THAT moment

July 22, 201620 Comments

The Pudding Club Diary @ 16w3d

Chris and I had THAT moment last night. THAT moment when you realise you have the summit in sight, when the pain, tears and anxiety were ALL worth it. And we haven’t even met our little one yet.

As I was getting undressed for bed I pointed out my ‘bump’ and it’s definition. Chris went to put his hands to it. I let him…which is not a usual occurrence because if you are a follower you will know my personal issues with my stomach and understand that I still struggle with this. But I also know I have to let Chris feel the little one too. The day before, I lay in bed before work just staring at my naked tummy for about 20 minutes watching little Rocky squirming around in there. I still haven’t really felt Rocky move, but I definitely have seen him/her moving in the past week or so. That evening as Chris reached out to my tummy – he exclaimed…”I can feel Rocky!!”. We looked at each other, and we were both teary eyed in that moment. It was a moving moment. Silently we knew what this meant. It was real. It wasn’t on some computer screen…it was physically real, in our hands. Our baby is alive and wriggling.

So amazing 🙂

PC Diary: A new home, a new start

July 22, 2016July 22, 201619 Comments

The Pudding Club Diary @ 16w0d

I can’t believe it has been two and a half weeks since my last diary entry. Life has been chaotic as I alluded to in my last PC entry! We bought our house….THREE AND A HALF TIMES over!!! What does that mean? It means that we closed/completed not just once, twice, but three times! We are THAT couple – the one where the realtor/settlement people say to other buyers – well, there was this one time when we did this process three times, so count yourself lucky! None of it was our fault, but mostly put down to an inept realtor on the seller’s side.

The house we had bought was known as a ‘short sale’…which makes things a little different to buying a house normally. A short sale is a house that if sold is unlikely to cover all the debts owed on that house because it is in negative equity, so we had to deal with the bank to negotiate everything. There is little room for negotiating and the house is typically sold ‘as is’. This house had been on the market for almost a year by the time we came to close. It hadn’t been lived in for at least 6 months. It needed some tender loving care to say the least. But that didn’t put us off putting an offer in, even after the inspection came back with a whole bunch of issues:

Active Termites (creepy!)
Leaky roof
Broken toilet that kept self flushing
Rusted up sinks, taps and plugs that all needed replacing
Broken garbage disposal
Broken garage door that wouldn’t open/close
The whole house needed repainting – inside and out – the tenants had not matched the colour of the paint well so it looked like grafitti everywhere!
Outdated kitchen and bathrooms
A garden that had not been cared for and had fallen into disrepair, definitely not housing association approved!
Ants, ants and more ants
A spider/caterpillar graveyard (makes my skin crawl thinking about all the dead bugs there were in this house!!!)

But we could see past the imperfections and loved everything about the house we had been looking for…

A single family home (i.e. a detached house) with garden surrounding the house, back garden south facing
Beautiful hardwood floors (OK they needed a bit of love)
Three additional bonus reception rooms including a sun room, breakfast-diner and ‘play room’
A fourth bedroom (nursery!)
A double garage
A fireplace
Gas stove
Windows and light everywhere
A double height foyer
A ‘nook’ area over looking the foyer
A community pool, tennis courts, playing field and playground opposite our house.
The smallest house in a quiet, lovely family friendly neighbourhood, not far from any kind of amenity you could want in one place, at the edge of the city to escape into the countryside.

You probably think I am bragging….well I am a little bit! We simply love it. We are two lucky ducks and count our blessings.

We booked a day off work to sign the papers and get the keys to our dream home. After we signed the mountain load of papers, we said goodbye to our realtor and thanked everyone we were given the keys to our new house! Off we went to our new house….it was exciting! Our first home together that was all ours (except the whole mortgage debt thing, but you know what I mean).

Whoop whoop! All grown up now with our very own house!

We got to work right away in making all the home improvements we needed to complete before moving in. The next day we got a phone call from our realtor to say that we technically did not own the house yet and did not fully close because of an issue with the bank. Fortunately, our bank agreed to extend their offer because it was holiday weekend we had until after independence day to close again. Yup – we re-signed all those papers! In the meantime, we carried on fixing the house as we had booked all sorts of workers to get started on the house. We were a little bit unsure what would have happened if the house burned down or was struck by lightening because we didn’t own it, therefore we had no insurance. But, the settlement company or realtor didn’t seem to think it mattered much that we still were in the property.

We laughed and joked about re-signing, oh how we laughed! Afterwards, we celebrated again. Yey!!!! we own the house! Well so we thought….the next day Chris got the phone call saying we STILL didn’t close because the seller’s realtor had sent the documents to the wrong address. Because he messed up he agreed to pay the fee to lock us in to our mortgage interest rate again – a cool $770 – out of his own commission. Which ended up SAVING us $22 a month for thirty years because after BREXIT the mortgage rates went down. So it wasn’t so bad in the end.

This time we just laughed like insane people, because that is all that we could do! We resigned the paper work for a third time almost a week later than the original date. No phone calls….yey! we owned the house! Ummmm well kind of, the next week, we had to go and sign another document because the city had decided to change it’s policy for having actual original copies of a certain piece of paper before we could get the application for the deeds. But anyway….1.5 weeks later, we officially closed and owned the house!

In the mean time, we fixed the majority of the problems (well Chris did the handy work) and we painted 2.5 rooms ourselves before realising it would take us a month to finish the rest of the house and decided to pay a painter to do the rooms we needed to be done before the cats moved in! We also did a lot of packing and unpacking every evening after work. Then there was the unruly garden we needed to address ASAP before getting complaints from the neighbourhood housing association!

We tried to paint as much as we could, but in the end needed the hand of a professional painter!!!

Let’s just say that I am glad we didn’t do this thing when I was in my first trimester! It was exhausting as it was, I would not have been much use several weeks ago. We did not stop for two weeks. We had planned to do all this over a month, but because our rented house is a beach neighbourhood and we were cutting our contract early, the management company wanted us out of our house ASAP so they could re-rent it before the end of the summer. Turned out it was pretty easy to rent out and after a few viewings it was gone.

Finally, we moved into our dream house last weekend!

we said bye bye to our old house by the beach….

…but hello to our new house closer to the countryside!!!

We still have a lot of work to do around the house, and a few empty rooms that need furnishing, but we will get there. My mum is visiting next week so we will get her busy with some decorating and gardening 🙂

The whole move has been pretty stressful for our cats Sushi & Diesel, we have been slowly packing/unpacking for almost 2 months now. Sushi has shown us her distain for this process by frequently puking up hairballs in places like our beds, shoes, front door etc. We know this is her thing that shows she is stressed.

Are you done with this packing thing yet?

Then when they arrived in the new house they hid for two days under the sofa in the corner and barely ate/drank a thing. It was worrisome. But they have now got used to their new environment.

Where are you taking me crazy lady human? Sushi started drooling and panting with fear moments after this photo 😦

It was almost three years ago that when we were looking at houses to rent we considered rooms for a nursery, and even a room for an au pair. But that room we thought would be full of baby stayed empty for our whole tenure. It was kind of sad saying good bye to that empty room , with memories of the number of times I thought that this time would be the time we would have to re-arrange the furniture to fit a nursery in, that never came to fruition…

….but I am excited now to know that whatever happens, the room we have designated in our new house as a nursery WILL be a nursery.

A new home, a new start on a new journey.

So that is my excuse for being absent from my blog. I think it passes as being a valid one??!

Your Rights During a Miscarriage

July 21, 20164 Comments

This is a good post…you have many rights when you experience a miscarriage, but many don’t know how to get the care they deserve and need. Asking the doctor for a sick note is also something you have the right to do…my doctor would have written me a note for two weeks, but for me I needed a few days off and then wanted to be at work, so I only took 2 days plus the weekend, but that is not right for everyone. Everyone is different and unique in both circumstances and coping mechanisms.

The secret: marriage, infertility and infidelity

July 10, 2016July 10, 201635 Comments

I have a secret. But it’s not my secret to tell. I didn’t want to know this secret, but somehow I have ended up the keeper of this secret. Let’s just say this world is way too small for my liking.

Let’s start with marriage and infertility. Infertility puts a huge strain on any couple’s relationship, whether you are married or not, it’s makes you question everything about you and the way your partner are together. And sometimes your relationship is questioned through no fault of its own. Infertility does that to you. It tests your relationship in many ways that other couples could never understand. The burden of infertility on each of the couple is heavy and yet we are expected to support each other throughout the grueling journey. And yet each of us infertiles will experience the impact on our relationships in different ways, whether it is positive or negative. Our journeys are different, our relationships are different. But what I am 99% sure of, is that what is common, is that infertility WILL strain your relationship to the point of almost breakage.

When I typed into Google…”Infertility effects….” the top search entries that came up were:

Infertility effects on marriage
Infertility effects on family
Infertility psychological effects
Infertility side effects

That’s pretty damming (because google is always right of course).

I will do a separate blog post one day about my internet research into infertility and marriage someday, but for now, let’s just say….research shows that infertility does impact our relationships. (No shit Sherlock!!!).

But what about infertility and infidelity? It may be argued from an evolutionary view that a failure to produce offspring may cause the failure of a monogamous relationship and increase the likelihood for infidelity to occur. Well, I couldn’t find any research on this theory at all, despite it sounding like a pretty sound theory. But I did find research on Zebra finches which are animals that are socially monogamous. A failure for mummy bird to successfully hatch her eggs made zero difference to their monogamous relationship. Daddy bird did not cheat on her,or vice versa, she didn’t go looking for another mate. And apparently there is no convincing evidence to suggest that this is the case in any other monogamous species either.

So, I really thought that may be infertility could increase the chance for infidelity to occur in a marriage. Turns out I am just paranoid.

For me, Chris and I have definitely had a few moments where we just could not understand each other, we thought may be we were on different paths, may be our marriage was in jeopardy. But despite the rockiness of our emotional and physical relationship, I have never been tempted to cheat. In fact any attention from another man was definitely unwanted. No matter the times we argued. I would not have it in my heart to cheat on him. I feel like our relationship has solidified in crazy ways I cannot explain unless you have lived it. My relationship with Chris is phenomenally strong, I never want that to go away.

I can understand however for some that infidelity may be an escape. An escape from all the problems we face in our struggles to conceive what many do so easily and readily.

And so back to my secret. I have a friend who is going through infertility who has cheated. And none of the three parties involved know that I know. I don’t want to know. But I do. I feel so so sad about this situation. There is never a worse time to cheat on your partner. But I also understand escapism and that some relationships do just simply fail under the weight of infertility. So it is my secret to keep and not to tell. But it kills me at the same time.

What would you do?

The PC Diary: A week to remember

July 10, 201610 Comments

The Pudding Club Diary @ 13w4d

I started this blog post a week and half ago, things have been crazy busy that I have now only just had a chance to finish it. So let’s go back in time……..

It’s a very exciting week! Here’s why…

I heard Rocky’s heartbeat again at my OB appointment!!! I held my breathe as my doctor held the doppler over my belly and there was nothing…it just took a few moments more and there it was! Nice and strong at about 160bpm. Phew. I also had blood taken for the Non Invasive Prenatal Test (NIPT) and Fragile X test. We should get the results 7-10 days, so some time next week (including the gender).

We bought a house!!! We put an offer on a house back in April, it was a short sale (which means that the sellers are behind on their mortgage payments and may go into foreclosure or in negative equity and are short on paying back the full amount owed) so we were dealing with the bank, and the bank holds all the cards, and so it has taken some time to complete the sale. Last night we had the final walk through the property to make sure it was still in one piece (it was), and today we closed (completed) and got the keys to the house! The house needs some TLC and updating, but it is move in ready once it has been cleaned (it hasn’t been lived in for a year) and re-painted. We properly move in in two weeks!!!

And this is as far as I got to….I can’t even remember what the other exciting things were because the next week and a half have been a complete blur. Or may be I have pregnancy brain. It was a week to remember mostly because Rocky is still alive as we go into the second trimester and we bought a house. Or so we thought…..

Deciding on genetic screening

June 26, 2016June 26, 20169 Comments

At my first Obstetrician appointment at 10 weeks we talked about the options for genetic screening. My first homework assignment was to go away and figure out what we would like to screen for….in addition to finding out what our insurance would cover.

Aneuploidy Testing: These are the tests available for screening Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome), Trisomy 18 (Edward’s Syndrome), Trisomy 13 (Patau Syndrome) and open neural tube defects (i.e. Spina bifida and anencephaly).

My OB offers three options for screening:

NIPT- Non Invasive Prenatal Testing (i.e. Harmony or Verify). This is a simple and accurate non invasive prenatal screening blood test. The test can be performed anytime after 10 weeks of gestation. In addition an AFP (alpha-fetoprotein) blood test to test for neural tube defects is also taken at this time. It is also possible to discover the gender of your baby through this test. Approximate cost $825.
Sequential Screening with Nuchal Translucency. This is a two-step test to detect whether a fetus is at increased risk. The test has a narrow window for testing (first step is performed between 10-13 weeks of gestation). It includes 2 blood draws and an ultrasound. The ultrasound measures the amount of fluid behind the baby’s neck (called the nuchal translucency NT). The blood tests measures three different hormone levels, these measurements in combination with maternal information such as height and weight are used to calculate the baby’s risk of Down’s Syndrome or Edward’s Syndrome. The AFP blood test (described in 1) is also taken. Approximate cost $580
Quad Screen (aka quadruple marker test). This is a blood test that measures levels of four substances in a pregnant woman’s blood – AFP, hCG, Estriol and Inhibin A. typically this screen is done between weeks 15 and 20 of gestation. Approximate cost $305.

If any of tests come up with a positive result then additional testing can be performed (These are the more invasive tests you may hear about such as CVS or amniocentesis where the doctor extracts a sample of the baby’s cells from the uterus. Amniocentesis is where a thin needle is inserted through the belly and into the amniotic sac to take a sample of the amniotic fluid. CVS is where the doctor uses a needle through the belly or cervix and takes some placenta cells. These tests carry a very small risk of miscarriage).

Additional Screening Offered:

Cystic Fibrosis. Cystic fibrosis is the most common inherited disease of children and young adults. The carrier frequency is 1 in 24, to 1 in 97. Both parents need to be carriers for a child to be affected (25% chance). 1 in 2500 children born are affected. Cystic Fibrosis is a disorder of mucus production and produces abnormally thick mucus leading to life threatening lunc infections, digestion problems, poor growth, infertility and more. Symptoms range from mild to severe, but individuals with severe disease may die in childhood. With treatments today, people with Cystic Fibrosis can live in their 30s. Cystic Fibrosis does not affect intelligence. Approximate cost $800.
Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA). SMA is the most common inhered cause of early childhood death. The carrier frequency is 1 in 47 to 1 in 73 in the US and both parents need to be carrier or a child to be affected (25% chance). 1 in 11,000 children are affected. SMA is a progressive degeneration of lower motor neurons. Muscle weakness is the most common type with respiratory failure by the age of 2 years old. Muscles responsible for crawling, walking, swallowing, and head and neck control are most severely affected. Approximate cost: $625.
Fragile X Syndrome (the most common inherited cause of developmental delays). Fragile X syndrome is an ‘X-linked’ genetic disease which means it is only carried by the mother. Unfortunately, 1 in 250 females are carriers and a child has a 50% chance of being affected if this is the case. 1 in 4000 boys is affected with Fragile X and 1 in 8000 girls. Approximately 1/3 of all children born with fragile X also has autism and hyperactivity. Approximate cost $390.

What have we decided?

We decided we would like to do the NIPT (Non Invasive Prenatal Testing) for the aneuploidy testing. Why? The accuracy is significantly higher than the other two tests and the false positive rate is very low (0.1%) compared to the other two tests (sequential screening rate is 3.5%, quad screen rate is 5%). Our insurance also covers it, plus it would be nice to have an idea of the gender – although that is a Brucie Bonus because the chances are we are going to wait until a lot later for a gender reveal party, so we are in no hurry!

We will also ask for Fragile X syndrome screening too because one of my brothers has autism and my mum doesn’t know if she is a carrier, so it makes sense to take the test.

My next OB appointment is tomorrow – Monday – afternoon to talk through what we would like to do and to go over my blood test results from my first appointment (they all came back clear, including my slight anemia which I was worried about, so that’s good). If I have my blood drawn tomorrow then the results will take 2 weeks to come back. Another 2 week wait!!

On a side note, I didn’t know much about Down’s syndrome, Edward’s syndrome or Patau syndrome….so I had a read about it all. It’s very interesting to find out more and I’m glad I have educated myself about these a bit more.

Survivor’s Guilt

June 24, 201620 Comments

I have a broad understanding of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) I’ve read a lot about it…so much so that even my Instagram advertises about PTSD charities on my feed (weird).

this advert about PTSD came up on my Instagram feed

There is one thing that I suffer from and that is Survivor’s Guilt. This is when someone believes they have done wrong by surviving a traumatic event when others did not. In my case I have double the effect. Why? Because I survived a horrifying terrorist attack and second, I survived infertility…all within weeks of each other.

I did not know anyone personally who died in the Brussels terror attacks. But I saw people who were dead or dying being carried out on stretchers, left alone on the side of the road as I helplessly watched. At the time I wanted to help, but of course I couldn’t, I was (sensibly) being pushed further and further away from the airport. I have these images burned into my head of a man with his body broken, dusty, bloody, head with loose bandages wrapped around his head, face indistinguishable and arm hanging out, quietly moaning. All alone. But I was behind glass some 20 metres away watching this happen in front of my eyes as more as more people were stretchered out.

I get it. They have a system of triage, there were only so many first responders who were there in the first 20 minutes after the explosions. The cordon was set up to protect people. After all, there was a third bomb in there. We know tactics of terrorists are to create mass effect by targeting the first responders. But that boundary, the distance was so close, but so far. I heard people were saying – I’m a first aider…I’m a nurse…I can help. But they weren’t allowed to. I can’t get my head around those very short moments.

I feel guilty for surviving, for not being able to help. Sometimes my mind is heavy with these thoughts. This doesn’t outwardly appear to affect me overall. Well, I don’t think it does. But I do have some bad dreams (to be expected), not regularly, but perhaps it does affect my sleep. I wake up very early some days, I tend to put it down to my jet lag, but actually, it could be a symptom of PTSD. I don’t have problems falling asleep, and I’m not afraid to fall asleep, so I don’t feel like it is an issue.

Then there is my pregnancy. I am overjoyed we finally achieved our dream, we fought hard to get here! But along the way, I have made friends with some very lovely women who have struggled with infertility too. And the feelings I have are that of guilt. Guilt that I have left them behind. Similar to survivor’s guilt, and in some ways could be classified as such. Infertility is traumatic. I feel like I took the last life boat and rowed away from the desert island leaving you all behind in uncertain conditions. So some days I haven’t been able to open and read blog updates, Instagram is hard to scroll through.

For those of you who are reading this and now worrying about me (my mum probably!!!) It’s OK, I’m OK. I am sensitive to my levels of anxiety and sadness, and how that impacts my daily life…and I am OK. Writing this down is kind of a release to me, and re-reading my writing makes me see things more objectively. And that helps.

I found some words that are helpful (I think) on strategies to cope with survivor’s guilt:

“Rather than focus on the burden of guilt, remind yourself that you and your loved ones have been given a gift — the gift of your survival. Embrace your will to survive and fight the forces that challenge your way of being.”

Reading these words make me feel happy because deep down I know they are true, I just need to remind myself of this when I start to feel sad or guilty.

PC Diary: Heading out of the first trimester

June 21, 201622 Comments

The Pudding Club Diary @ 12w2d

I have been pretty bad at this – I have sooooo much running around in my head right now that I want to blog about but have been so darn tired or busy to type it out. I need some kind of Dictaphone equivalent to easily extract my thoughts from my head!

Another week on work travels – I am back in beautiful Bavaria, Germany as I write! My third transatlantic trip in my first trimester. And they are not kidding, travelling in the first trimester sucks a lot. However, this trip has so far been easier than the previous two, I’m starting to feel a little less nauseous now. Whoop whoop, can’t complain about that!!! (But don’t show me a salad leaf just yet!)

The beautiful view of Bavaria from my hotel room!

I was worried that I might not be able to fit into my work trousers this week whilst in Germany so I decided before I left to go and buy some new maternity work trousers – just in case (I had already popped a button on one pair of my trousers!) The elastic band trick doesn’t work with most of my work trousers because they have metal sliders rather than buttons. So off we went hunting for some cheap super stretchy clothes! I knew there was one dedicated maternity clothes store in town, but I had heard that some chains such as Target, Kohls and Old Navy did maternity clothes so I thought I’d try those stores first. But everything in those stores were too casual or too summery and so I ended up in the dedicated maternity store anyway.

In the maternity clothes store I bumped into a friend who I didn’t know was pregnant (but had suspected based off a group text message and putting 2+2 together) and so it was just confirmed by her simple being there! It was a really lovely surprise because she had been told by her doc years ago she may have problems conceiving, so I am really pleased for them because that wasn’t the case in the end!! Whoop whoop – screw you infertility!! AND we are both due within a week of each other! CRAZY!

Anyway, back to the clothes buying…I went a bit overboard and finally thought what the hell, as I am here I might as well buy it. My reluctance to buy any maternity clothes was based on a fear of losing Rocky. I overcame that reluctance, and it felt really good to be finally in acceptance of this pregnancy.

A nice little haul of maternity clothes 🙂

And so with this acceptance it was time to do my first bump picture. I know that I don’t look pregnant to the casual passer by. I look like I ate a lot of pies! But seeing the bump for real in this photo – I couldn’t believe it, there are definitely outward signs now of a little baby growing in there!

Week 12 bump picture

When I saw the doctor at 10 weeks she said to stick with the gentle exercise, like walking and swimming, but for the first time in months I felt capable of doing a bit more exercise. So I got out the DVDs a friend from work gave to me and did a bit of a prenatal workout. I did one of the routines with Chris. It is a 20 minute partner exercise where your partner provides resistance and balance support…it was actually really fun! However, I ached like hell for two days afterwards. Not a good idea to start an exercise routine the day you fly for 8 hours on a plane! My poor back did not like me one bit. Ahh well, it’s all good for you Rocky!

The prenatal workout DVDs I was given!!

Finally, something that I found a little bit insensitive, and also kind of amusing in some weird typical way that is infertility…my bump app told me that obviously we had sex to conceive our baby, otherwise I wouldn’t be pregnant, DUH, – well actually, this is OBVIOUSLY NOT the case with us! I wish that it had been the case…instead we had almost 17 other people involved in the conception of our IVF baby!

“You obviously made love before pregnancy (hence the pregnancy)” It’s not always obvious you silly app!!!

Food, glorious food!

June 17, 201614 Comments

Let’s talk about something that I enjoy very much in life – food!! My relationship with food has changed so far in this pregnancy.

Morning Sickness. You may recall in the past I wrote about my worries of suffering from severe morning sickness, also known as hyperemesis gravidarum. I have suffered from this before, but this time….it’s barely been a problem!!! So far, I have only suffered from nausea, but if I keep eating little things throughout the day, it isn’t that bad at all. I’ve tried all the gingery things out there and honestly, they don’t really work, ginger ale is the best, but if I have an empty tummy then I still feel sick. Chris even bought several different types of ginger snaps/biscuits for me to try!!!

Aversions. I do have some extreme aversions though…

anything really herby, particularly herby tomato sauces
Lettuce (although I try to eat it, but often end up gagging!
Soft tomatoes
Strong smelling meat and fish
Anything garlicky or oniony

There is currently something in our fridge at the moment that makes me feel like puking, but I can’t figure it out, so I hold my breathe when I open the door!!!

Cravings. The past couple of weeks I have been having a bowl of cereal as soon as I get home from work because I am usually starving by that point! But I think that mostly it’s the milk in the cereal I crave. Yesterday I needed chicken wings!!! There was an hour wait for a table or 15-20 min wait for take out at our local restaurant. I was so hungry I said we had to go to the next restaurant along even though their wings isn’t as good!! I have also eaten a lot of Cheetos recently…(for my UK readers, these are kind of like giant wotsits!), this is not my healthiest habit! So far that is it for the cravings. Nothing obscure and nothing I’ve desperately wanted.

Fluids. I’m still drinking my usual cuppa tea in the morning- I’ve yet to be put off a cup of England’s finest brew! In addition to tea at breakfast I’ve added as part of my extra 300 calories a day a glass of calcium and Vit D fortified Orange Juice. On my way to work and throughout the morning I’ve been drinking one bottle of Vitamin Water zero – that’s a bit of a treat really because they aren’t cheap!! But they contain electrolytes and extra vitamins depending on which flavour I drink. I take a can of ginger ale to work and slowly sip on in the afternoon to help reduce the queasiness. I also add a few drops of Mio fit to my water to make that go down easier!!

My Bowels. I can’t talk about all this food without mentioning my poor bowels. My diet hasn’t changed that much, but My 3-5 poos a day has reduced to 1-2, and on the odd occasion none! This is apparently as a result of the pregnancy hormone slowing this down in the body. I can also feel pretty much all my bowel movements- and they are very painful on occasion. They have even woken me up at night. The doctor said that with my IBS there was no knowing what would happen to my symptoms. I’ve also had some very weird colored poos (thank you google for alleviating any of my fears!!!) But overall I am just very grateful not to have constipation!

Not forgetting Huckleberry

June 12, 201612 Comments

Speaking of not forgetting….this week my app ‘Glow’ I use(d) to track my periods told me that my period was due in 2 days! Well that was a strange thing to say because I had marked “I am pregnant” on the app. So I decided to open it up and see what was going on. Glow was telling me I am pregnant still, so I am not sure why it was telling me my period as due. Anyway, it came up with a big advert saying download our ‘Nurture’ app, a follow on app to glow for pregnant women. So I thought, well why not give it a go. I had already used it once before when I was pregnant after IVF cycle 1 and so downloaded it off my cloud. Once it installed I opened it up and this is what I was faced with…

huck

Are you kidding me???? Oh it was a stab in the gut. Yesterday I was 44 days overdue and Huckleberry was the size of a slightly bigger pumpkin at 46 weeks old!

I haven’t forgotten you Huckleberry. I promise you I never have. But this was just too much. I deleted the app straight away as I couldn’t deal with trying to figure out how to reset it.