produce hCG after the embryo implants. It’s something I’ve been told to watch out for….If things don’t subside today then tomorrow is my last chance to go in for an ultrasound before I am supposed to be back in DC – I don’t want to be getting worse whilst I am away from home! I am going to take it easy today though, maybe I just over did it yesterday.

How do I feel today? It has been really hard not to pee on a stick the past few days. Especially yesterday with my symptoms developing as they were I just felt like I might see a positive! And so now I have my expectations set high, I’m terrified to be wrong and see a blank white space on that pregnancy test. So I haven’t done it. I looked back and compared my symptoms from cycle 1 (BFP – positive) to cycle 2 (BFN – negative) and actually I seemed to have experienced similar symptoms in both cycles. I guess it is that damn progesterone and estrogen making me feel like this!

Chris told me that if this cycle fails he wants to wait several months before transferring our final frozen embryo. Which I understand why he feels like that. But I feel differently about it. I said we should have this conversation later and not now. I need to be positive, I need to be hopeful right now, I want this to work so so much I can’t even think beyond this. Last cycle I was OK with thinking about the future and what’s next because I knew we could always give IVF another try. This time for me is different. I know there isn’t a next IVF. I know this to me is all or nothing.

What’s next? Friday is test time – in between all that I have a work trip to DC to occupy me and keep me busy! This does mean I will be doing more injections on my own 😦 and Chris will be on his own in the house alone this week when perhaps we really need each other right now.

The Final Countdown!!!

National Infertility Awareness Week #StartAsking

April 22, 20164 Comments

It’s almost National Infertility Awareness Week here in the US, 24-30 April 2016. I don’t know if there is an equivalence in the UK, Canada, Australia, NZ or wherever you are in the world, but seeing as my blog lives in an international community I believe it should be an International Awareness Week (So doth Dani declares!). So join us!

Here are some ways you can ALL get involved to help spread awareness of this disease, whether you are infertile or an infertile loved one’s supporter.

Learn more about infertility. Because knowledge is power.

If you are family or a friend of an infertile loved one then change your facebook profile picture to this. You can download the picture from here.

If you are 1 in 8 couples you can change your facebook profile picture to one of these:

or my favourite…..

Let people know that infertility is a disease by using the phrase, “the disease of infertility” whenever you talk or write about infertility.

If you don’t know what to say to someone who has infertility, then you can read this article: “25 Things to say (and not to say)” from Resolve. If you are finding that some friends just don’t understand your infertility and are saying unintentionally hurtful things – share this link with friends and family so you can help them to help you.

Infertility is a couple’s disease, there is a mis-perception that infertility is a woman’s disease, this is not true. So don’t forget all the men who are affected too.

So what am I doing for National Infertility Awareness Week? I have been prepping some microblog posts, one-a-day, on the subject of this year’s theme #StartAsking – I will also be posting on my personal facebook page – eeeeeeek!!!!

I am participating in Miss Conception Coach’s Bloggers Unit Conference!!!! Watch this space for my article! You can follow her on wordpress and see all the inspiring articles for the conference, her instagram is @missconceptioncoach – she posts lots of beautiful and inspiring words of wisdom 🙂

My local infertility support group is running an information desk at our local clinic throughout the week, and I will help man it for a few hours to make people aware of who we are and what the support group does 🙂

As part of Resolve’s Advocacy day some members of my local infertility support group are visiting Washington DC to talk to members of congress about important family building issues. I can’t go because I have to work (Boooooooo) but they will be taking my letters I have written to our Senators and Congressman with them!

And of course I will be doing all the social media stuff too.

OK that’s a lot for now!!!! TTFN!!!

IVF Diary Vol III: 17-19 Apr 16

April 20, 2016April 20, 201617 Comments

Medication(s) administered and dosage(s). 3DP5DT (3 days past 5 Day Transfer) PM Progesterone in Oil 1ml Intra-muscular injection, vivelle dot estrogen patches 0.1mg x2.

Injecting into my right side is much harder than my left side – even though I’m injecting with my right hand on the right side – it’s just that I have more flexibility in turning my torso left than I do right. Is that weird? Or is that standard for right handed people??

Last night, my first night in a hotel on my own without Chris on hand, I gave myself the progesterone in oil injection. I felt queasy and thought I was going to pass out as the needle got half way in. Fortunately I didn’t, but the whole experienced has made me feel nervous about doing it again tonight :-s

We also experimented and replaced the needle with a new one after drawing up the oil to see if it made a difference. It felt slightly sharper/easier to pierce the skin so I will keep doing that – I have enough needles stored up!!!

Medical procedures undertaken. Nil! Woohoo!!!

Any results? The nurse called with the news about our embryos – none of them were of sufficient quality by the end of day 6 to freeze. Chris came to my work to give me a big hug. The news definitely sucked…but now we know what we are dealing with. We have both kind of pushed this news into the corner for another time to think about. We need to focus on the right now instead. These two little cheeky embryos had better stick!!

What are my symptoms? The Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome symptoms have subsided, my ovaries have had lots of sharp pains and twinges the past two days, but the overall abdominal pains has almost but dissipated except for after eating. Sore boobs….Chris hugged me and I yelped a bit from the tender boobs!!!!

How do I feel today? I had a lovely dream that I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl…like she was the most beautiful baby anyone had seen, the day of coming back home from the hospital we went to a party and showed her off to everyone, then I realised that I didn’t know how to breast feed her and some ladies had to help me. Awkward. That was weird…but what wasn’t weird was the fact that this dream felt so real when I woke up for a slight second I thought it had actually happened for real 😦 I hope it was my body telling me something!!!

What’s next? Is it test time yet????!

The Final Countdown!!!

*Notes. I take First Response Reproductive Health multi vitamin gummies (pre-natal), 5mg Melatonin at bed time and CoQ10 200mg gummies daily. NSTR = Nothing Significant To Report.

IVF Diary Vol III: 14-16 Apr 16

April 16, 2016April 16, 201637 Comments

Medication(s) administered and dosage(s). Transfer Day!!!! PM Progesterone in Oil 1ml Intra-muscular injection, vivelle dot estrogen patches 0.1mg x2.

The past few days Chris has been giving me my progesterone in oil injections because I have been too sore to turn around and attempt to give one to myself in the behind! Last night I prepped the medication as per usual, I iced my backside, then usually I go lie on the bed face down ready for Chris to inject, but this time I decided to secretly attempt to inject it myself! I stood with my side facing the bathroom mirror (which I didn’t actually use in the end). I held the needle like a dart, but it’s very difficult to get a true dart like action when doing this to myself! There was no hesitating this time (I must have tried this about 10 times last cycle). Rather than ‘dart’ it in, I placed the needle on my skin and pushed a little – it didn’t break the skin! I couldn’t feel it because I had iced the area anyway, so I pushed harder. You definitely have to push that thing in a whole lot harder than you might think!!! Anyway, it went in and I started to inject the oil. Chris walked into the bathroom as I was doing this and for a second ignored me…then realised what I was doing, I hadn’t told him I was going to do it!!! He was super impressed!! After I took the needle out I realised that there was quite a lot of blood with this one – typical!!! I hadn’t got the gauze ready. I felt a little dizzy, but not too bad. I put my heat pad on the injection site as usual and gave Chris a high five! Can I give a high five to all my lovely supporters who have cheered me on with this injection!!! You helped me do it! Thank you so much!!!

Medical procedures undertaken. 5 Day Embryo Transfer!!!!! I was very nervous that we would arrive and the procedure would be cancelled because I was still feeling the OHSS symptoms. We arrived at 0700AM at the clinic and we were second in line – there were only two of us patients in the OR today. Learning my lesson from previous transfers I did not drink anything when I woke up and ensured my bladder was as empty as it could be by the time I arrived at the clinic. I started sipping my water about 40 mins before they took me in. They recommend drinking 24oz, but seriously my bladder can barely hold 12oz and with the OHSS the past few days I have only been able to drink about 8oz at the most before needing to pee. Once I was in the OR the doctor told us we had two beautiful embryos to transfer today and one potential to freeze. Once I was in the stirrups, the doctor placed the speculum and the other doctor used the transabdominal ultrasound on my tummy. OH MY GOODNESS it hurt! And this time not from a full bladder! The Doctor exclaimed ‘Oh yes, you do have super enlarged ovaries!’ I just laughed out loud because I could tell him that without the ultrasound. Anyway, the canula tube that the embryos would be transferred by was inserted into my uterus and we were ready to go! The embryologist checked my identity, and went back into his lab and showed us the embryos on the TV screen, confirming they were ours – one of the blastocysts had started to hatch since he took the photo earlier in the morning (a new thing the clinic does!!!! Very cool because before Chris would snap a pic of the TV screen with his phone!). At this point I was crying because of the pain from the ultrasound!!! We watched the embryos on the ultrasound screen ‘arrive’ into my uterus 🙂 We had the same doctor do our transfer for our Positive result last year…not that this should make a difference…but….this is a good sign!!!!!

Any results? The two embryos we transferred were graded 3BB and 3CB (Here is a useful link to find out more about blastocyst grading). There is one blastocyst that might make it to the freezer (FINGERS CROSSED!!! This would be amazing so it can join our other frozen embryo!!!) Sadly the other 7 embryos are highly unlikely to make it to the freezer 😦

The one on the right is the 3BB the one on the left is the 3CB – we haven’t decided on a name for them yet!

What are my symptoms? Still suffering with OHSS, but the important thing is that it is not getting worse. Now we have to hope that it doesn’t get worse if I get pregnant (OHSS can either appear or get worse as hCG levels increases once you actually get pregnant)…so we are still on the watch. I am really getting bored of not being able to do anything other than a gentle walk – and that is a short distance gentle walk too 😦

How do I feel today? I was feeling really anxious last night about today’s transfer and I did not sleep well at all. I had awful nightmares about the Brussels attacks too. I woke up from them and couldn’t stop thinking about it for about an hour or so before I fell back asleep. Today I am feeling relieved that we had at least two to transfer and all those emotions came bubbling up in the form of tears as we left the clinic – a true mix of happy, scared and pained feelings!

BUT I am PUPO! (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise) and for that I am truly grateful. We will be over the moon if this one blastocyst also makes it to the freezer.

What’s next? The two week wait…..eeeeeeek!!! To pee or not to pee (on a stick)…..that is the question!!!!

The Final Countdown!!!

*Notes. I take First Response Reproductive Health multi vitamin gummies (pre-natal), 5mg Melatonin at bed time and CoQ10 200mg gummies daily. NSTR = Nothing Significant To Report.

IVF Diary vol III: 10 -14 Apr 16

April 14, 2016April 14, 201612 Comments

Medication(s) administered and dosage(s). Wait and Hope Phase Day 3 (i.e. the bit between Egg Retrieval and Transfer!). PM Progesterone in Oil 1ml Intra-muscular injection, vivelle dot estrogen patches 0.1mg x2.

Medical procedures undertaken. Egg retrieval – I wrote about it in a separate post here. Basically the procedure went well, but I was in pain immediately waking up from the anesthetic. I had Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome (OHSS) by the time I got to the day of Egg retrieval, so the pain was to be expected (according to the doctor – I was oblivious).

Any results? 17 Eggs retrieved, 12 of these were mature, and 10 of those fertilised. The clinic’s protocol is that if you get 7 or more fertilised eggs then they aim for a Day 5 transfer.

So when I woke up from the egg retrieval, the doctor tried to explain to me the symptoms of OHSS and that I need to watch out for certain potentially dangerous symptoms – such as shallow breathing and vomiting. Apparently she explained all of this to Chris in a whole lot more detail whilst I will still recovering, which was a good thing, because my exact recollection of her words were shadowed by the pain I was having in my abdomen!!!

I put together a nice little chart showing how for this cycle my estradiol levels sky rocketed in comparison to my previous cycles and what we got out of them. Remember, we are trying for quality not quantity!!!

estradiol results.jpg

What are my symptoms? The day of my egg retrieval surgery (Monday) and the day after (Tuesday) I was practically in bed for most of it, or sedentary on the sofa. I was suffering with gas (farts and burps galore!), pain in my abdomen particularly above my belly button and below my lungs. The pain killers really weren’t helping much with the pain, they just caused constipation, so I gave up on them. I could barely eat a plate of food. I ate small portions of soup and bread, I tried to eat salad, but that filled me up after a few bites and made me feel nauseous. I couldn’t even drink much water/gatorade my tummy felt like it was about to puke all the time. Wednesday I braved work because I had to get up and move around. Mentally I was fine, but the lower half of my body was not playing ball. So I left work after lunch to work from my bed instead because all I needed was to lie down propped up. Lying down completely flat and sitting upright/standing weren’t particularly comfortable, but hunching over a bit was OK. I went to bed last night swearing that if I was not better in the morning I would be calling the clinic for an ultrasound. Well despite a crappy nights sleep, I did feel a bit better once I got up. So I weighed myself and measured my waist. No change – but I was still almost 8 inches wider round the waist and 5lbs over my normal weight. I wasn’t getting worse – just not any better, I decided not to call for an ultrasound.

This morning we both waited until 0800 before getting on with our lives because this was the time that the clinic would have called if we were to go in for a Day 3 Transfer, just in case some of our embryos weren’t surviving. But they didn’t call, and we breathed a sigh of relief. Although we know from our last cycle, that this doesn’t mean we have good quality embryos waiting for us on Day 5. So without any updates on their progress until the day of our transfer, all we can do is hope they keep growing strong.

How do I feel today? I was feeling really down yesterday about my OHSS symptoms and frustrated with my body. I am not a good ill person. I was pretty grumpy at Chris too. On Tuesday I decided to enlist the help of my friends and gave this status update on facebook:

“Please send us a happy thought for us as I tuck myself up with a hot water bottle, drinking fluids and electrolytes and eating salty food as I try to ward off the symptoms of ovarian Hyper stimulation syndrome so that we can transfer our embryos this week!!! Anything to make us smile would be greatly appreciated! Post your favourite funnies below! (Although not too funny because my tummy hurts!!!)”

In the spirit of National Infertility Awareness Week‘s theme #StartAsking….I decided to ask for help from our friends to help us get through this rough patch! I am glad I did 🙂 I received many funnies…and gave me a smiley warm feeling inside that my friends were thinking of us. They say laughter is the best medicine!

Also, if I am honest with myself I am nervous that we have one less embryo than from IVF cycle 2….but I must remind myself QUALITY not QUANTITY is important!!!!

What’s next? Our Embryo transfer is scheduled for 0700 Saturday morning!!! Yikes!! I can’t wait to be PUPO – Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise 🙂 Oh and I need to do this progesterone in oil injection on my own. *GULP* my mountain, my nemesis :-s

The Final Countdown!!!

*Notes. I take First Response Reproductive Health multi vitamin gummies (pre-natal), 5mg Melatonin at bed time and CoQ10 200mg gummies daily. NSTR = Nothing Significant To Report.